Chapter 9



Beyond a doubt, this had been the most enlightening and yet the most disturbing and heart wrenching night of Elizabeth's life. In only a matter of hours she had gone from fearing to admiring him; from hating the man and believing him a cold hearted murderer to condoling with his suffering. The lessons of life she received from him, the things she had learned had confronted her with the worst of her own character. She had been blind, prejudiced, partial, absurd. She, who had always boasted of superior discernment was nothing but a prejudiced girl with little understanding of the world. Until that moment, she had not known herself.

"And this gentleman, have you heard from him again?"

Darcy threw a few more logs in the fire. "To my misfortune, our paths crossed again last fall."

"Last fall?" she asked, puzzled. "But you were in Hertfordshire until …"

… the 28th of November, when Darcy abruptly quit Netherfield two days after the ball. So unless their encounter happened immediately upon his arrival to town, it must have occurred while Darcy was still residing with Mr. Bingley. She did not recall anything in particular about his stay, except for the strong antipathy she felt for him at the time, fuelled by Mr. Wickham, who had no scruples in sinking Darcy's character before her eyes and who installed the seed of prejudice against the gentleman in the first place. 

As Wickham's name came to her mind, something just clicked in her, as if the key piece of a puzzle had been placed correctly, allowing her better discernment. Suddenly, everything seemed so clear. Darcy's expression during that meeting in Meryton, when Denny introduced Wickham to Elizabeth and her sisters, was not shame as she had initially thought but anger for seeing again the man that almost ruined his sister's reputation. That was the reason why Wickham had not attended the Netherfield ball, he was afraid of Darcy! It was so obvious! His abuse against Darcy, his ungenerous words towards his sister, had been only lies, vile lies! Until now, Elizabeth had never attempted to confirm the veracity of his affirmations and believed his accusations as true without giving the matter a second thought. But now that she had a better understanding of Mr. Darcy's character, she was able to realize the impropriety of those revelations to a stranger and the inconsistency of Wickham's professions with his affirmations. It had to be Wickham!

Darcy stood by the hearth observing the gradual change of Elizabeth's countenance, from puzzlement to thoughtful meditation to utter realization. Her eyes met his, wide with bewilderment and her mouth moved, but no words would come out from it. He instantly knew what she was thinking.

"Yes, Miss Bennet," said he before she asked. "You have guessed right. That man is Mr. Wickham."

Elizabeth was in shock, in utter shock. "He … I … he said so many things about you, he has spoken so ill of you …"

"I do not know with what falsehood he has imposed on you but on that matter I can only advise you not to believe one word he says. His character is most deceitful."

However, Elizabeth could not be so forgiving of her past mistakes for she had had her share in those conversations. If Wickham had been a prolific talker, she had permitted and even encouraged those inappropriate confessions. "He said you deprived him from the living your father promised to him, that you …" She was too shocked to elaborate further.

Darcy left the poker aside and sat in the armchair opposite to hers. He reclined back with a loud sigh. "That is not true. Soon after my father died, Wickham wrote to inform me that he had resolved against taking orders and asked for pecuniary compensation in lieu of the preferment by which he could not be benefited. I knew he ought not to be a clergyman so I readily acceded to his request. He resigned any assistance in the church, accepting in return the amount of three thousand pounds, which, together with the inheritance of one thousand pounds he had received upon my father's death, left him in a fairly good position."

Elizabeth listened quietly, incredulous that she had been so stupid as to believe Wickham's tale. 

"He told me about his intention to study the law," Darcy proceeded, "though I knew it was a mere pretence. His life from then on was all idleness and dissipation. For some time, I did not hear from him. How he lived, I knew not, but about three years later, when he ran out of money, he came to see me again. Having reconsidered his past decision, Wickham claimed the living he had previously resigned. It appears that he found the law to be an unsuitable study for him and resolved to take orders, demanding me to present him to the living in question. I refused, of course, and he swore revenge. The next time I heard of him was in Ramsgate."

"But …" she was still in awe, "why did you not expose him while in Meryton? He said infamous things against you."

"Be certain that I would have acted in consequence had I heard him abusing my character, but his sayings never reached my ears. Perhaps I should have warned your father about this intelligence while I was still there. I understand Mr. Wickham was frequently received at Longbourn."

"He dined with us several times, yes" said she, a bit mortified. 

"You seem to have taken eager interest in that gentleman's concerns in the past." Darcy stated quietly, almost tentatively. 

To this comment, Elizabeth blushed and stared at her hands, ashamed of having encouraged that connection but, most of all, afraid that Darcy would perceive the partiality she once felt for Wickham. "I must confess that I allowed myself to condole with his misfortunes without giving the matter deeper thought."

"His misfortunes," Darcy replied with sarcasm. "His misfortunes have been great indeed."

"As you said, he can be very deceiving. He duped us both." 

Darcy nodded and again they fell silent, both reflective on the recent turn of events. Only the sounds of the cracking wood persisted and the occasional vibration of the window panes that were still suffering the effects of the storm. 

"You must be desirous to leave this island as soon as may be," Darcy reflected, "This visit has become a most unpleasant experience."

"Indeed, sir," said she, "though it is not merely that what urges to return home. My sister Jane's spirits has been low lately and I long to see her."

"Is anything the matter?" 

The gentleman's participation in the separation of Jane and Mr. Bingley was still an unresolved issue between them, one that Elizabeth was eager to clarify for she still held him responsible for her sister's present grief. But she was also aware that she had failed in sketching Darcy's character in the past and that she could not allow her judgement to be poisoned by inaccurate information delivered by unscrupulous people a second time. Now that she doubted Col. Fitzwilliam's reliability, this could also been one matter in which she could have been misled and that demanded clarification. She thus replied,

"Oh, no. She … has been in Town for the winter and she misses home dearly." The gentleman nodded and she proceeded. "Sir, if you do not object, I would wish to ask you a question."

"Pray, go ahead."

Elizabeth shifted in her seat, not sure of how to begin. They had achieved a relationship of friendship and confidence that she did not wish to ruin. She chose her words carefully. "For some time I was of the idea that Mr. Bingley was persuaded to leave Netherfield before time because of the growing attachment he felt towards my sister Jane. This intelligence was confirmed two days ago by Col. Fitzwilliam, as was your direct participation in the affair. As I am not certain I can trust your cousin's sayings, and having misinterpreted your character before, if it is no inconvenience to you, I would like you to inform me if, in this case, I have also been labouring under a misapprehension."

"No, madam, you have not."

She looked down at her hands, tension now visible in his features. "May I ask you why? Is there a good reason for dividing them from each other? Since Mr. Bingey's departure my sister has immersed in a misery of the acutest kind." 

Darcy also studied his words before replying. Elizabeth's question was charged with anguish and he did not want to inflict any further harm on her. "At the time, I believed your sister to be indifferent to my friend's attentions and I thought best to …"

"Indifferent?"

"Yes, I observed them, most carefully and his attachment appeared to be deeper than hers. I only wanted to spare him the pain of loving someone and not being loved in return. But if you are not mistaken here, I must have been in error. You certainly know your sister better than I do." 

"So their separation is not, in any way, related to her lack of fortune or poor connections?" 

"No," Darcy frowned, "The want of connection would never be so great an evil on my friend's case as it would be in mine. Other reasons moved to preserve my friend from what I esteemed would be an unhappy connection."

"Other reasons, sir?" 

He rose, and walked toward the hearth, uncomfortable with what he was about to disclose. "It is not my wish to offend you with what I am going to say, pardon me if I do but the inappropriate conduct betrayed by your mother and your youngest sisters during the ball were what, in the end, convinced me that I should warn my friend from the inconvenience of proposing to your sister. If it serves of consolation, I must add that you and your sister I must exclude. I have the highest opinion of you." 

Elizabeth was too mortified to make reply. After a moment of reflection, he proceeded.

"However, I do not think these reasons were strong enough to prevent the marriage had my friend been certain of having secured Miss Bennet's regard. If Bingley did not propose it is because he seconded my assurance of your sister's indifference. I must confess, though, that his modesty had made him too dependent on my judgement and, perhaps, I drove him on. It was unknowingly done and can only apologize for my actions."

Even when he had just confirmed his blame for occasioning her sister's suffering, Elizabeth applied to her better judgement and commanded herself to be forgiving. Darcy erred, perhaps almost as wrongly as she had when she accused him of being a cold heart murderer. Still, she knew that, even when he brought so much pain to her sister, he was only trying to protect his friend and that was another proof of his loyalty towards those he cared for. She should be as tolerant with his mistakes as he had been with hers.

"Do not trouble yourself on this account, sir, I perfectly understand why you have been misled in this case. My sister hardly shows her feelings to me and it would be impossible for someone so unconnected to her to discern what she truly felt. As for what you saw at the ball, I can only say that I too have memories of that I would rather forget."

Darcy poked the fire silently, wondering if their dance together was one of them. 

Elizabeth fixed her eyes on the carpet and wrapped her arms around herself. Everything about that night of the ball had been wrong, her sisters' behaviour, her mother's, her father's and even her own impertinent attitude towards Mr. Darcy. 

"Is this storm ever going to end?" Elizabeth shuddered at those recollections. "It has been raining for two days."

Before she could notice it, Darcy was standing by her side and the cold replaced with warmth as he placed his tail coat over her shoulders. She tried to protest and return the coat but his soft, 'pray, keep it, you are cold,' convinced her otherwise. It made her feel safe and protected for the first time since she arrived at this island. 

"Thank you, sir."

He smiled, and bowed his head before returning to his post near the hearth.

Elizabeth closed the coat over her chest, giving in to the comforting feeling it brought. She glanced at Darcy, who was now pensively poking the fire and could not but sweep her eyes up his figure, which, until now, she had never allowed herself to admire. He was tall and fit, his profile was perfect, and while he was not as presentable as he usually was when in her company, this slightly dishevelled appearance made his manly form even more appealing. A handsome man, indeed.

"What do you think will happen when the bailiff arrives?" she asked a moment later. 

He startled, lost in his thoughts as he was. "I have no idea. As my cousin said, we are all suspects. I am not certain we would be allowed to leave the island until the murderer is found."

"And what of the letters? If they are found, the constable might arrive to the same conclusion I had and …"

"Accuse me of my aunt's murder?" he finished the sentence for her. She nodded quietly. "Too many people would be benefited by my aunt's death. There is no reason for his suspicions to befall directly upon me. Let us have faith in his capacity to resolve this crime."

"Still, I think you should recover them. They may fall in the wrong hands and you will never find peace."

Darcy looked at her, his brows knitted with puzzlement. But then, his features softened and a tender smile curled up his lips. "I wish I knew where they are. My aunt didn't leave them in her chambers. They could be anywhere. Here at Rosings, in a safe in London, anywhere."

"At least no one can force you into an undesired marriage anymore."

He observed her for a moment, as if uncertain of what to say. "No. Still, there are certain impositions for someone of my rank. It is expected that I marry from my own class."

Elizabeth coloured and looked down. While she never aspired to form an alliance with this man, his last affirmation made her wonder about her eligibility as a marriage prospect. Even though he was a gentleman and she a gentleman's daughter, her lack of fortune, her poor connections, as Darcy stated, while not objectionable in Jane's case regarding Mr. Bingley, would be an obstacle impossible to overcome in his. A man like him could never have her.

The grandfather clock chimed two and the couple was reminded that it was too late in the night to stay awake. 

"Miss Bennet," said Darcy, "I fear I must decline the pleasure of your company and escort you back to your rooms. It is well passed the hour for bedtime."

Elizabeth rose from her seat and took the arm he was offering her, not once meeting his eyes. They walked through the corridors, climbed up the stairs and crossed the gallery in complete silence. Once at her door, Elizabeth removed the coat from her shoulders and handed it back to its owner.

"Thank you, sir," she said with a quick courtesy. "Good night."

But instead of taking the coat and giving her a bow as had been expected, Darcy captured her hand and lifted it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her skin. 

"Good night," he said and only then let go of her hand.

"Mr Darcy! Sir! Thank God you are awake." Darcy's man servant came running down the gallery. "You must come, sir!"

"Ferguson," cried Darcy, "what is the matter?"

"Tis Mrs. Jenkinson, sir, she fell from the staircase!"

"Is she hurt?" asked the gentleman.

The manservant glanced at Elizabeth and then at his master. Darcy realized that he did not want to talk in front of the lady.

"I shall go directly. Where is she?"

"I will show you." the man pointed out.

Before leaving, Darcy addressed Elizabeth. "Miss Bennet, if you do not find it inconvenient, I would like to ask you to stay in Miss Lucas' room tonight. I would be more at ease knowing that you are not on your own. We have had enough tragedies in this house to risk a new one."

Elizabeth was glad for the suggestion. She too was afraid of spending the night alone in her room. "Aye sir. I will only pick up my nightclothes and join her."

"I will wait for you. I would rather not have you wandering these corridors alone."

She hurried into her room and appeared only a moment later with a bundle of clothes in her hands. Darcy escorted her to Maria's room and waited patiently until the young girl opened the door.

"Lizzy! What is the matter?" cried Maria. 

"Lizzy!" Charlotte appeared directly behind, "where have you been? We knocked at your door and …" the parson's wife realized that Elizabeth was not alone. "Mr. Darcy," she dropped a courtesy, "I am sorry, I didn't see you, I …"

"Charlotte," Elizabeth proceeded. "There was an accident downstairs and Mr. Darcy suggested that I should not stay alone in my room."

"Of course," Mrs. Collins noticed Darcy's earnest expression and realized that something serious must have happened. "Come in." That said, she grabbed Elizabeth's arm and pulled her into the room. Darcy was gone immediately after.

Chapter 10
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