Chapter
13
After the
unfortunate incident of the previous night, the newlywed couple behaved in a
more guarded manner towards each other on the day that followed. Elizabeth was feeling
guilty for provoking the argument and Darcy, not wishing to repeat a scene of
that kind again, was even more reserved and quiet than usual.
Elizabeth also regretted her
behaviour towards Georgiana. A night reflection had made her realize that she had
been too quick in her judgement of her new sister and that she had condemned
the poor girl with the same arbitrariness which she had judged her brother. Knowing
that her conduct of the previous day had been exceedingly lacking, Elizabeth contrived to
give her new sister another chance. In this more amiable disposition, she was
able to put the young girl at ease and conversation, though a little strained
at the beginning, came more fluidly and effortlessly as they spent more time
together. This proved Elizabeth that the she had been wrong in her assumptions,
that the girl was more shy than proud and that had been her intolerance and
impatience what had prevented them to start their friendship the day before.
“I learned to
play the piano forte when I was little,” said Miss Darcy. They had just
discovered they shared passion for music and were discussing their preferences.
“I try to practice as often as I can. William always encourages me to do
so.”
“My mother
always told me that I do not practice as much as I should, that is why I
don’t play well enough.”
“Oh,
no,” Georgiana said with vehemence, “I think you played beautifully
last night, so faithfully.”
“No,” Elizabeth shook her head,
“I know I slurred my way in the difficult passages. It is a beautiful
instrument, though.”
“Yes, it is.
My father gave it to my mother for their wedding anniversary. That was the year
before she died.”
“Did that
happen a long time ago? Your brother never speaks of them.”
“I was nine
when she died, and my father passed away on the year that followed.”
“I am so
sorry.”
“Yes, it was
very sad,” Georgiana said pensively and then, she inhaled deeply, as if
trying to erase those painful memories from her mind. “Poor William
assumed the responsibility of raising me at a very young age. He has always
been so very kind towards me. He gave me a pianoforte for my sixteenth
birthday. It is at Pemberley.”
“He is indeed
generous. I would have liked to have had a brother,” Elizabeth offered with a smile. “I have
four sisters, so you can imagine I was raised in a very noisy household.”
“Mine was so
quiet!” Georgiana said with a short laugh. “William and my cousins
were much older and they never paid much attention to me. When I was of age, I
was sent to school, so I am afraid my childhood was very lonely.”
“But he pays
you a good deal of attention to you now. He’s so caring. I have never
seen a brother more considerate with his sister.” Elizabeth
replied, remembering how the eldest Lucas son usually treated his sisters. When
comparing them to Darcy, her husband was indeed the model of brotherly
affection.
“Indeed he is.
He’s most protective, and very patient and forgiving, too.”
Georgiana added with an uneasy smile. “I have not always been the good
sister I should, but that had not lessened his opinion of me.”
Elizabeth wondered why
Georgiana would say something like this. She would never imagine that this
angelic creature would bring trouble to anyone, even less to the brother for
whom Georgiana seemed to profess a blind adoration. For a moment, it seemed
that Georgiana would say something else, but the girl remained silent, and appeared
uneasy. Elizabeth
preferred not to ask any more questions and rang for tea. For the rest of the
afternoon, they chatted animatedly and they agreed to go shopping together in
three days time.
For the first time
in weeks, dinner was a relaxed if not merry event. The three of them conversed
easily and Darcy was satisfied that his wife and sister were enjoying each
other’s company so well.
“Georgiana,”
Elizabeth asked
her sister once they were in the music room. “Would you like to join me
at the piano forte? I thought we could play a duet.”
“A
duet?” Miss Darcy asked with some apprehension.
“Yes,” Elizabeth rose and
extended her hand to her. “I have been playing alone for too long and I
would like to share the responsibility of entertaining your brother with
someone else.”
Darcy looked up and
saw his wife’s playful eyes upon him. He smiled his approval to her
suggestion and encouraged his sister with a “go dearest. I would love to
hear you play.”
The ladies sat in
front of the instrument. After a brief deliberation, they selected a duet by
Mozart which they both knew. But as they had never played together, the song didn’t
start with the precision it should. They made a second attempt and by the third
one, though the melody had not been mustered, they were giggling uncontrollably.
Soon they gave up all pretence of proficiency and surrendered to their mirth,
laughing heartily at their fruitless attempts to play the very ill-executed
song.
Sitting on his
chair, Darcy was exceedingly delighted with their exhibition even if the
performance, in terms of musical excellence, was extremely lacking. It had been
years since the Darcy Townhouse was blessed with the sound of joy and laughter
and he was happy that it had been his sister and wife the ones that had
restored some of the warmth the mansion had lost when his mother passed away.
From her stance at
the piano Elizabeth
was granted a most remarkable and quite unprecedented image as she beheld, for
the first time, her husband’s toothy grin. ‘He is so handsome when he laughs’!, she noticed,
thoroughly amazed. He was always so
reserved and serious that she had though him incapable of feeling or expressing
emotions in any way connected to mirth and gaiety. It was comforting to know
that he could achieve a certain level of amusement when the occasion deserved
it.
The gentleman felt her
eyes on him and smiled as he bowed his head in a silent expression of gratitude
for making Georgiana --and himself-- so happy this evening. Elizabeth smiled in return and their joyful expressions
were still there when they looked away.
This interlude with
her new sister gave Georgiana enough confidence to try a song all by herself. Elizabeth returned to the
sofa, this time choosing to sit at the end that was closest to her
husband’s armchair.
“That was
outstanding, Mrs. Darcy. Thank you.” He leaned closer to speak without
distracting his sister.
“You are too
generous, sir,” she replied archly. “I played very ill
indeed.”
“I was not
referring to the song,” he whispered.
Elizabeth felt her cheeks go
warm and immediately turned her attention to the player. When she dared to look
back at her husband, he was observing his sister, with a most appealing expression
of placid joy adorning his features.
Miss Darcy was done
with her song and returned to her seat while hearing the praise of her brother
and sister. A second round of coffee was served and it was then when Darcy made
an announcement that none of the ladies had expected to hear.
“Mrs. Darcy,
Georgiana,” he began. “There is something I must tell you both. For
the past few weeks I have been neglecting some ... investments that I must see to.
I would rather not leave so soon after our wedding, Mrs. Darcy, but I fear that
my personal intervention is required if I want this business to be resolved
satisfactorily.”
Elizabeth was taken aback by
this intelligence yet she braved the news with tolerable equanimity. Now that
things seemed to be changing for the better, that she was willing to try to
improve her relationship with her husband, he was leaving. But, after the
spectacle she had staged on the previous night, she could not blame her husband
for wanting to quit her company forever. Perhaps this lapse apart was what they
needed.
“Leave?”
Georgiana cried. “Why? You two just married!”
Darcy stole a quick
glance at his wife, noticing a faint blush across her cheeks. “I know, my
dear. But if I could find another way to resolve this matter without leaving I
would certainly do it.”
“And when are
you departing, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth
sounded unmoved by the news.
“Tomorrow, at
dawn.”
“So soon.”
She observed.
“Yes. I do
not wish to delay it any longer.”
There was a tense
silence as the couple stared at each other. Georgiana sensed that they needed
some privacy and tactfully excused herself from their company. Before leaving,
she went to say good-bye to her brother.
“Good night,
brother. I shall see you at breakfast.”
Darcy raised a
dubious eyebrow. “I know you are a good sleeper, young lady. I shall not
be offended if you are not in time to bid me good-bye.”
“I shall do
my best, but in case I am not there in time …” Georgiana rose to
her toes and kissed her brother’s cheek. “… Godspeed.”
Darcy chuckled and
kissed her forehead. “Good night, my dear. Be a good girl to your sister
while I’m gone.”
“I will. Good
night, Elizabeth.”
“Good night,
Georgiana.”
Darcy went to table
and offered his wife a glass of sherry. She accepted it with a smile.
“Your business has arisen rather unexpectedly, Mr.
Darcy.”
“Not really,”
he served himself some port. “This matter has been preoccupying me for
quite some time and I have been delaying my departure since. But be assured
that I would not leave if it were not absolutely necessary.”
“I sincerely
hope I am not the reason for your delay to leave, sir.”
“No, madam, not
at all.”
“I would not
forgive myself if I were the cause of distracting you from your
responsibilities.”
He was struck by
her comment, yet he could not detect resentment or animosity in her tone. Not
sure of how to interpret her meaning and not willing to start a discussion that
apparently neither desired, he chose to reply sincerely. “Mrs. Darcy. I
do not regret any moment I have been with you.”
Elizabeth blushed and looked
down. Surely there were moments in her company that he regretted sharing with
her and he was just being polite. “Thank you, sir. How long are you going
to be away?”
“A week
perhaps, or a little longer. It will depend on the condition of the
roads.”
She was silent for
a moment, pondering if it would be wise to ask her next question. Would her
husband object if she visited her family during his absence? Surely he would. Her
relatives had never met with his approval and she was almost certain that he
would not regard her request to call on her uncle that resided in the least
fashionable side of London
with favourable eyes. Yet, she wanted to make this one attempt. If her
solicitation was denied, then she would have to resign herself to give up
–perhaps for ever—of those she loved most. After clearing her
throat, she began,
“Mr.
Darcy, I know my following request will quite possibly meet with your
disapprobation, but I feel obliged to elaborate it nonetheless. If you do not
find it inconvenient, I would like to ask you if you could be so kind as to
give me your permission to visit my aunt and uncle that reside in Cheapside during your absence. I am most desirous to see
them.”
Darcy, who had been
holding his breath on hearing the solemnity of her initial approach, slowly
released his air. Truth be said, he had been afraid –terrified in
fact—that she would ask his authorisation to leave for Longbourn and
reside there until his return. Had that been the case, he would have readily
obliged, even if her eagerness to quit his house would have left him extremely
disappointed.
But it had been the
last part of his wife’s petition that had mortified him the most and made
him feel greatly ashamed of himself. His wife had just asked his consent to
visit her family and what was worse, she was almost certain that her solicitation
would be denied. And for that horrid preconception, he was the only one to
blame. Elizabeth
probably thought he held her prisoner in his house, that he was some sort of tyrant
that was trying to separate her from those she loved most. Was she so far from
the truth? Not really. Prior to his marriage his thoughts had wandered in that
direction in more than once and resolved that Elizabeth should be completely detached from
her family immediately after the wedding ceremony. Not long ago he would have considered
her solicitation extremely inappropriate and quite possibly given a reluctant acquiescence
or –more likely-- express his fervent disapprobation.
Properly humbled by
her speech, Darcy replied in a rather shaky voice, not able to keep from his
tone the hurt inflicted by the acknowledgement of his own faults. “Of
course, Mrs. Darcy. I will be very happy if you and Georgiana visited them. I
am sure that she shall be delighted to make their acquaintance.”
Elizabeth noticed his
troubled countenance and realized that perhaps her doubtfulness might have
caused him pain. She saw no way to rectify this without hurting him even more,
so she smiled at him and thanked him for his kindness.
“I am most
certain that they will appreciate her company as well.”
They stayed in the
music room a while longer but little conversation was made. As Darcy escorted
his wife to her chambers, she gratified him with the following words,
“I shall not
bid you goodbye to you now, sir, as I intend to join you for breakfast tomorrow
morning, before you leave.”
“I look
forward to it, madam.”
It was an hour
before dawn when Darcy awoke at the sound of his valet moving about his
dressing room, readying his personal items for this trip. Once he dressed,
Darcy dismissed his man and wandered about his chambers, wondering if Elizabeth was already
awake. He doubted it. It was too early and although she said she would come
down for breakfast, it was improbable that she would wake up so early to see
him depart.
He was about to
quit his chambers when he recalled he was leaving something behind. He walked
towards his desk and opened the drawer. Inside, the letter he wrote three weeks
ago was still waiting to be delivered. It had been so long, so many things had
happened since he wrote it, that he almost forgot about it. ‘Mrs.
Elizabeth Darcy’ was written on the outside, in a very tight
handwriting. As he held the paper in his hand, he pondered if it would be wise
to give the letter to her now that he was leaving. It had been written in such
bitterness of spirit that Darcy feared it would only make things worse. Perhaps
he could rewrite it in a more neutral and amiable prose and mail it from his
first stop. No, he was delaying this too much. She deserved an explanation and
he wanted, he needed to tell the truth. Time would tell if he did the right
thing or not.
Darcy had his
breakfast alone. He knew that it was too early for Elizabeth to join him but he had wished, nay,
hoped he could see her before his departure. But he could not blame her for not
being there. He was only the husband she despised.
Elizabeth awoke with a
start.
“Good Lord! I
overslept! I hope he is not gone by now!”
She jumped out of
the bed and rushed to her dressing room in search of her maid. Where was the
girl? How could she forget to ask her own maid to wake her up? There was no
time to ring for her now so she started a frantic search of her dress.
Being one of five
sisters, and with Longbourn’s limited staff, Elizabeth was more than used to doing her own
toilette. Yet there was not time to make herself presentable this morning so
she threw away her night cap and hastily slid her feet inside her slippers
while tying her robe around her waist. Without an instant to loose, she ran to
her vanity and grabbed her brush, realizing that there was no time for pins or
intricate hair styles and decided that letting her hair loose would have to do.
In that wild state, she left her chambers to sprint down the halls towards the
main entrance of the house.
“Please, let
me be there on time,” she prayed as she rushed down the stairs with her
robe flapping behind her. Her efforts proved to be effective and she reached
the hall in time to see her husband being helped with his cape and gloves.
Darcy was about to
give up his hopes of seeing his wife before his departure when he heard the
sound of steps resounding on the hall. He was more than pleased when the sight a
very dishevelled Elizabeth,
running toward him, appeared in front of his eyes.
Now in full view of
her husband and servants, the young wife realized how unladylike her behaviour
was and stopped in her tracks, gliding on the polished marble as she tried to come
to a full halt. Trying to recover her composure, she stood tall, took a deep
breath, then walked towards Darcy as dignifiedly as she could while attempting
to put some order in her hair. She was certain she was a wretched sight yet it
could not be helped. Little did she know that, to her husband, though flushed
and agitated, she was the most beautiful sight he had ever beheld.
“I am sorry,
Mr. Darcy,” her chest was still heaving. “It was my intention to
join you for breakfast but I ...”
“You overslept,”
he pointed out smilingly.
“Yes!”
She laughed.
Darcy became
incapable of any coherent thought when he heard her laugh. All he could think
at that moment was to kiss her and carry her back to his bedchamber. But
recovering himself, he offered gallantly, “My solitude during breakfast
has been amply rewarded by your enchanting
appearance. Thank you for coming to bid me good-bye.”
“It is my
pleasure, Sir,” she smiled brightly.
Somehow during
their conversation the manservant had vanished and the couple was left alone.
With every second, Darcy was fighting the urge to take her in his arms so he
decided to put an end to his agony and end the meeting.
“I must
leave, Mrs. Darcy,” his words caught at his throat.
“Have a pleasant
journey, Sir.” Elizabeth
smiled amiably at him. “Please take good care of yourself.”
“I
will.”
Darcy stepped
closer and looked at her with an intensity that made her temperature rise.
Without taking his eyes from hers, he took her hand and brought it to his lips.
“Good-bye,
madam.”
He was gone in a
heartbeat. Elizabeth
then found herself alone at the door, observing the chaise as it rolled up the
street. When she looked down, there was a letter in her hand.
The sun was rising
on the horizon on that foggy morning. Sitting by the hearth of her bedchamber, Elizabeth read the letter
that Darcy had given her with tremulous hands and conflicting emotions.
The letter began
with the enunciation of Darcy’s reasons to separate Jane from Mr. Bingley.
On a first read Elizabeth
thought his explanation extremely insufficient as she could not believe him so
completely unsuspicious of her sister’s attachment. Yet on a second
perusal, she was able to accept his point of view.
‘… Her
look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any
symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening's
scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not
invite them by any participation of sentiment.’
‘…I
shall not scruple to assert that the serenity of your sister's countenance and
air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that,
however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily
touched’.
Charlotte had once made a
similar observation during the Netherfield ball, one that Elizabeth had dismissed also as inaccurate. Jane,
though owner of the sweetest disposition, had never been overly demonstrative
with her sentiments and to the common observer she might have looked uninterested
in Mr. Bingley’s attentions. Darcy’s interpretation of Jane’s
attitude was completely wrong, so was his interference, but now she realized
that he based his actions on a misapprehension. He had misunderstood
Jane’s behaviour and his only wish had been to protect his friend’s
heart.
‘…The
situation of your mother's family, though objectionable, was nothing in
comparison of that total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly,
betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by
your father.’
The segment in
which he elaborated about her family provoked a certain irritation at the
beginning but soon this sentiment mutated into reflective acceptance. As
mortifying as it was to admit it, Darcy’s reproach had merit. His
contempt was not ill-founded and the proof of it was her own embarrassment at the
distateful behaviour her family had systematically exhibited during the
Netherfield ball.
Mr. Wickham and his
connection with the Darcy family were also brought into light. That was how she
learned the truth about Wickham’s true character and how he had abused
his condition of being the late Mr. Darcy’s godson.
‘…Mr.
Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders,
he hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more
immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the preferment by which he could not
be benefited. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church, were it
possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in
return three thousand pounds.’
At this point
of her reading Elizabeth
was overwhelmed by a strong sense of shame. Without even bothering to know the
other side of the story, Elizabeth
had chosen to believe Wickham’s words. There had been so many
inconsistencies in his tale she had chosen to dismiss that she could not think
of her behaviour without feeling partial, prejudiced, absurd. Her husband had
never denied him the living that was established in his father’s will, it
was Mr. Wickham the one who did not want it. Darcy’s comportment was
correct in every sense, he gave Wickham compensation, and still the
unscrupulous gentleman came back for more.
‘... she was
taken from school to Ramsgate and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by
design; for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs.
Younge, my sister’s companion at the time, in whose character we were
most unhappily deceived. By her connivance and aid, he so far recommended
himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of
his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in
love and to consent to an elopement. She was then but fifteen.’
What hurt her
most was to learn what Wickham did to Georgiana. The poor girl had her feelings
manipulated by that rascal at such tender age. She was fortunate to have such a
caring brother that was there to protect her and offer his comfort her after that
horrid experience. Had it not been for Darcy’s timely intervention,
Georgiana’s life would have been ruined.
‘… I
know not in what manner, under what form of falsehood, he has imposed on you;
but his success is not, perhaps, to be wondered at. Ignorant as you previously were of every
thing concerning either, detection could not be in your power, and suspicion
certainly not in your inclination. I cannot help supposing that the hope of
revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. And I am afraid that, after
what happened tonight, I can now affirm that his revenge has been complete
indeed.
Elizabeth was now overcome
by guilt. How wrong she had been! How despicably she had acted! She, who had
always prided herself of discernment, was duped by a scoundrel’s sweet
talk. ‘Your loyalty belongs to your
husband’, her aunt Gardiner had told her before her wedding. Elizabeth
had most incautiously ignored her sound advice and persisted in her hate for a
man whose only crime was his reserve and stoicism. To gratify
her vanity, pleased by the preference of one, offended by the neglect of the other on
the beginning of their acquaintance, she had courted prepossession and
ignorance allowing a man to flatter her, to poison her mind, and
willfully became the instrument of his revenge.
With her soul full of pain and remorse, for the first time since her
wedding, Elizabeth
cried.