Chapter 21
William Darcy was sitting in the darkness, scotch in hand, waiting. Just waiting. He had been suspecting something was wrong for months, though he didn't want to see it before. But now his fears were confirmed. The only thing he could do was to wait.
He heard the lock of the front door of the penthouse open and saw her tall and slim figure entering the apartment without turning on the lights. She carelessly dropped the keys on a nearby table and took her shoes off.
"Hello Caroline," he said from his seat.
"William!" Her eyes widened in shock and she put her hand on her chest.
"Surprised?"
She released a nervous laugh and arranged her hair. "Darling, when did you arrive? I thought you were in Malaysia until Thursday." She began to walk to him.
"Where were you?" William's voice remained expressionless.
She stopped. "Here, of course."
"Caroline, it's 3 in the morning."
"Will, dear," she used her sweetest tone of voice, "I went to see Louisa, you know how it is when we start to talk, we never realize what time it is until it's too late."
"I see. And yesterday?"
Caroline looked around. "Yesterday? I was here. No, I went shopping in the afternoon. Did you call at night? Perhaps I was asleep when you called. I had difficulty to sleep these past days so I had a couple of pills last night."
"I arrived yesterday afternoon." He sipped his drink.
She remained silent.
William extended his arm and turned on the light next to him.
"I found this in your bedroom." He showed her a man's handkerchief.
"I guess it must be yours," she said nervously.
"With a 'G' in the monogram?" he asked calmly.
"William, what are you trying to say?"
He rose and walked towards the window, running his hand through his hair. "What are you trying to hide, Caroline?"
Caroline walked after him and ran her hands up and down his back very slowly. "I missed you," she whispered into his ear.
William turned around, caught her wrists and pushed her away.
"You have a lover, don't you?" he asked in a low voice.
"No!"
He shook her violently. "Stop lying, Caroline! I've been listening to your lies for months!" He ignored her offended expression. "Do you think I'm stupid? That I don't know what's going on? You rented an apartment, your expenses are astronomic, you moved into another bedroom 3 months ago. Tell me!"
Caroline freed herself from his grip. "What do you want me to do? You are so involved in that bloody chemical plant that you forgot you have a wife! You travel for weeks only to return so tired and absorbed with your work that you wouldn't even pay attention to me!"
William turned his back to her and ran his hand down his face. "I asked you to come with me. You are my wife and I needed you by my side."
"To Malaysia?" she asked with an incredulous laugh. "You are crazy. I wouldn't go there for all the gold in the world."
"Who is he?" He turned to her.
"A man that knows how to please a woman." She looked at him with disdain.
William released a low and menacing laugh. "Of course, I forgot that part. The woman with the eternal headache, the lady that can't share a bed because she has a restless sleep and don't want to be a 'bother', the wife that invented any kind of excuse not to have sex with her own husband!"
"You don't care about my needs, William."
"No? I loved you! I've done everything for you, Caroline, you have everything you asked for. I accepted your decision of not having children. You separated me from my family. I even refused assignments to be with you because you didn't want to travel. And when this one appeared you encouraged me to go! You have someone to keep you entertained, don't you?"
She took a cigarette from her purse and lit it. "What if I have? You live in a fantasy, William. You with your high principles of love and devotion, with your ideas of the perfect marriage, with your loyalty to your father and to your work." She inhaled the smoke and released it slowly on his face. "I was born to be a fashionable lady. When I married you I thought you would drop that stupid New Project Division and join your father at the head of the corporation, that I would be the First Lady of D.I.D. But no, you had to do what you 'loved', you had to 'earn' your chair on the board, travelling around the world to every sinister place where a new investment would take you. You made me waste my time William, at least he knows what I want."
William's looked at her with resentfulness. "With my own money? Pleasing you with a credit card that I pay?"
"And what are you going to do?" She laughed. "Nothing, you are such a coward. You are so in love with me that it took you 4 months to realize I had another man. You are so afraid to tell your father that he was right about me, that you will remained married so you don't have to face him."
William's heart broke into pieces. "You are wrong. I'm filing for a divorce tomorrow. It's over. I'm moving out of the penthouse until it's done. My lawyer will contact yours for the arrangement. Have a good life, Caroline. Let's see if your G lover is still there when he knows that you can't support him any more."
He walked out of the apartment and closed the door behind him.
Half an hour later, William Darcy was sitting in his father's library, with his head on his hands.
"You were right, dad. She was using me. She never loved me. You were right all this time."
"Now, son, tell me what happened."
Elizabeth returned from the fields and stopped by the lab before going home. She was tired, dirty, and in love. With a dreamy smile, she checked her calls expecting to hear William's voice in her voicemail but no messages from him. Perhaps he was too busy today. Then she dialed Emma only to be informed that he was already gone. She thought about calling him that night at his house, but as he didn't mention if he wanted their relationship to be known now, she dismissed the idea. She sighed and went home.
On the following morning Elizabeth called him as soon as she arrived at office but he couldn't take the call. She tried a couple of times before leaving, but once again he was 'busy'.
If he wants to talk to me, he will have to call. Then I'll play hard to get.
But he didn't call. He didn't call that day. He didn't call the day after. Now her anger turned into a different feeling. She felt used, dismissed, empty. Why? Why was this happening to her again?
Elizabeth was heartbroken but she tried not to make it evident. She began to work long hours in her lab and hardly talked or laughed. Jane became worried and began to ask questions so she forced herself to be cheerful when in company and continued with her painful struggles without sharing them with anyone.
'He never cares about the others, just about himself. He just needed me here and didn't care about ruining my career.'
Four days after the glorious weekend, George's words came to her mind. "He just needed company for the weekend and didn't care about ruining my life."
William wasn't in better shape. He was feeling guilty for begging the whole situation, miserable and ashamed for hurting her. And he missed her, so much it was almost painful. Not just physically. He missed her laugh, their conversations, the scent of her wet hair, her bright and playful eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about her but he repeated to himself over and over again that he shouldn't be with her, that he couldn't let her into his heart, that he couldn't fall in love again.
He had seen her from the distance and he was sure she wasn't well, he could feel it, and that was breaking his heart too. He knew that he needed to talk and explain to her what happened. If only she would be able to understand…
That Thursday William was unlocking the car when he saw her exiting the lab. He was about to approach her when he caught her eyes. Anger and pain. She looked him with such hate and resentfulness that made his blood run cold.
She got into her pickup and left.
William hung up the phone and gestured Charles to come into his office.
"Charles, I'm leaving on Saturday. There are some matters I must attend in London." He knew he couldn't stay there any longer, not after what happened, not after the way she looked at him. As much as it pained him, he had to leave this place.
Charles eyed him dubiously. "Right. When are you coming back?"
"I don't know. I don't think I'll be back soon, not until the next audit."
"This is very unexpected." Charles continued slowly, suspecting that something was wrong.
"Not exactly. I'd planned it this way." William didn't meet his eyes.
"You didn't say anything."
"Charles, I'm in no mood to explain to anyone about my life so I will appreciate if no one interferes," he growled.
Knowing him the way he did, Charles just sat back on his chair and waited for the catharsis to end.
William ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I'm sorry. Please, don't ask any questions. I have to go back."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? You used to trust me once." Charles's tone was soft. He wasn't offended or hurt by the outburst. He just knew how to make him let his struggles out.
William laughed silently and shook his head. "You really know how to make me feel guilty, don't you? I'm fine, Charles, there is nothing wrong with me. There's no need to worry. Harold Preston called. I must go back, and things are running well here so my presence isn't needed any more."
"Will, I know that look on your face. Remember I lived near you during that time. Just don't let it affect you so badly again."
William smiled faintly. "You are an excellent friend, Charles. Thank you. But ... I'm fine."
Charles smiled back. "Now you will be able to take the video to my family and embarrass me."
"Be assured of that." He paused. "One more favor."
"Of course."
"Keep George here, will you?" William chuckled when Charles rolled his eyes. "Just for a couple of months, please? Come on, what kind of friend are you?"
Charles laughed at William's begging face. "All right. Just a couple of months. Remember that I'm the one that has to live with him. Fortunately he is hardly at home."
"You earned your place in heaven."
Charles extended his hand over William's desk to shake his hand. "I'll miss you. You are like a brother to me."
"You too. Are you free for lunch?" William forced himself to be cheerful.
"Yes." Charles smiled. "I'll take this folder to Jane's desk and we can leave."
"I'll come with you."
They walked together to Jane's office and William's heart stopped when he saw the man that was with Elizabeth in Encarnación on Monday morning. There he was, talking to Jane, with a hand resting on her shoulder and Maria beside them, drooling on him. On seeing them approaching, Jane took his hand and walked in their direction.
"Charles, William, this is my cousin, Enrique Giardino. He came to Encarnación for a couple of days."
William forced a smile and shook his hand.
"Cousin, uh?" Charles laughed after they shook hands. "I was just about to be jealous. Are you Eduardo's brother? You two look very much alike."
"No, cousins. We Giardinos are like a plague. My father has 3 brothers and a sister-Alicia, Jane's and Elizabeth's mother. That make a total of 17 cousins, between Giardinos and Bennets."
"But you don't live in Encarnación?" Charles continued much to William's mortification.
"I came here for work and took the opportunity to say hello to the girls, I haven't seen them in a couple of years."
Jane punched him in his arm. "Yes, you didn't even come to Elizabeth's birthday! Do you know that his wife had a baby four months ago and I still don't know the child?"
"You know how difficult is to have a day off in my line of work. I only came because of a case in Misiones," Enrique answered with his Keanu Reeves smile.
"Enrique is a Sergeant of the Santo Domingo Federal Police," Jane explained. "He has been very busy since he joined the Investigations Brigade."
"Well, beautiful, I have to go. I want to be back in the city before eight or otherwise my wife will kill me. I promised her and the children that I would return home for dinner. It was very nice to meet you two."
"My pleasure." Charles shook his hand.
William muttered something unintelligible and watched him go with the dreading feeling that he had made a very bad mistake.
Chapter 22
Friday. William was leaving on the next day. He didn't want Charles to make the 6 hour drive to the airport and endure the questioning about his actual mood so he asked someone from the plant to take him and bring the Rover back.
He didn't feel good about leaving this way-in fact, he felt awful. He would be running away like a coward if he left without an explanation. And he wanted to see her, badly. But what kind of explanation could he give her? That he panicked when he saw her embracing her cousin? That he didn't want to feel vulnerable and that he couldn't go on with their relationship? It might sound stupid for her, but it was very reasonable for him. Elizabeth was a clever girl and would comprehend. Perhaps they could work things out and be friends again. Did he want to be her friend?
No matter how senseless his excuses may sound to her, he needed to explain himself; he needed to take this burden from his chest.
The light of the lab was visible from his office. She was still there, working. Everyone was gone and they wouldn't be disturbed. He would divulge his reasons to her and she would understand. At least he hoped she would.
Hoping she wouldn't push him away, William entered the lab without knocking. Elizabeth turned at the sound of someone coming in. When she realized that the man she wanted to erase from her memory was approaching her, she turned her back to him.
"What do you want?" she said with controlled coldness.
"I think we should talk."
"No. We shouldn't. Leave me alone."
William ran his hand through his hair in frustration. For his own peace of mind he needed to explain himself. "Elizabeth, please, listen to me. I can explain what happened."
"I don't want to hear your excuses, and I don't care about your reasons, William," she said with her back to him.
"Liz." He saw her tense at the affectionate use of her name. "I never meant it to finish this way. I never thought that this would happen, I never considered ..."
"My feelings?" She shook her head. "You were so involved in satisfying your cravings that you didn't even stop to think I could be hurt in the process, did you?"
"It wasn't that way."
"Oh no, and how was it?" She turned around.
"I ... I needed ..." He faltered. Now that he had her right in front of him all the excuses he had elaborated in his own defense were completely vain. Perhaps they could make a new start. "I know I acted wrong and I apologize."
"So it's just that, you jump into my life, make me get involved with you and then say you made a mistake. Is that what I was to you, a mistake?"
"Elizabeth, be reasonable. Nothing happened that wouldn't have happened between two adults. I think you are making this bigger than it really is. It wasn't that serious, just because I didn't call you ...."
"Of course. Fashionable people like you screw women like me when they are in need of a diversion, don't they? That's what I was, a diversion." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
"Don't twist my words, Elizabeth, I came here to clarify things. I know I should have called ..." He was becoming annoyed.
"Things are pretty clear to me. You needed someone to shag and did not want to share little Lydia with your friend George. You are just like him, William. No, you are even worse. At least he didn't make her believe she was anything more than a chambermaid! You pretended to be interested just because you wanted a good time."
"You don't know what you are saying."
"You used me, William, like you use everyone around you!" she cried bitterly. "It's very easy for you to screw someone for a whole weekend and then pretend it didn't happen!"
William knew she had the right to be angry and he tried to keep his temperament in check. "Elizabeth, don't be silly, you couldn't expect me to profess undying love. That wouldn't be honest on my part."
"No, William, I just expected you to answer my calls and dismiss me face to face. That would have been honest on your part. You just spend the whole weekend making love to me and on Monday you forgot about everything. What kind of cold hearted bastard are you?"
"As far as I remember no one forced you to do anything."
Elizabeth laughed sarcastically. "Of course not. I was a willing participant! I told you to stop and you continued, I told you not to play with my feelings and you didn't ever care about them! You were so intent on satisfying your 'manly urges' that you just simply forgot I was a person with emotions!" Her voice acquired a higher tone.
"Goodness Elizabeth, you are behaving like a child!" he said angrily. "Don't you understand? That day I …"
"That day, huh?" She didn't allow him to finish and continued with her fiery attack, "Just that day? Then why did you ask me to stay? Why did you make me open my heart and trust you with things that I never told to another living soul? You used me, like you use everyone!"
Now he was becoming offended. "You don't know anything about life, Elizabeth. You are far too immersed in this small cocoon of yours, hiding from the world behind your trees, to know what feelings are made of. You don't have the slightest idea of what a relationship is because you never had one!" He began to pace and then stopped in front of her. "Do you know how it really feels to be used, to be betrayed? How it is when the person you think you trust and love destroys your soul? You were heart broken because a kid left you, because a man didn't answer your calls three days later? Grow up, Elizabeth!"
Elizabeth's voice was low and even. "I may not know about life the way you do because I happen to choose better company. This cocoon, as you call it, has prevented me to be exposed to selfish bastards like you. If you choose to live in a rotten world, William, it's your decision and not mine. But at least I have integrity and respect the feelings of others. I offered you my friendship and you abused it, I offered you my love and you destroyed it." Her eyes were filling with furious tears. "I never asked you to kiss me, I didn't ask you to make love to me and certainly didn't ask you to stay the weekend with me. You used me and dismissed me because you are unable to behave like a real man. You are a damn coward, William, the most selfish and unfeeling coward I ever met. But at least one good thing came from all this." She paused to inhale deeply. "That any kind of affection I could have for you is now vanished, that the …" she was about to say love but didn't find him worthy of that feeling, "… regard I thought I had for you is now replaced with total repulsion and disdain. So get out of my sight and of my life, William Darcy, go back to that dirty first class world of yours and don't you dare come near to me ever again!"
William swallowed. "All right Elizabeth, I will respect your wishes. Please forgive me for importuning you today. I am leaving tomorrow so you will not have to endure my proximity any longer. Goodbye."
He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Still shaking inwardly, he leaned against it and lowered his head, trying to put some order to the turmoil of emotions that were invading his tortured soul. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the door as the fog that had followed him since the day he met her cleared out and he faced his true feelings for the first time.
He loved her. He had loved her from the beginning. There was no escape from that feeling now. But now it was too late.
Chapter 23
William fastened his seat belt and closed his eyes. He had screwed up everything, badly. He fell in love with the most wonderful woman in the world and deliberately ruined every chance he could have with her.
God, he had been so selfish. She was right about everything she said. He was nothing else than an egoistic coward. He almost took her by force that day. Though he knew she wanted him as badly as he did her, she had warned him and he didn't listen. He loved her and wanted her so he insisted until she surrendered. He assumed that because she was 28 years old she had the same experience and lack of scruples that the women that moved in his circles. And he hated them. They were women that will go to bed with a man just to pass the time. Wives that betrayed their husbands for a new experience. He suffered that in his own flesh.
He was a hypocrite. He had done exactly the opposite of what he had preached. He had told Charles to be careful with Jane, not to mess up with her and he did exactly the opposite with her sister.
And he had been afraid. Afraid that she would manipulate him, of being happy again, afraid that she could leave him and hurt him. But, why did he think all that? Elizabeth had always been sincere, generous, supportive and wonderful towards him. She accepted him from the beginning; she had given herself to him openly, without restraint, as a friend, as a companion, as a lover. Why did he have to be so stupid and blind?
The plane began to move and he saw how the beautifully green landscape that had welcomed him three months ago remained behind. He lost her. He had lost his chance of happiness.
He closed his eyes and cried.
After William's departure, Elizabeth went ahead with her life, trees and loneliness.
She loved him. There was no denying it.
As the initial anger subsided and she faced what happened from the distance, she realized that she expected too much from him, too much from everything. He had never promised anything to her that weekend, not even to call her. And she accepted the rules. They didn't talk about the future, he never mentioned a relationship, but she expected one, she wanted one. And she didn't give him enough time either. She was offended because he didn't call her right away. Not three days after they parted she was ready to kill him. A man in love would have called but, what if William was different? What did she know about men in love if she had never been with one? Who said that William was in love?
She went to his house knowing he was alone and fully aware that he was attracted to her. She discovered that when they just met, she confirmed it when they rode to la Serena and then at her birthday party, she felt him tremble when she embraced him, she felt his lips brush her ear. She was conscious that he was holding back, and that Saturday afternoon he didn't hold back any more, he was direct, seductive, overwhelming. He was devouring her with his eyes and she remained there, wanting to be eaten. Though she had told him the opposite, she wanted to stay and love him.
But something was still puzzling her. In spite of what had happened, he had showed her that he could be very tender, loving and caring, as a friend and as a lover. She smiled when she recalled when he helped her with the gnocchi, how they chatted when they rode on horseback, his intense eyes whenever he looked at her. Now she realized that she didn't ask him anything, she didn't know anything about his life, about himself, about how he felt and what he wanted. The night when they watched the game at the farm came to her. Something was wrong with him that night, something that affected him deeply. It wasn't tiredness, it was something else, something related to the sadness that followed him everywhere, the sorrow that only left him that wonderful weekend.
Why is life so difficult?
She sighed deeply. "I'm sure something happened to him, but now I will never find out."
"Liz? Are you in there?" Jane asked from the lab's door.
"Yes, Jane."
"Don't you remember we are dining at Charles's?"
"I'm sorry, I forgot." She rose from her chair and walked towards the door. "I'm going to get changed."
"I'm on the phone, come in," Charles greeted them hastily and ran to continue his call.
"It's OK Charles," Jane answered. "I'm leaving this in the kitchen."
Charles ran his hand through his hair nervously. "Listen, Caroline, that issue with William is over and I don't think you should mess with him any further. You obtained a very good settlement after the trial and I don't understand why you want to open those wounds again. It was painful enough at the time, so please let him live his life in peace."
Elizabeth was astonished with Charles's expression, she had never seen him so put out.
"Are you crazy? Then reduce your expenses! Do you know how many families can live with that amount?" He paused and calmed down. "Caro, dear, why don't you move into a smaller apartment? You don't need four bedrooms." Charles smiled for the first time, though with a hint of exasperation. "I don't know. I think I'll travel in about four months." He paused and looked up to Jane's direction. "Yes, with Jane. I want the family to meet her before the wedding." He smiled and shook his head. "No, here, we'll marry here, no matter how much you or Louisa insist." He laughed softly. "Yes, I do. Take care and please forget about William. Bye."
Charles hung up the phone and gave Jane a noisy kiss. "Forgive me about that, but my sister sometimes can make me lose my temper."
"No, it's fine," Elizabeth answered, puzzled by the way William was included in the conversation. "You seem a little upset."
"To tell you the truth, I am. I am worried about William, and this thing Caroline is plotting can make things worse. I hope she forgets the whole idea."
"What happened?" Jane asked as she took his hand.
"Something happened to William?" Elizabeth now was concerned.
"I don't know. I thought he was over that, but it seems he isn't."
"I don't understand." Elizabeth now was curious.
"They divorced two years ago, and that wasn't a pleasant experience for him. I can't tell you much about it, Caroline is my sister and William is like a brother to me."
"I didn't know William was divorced."
"William and Caroline were married some time ago. Things didn't work out and they divorced not eighteen months after the wedding. It was awful. Will is a very private and loyal man and Caroline made his life impossible during their marriage, and later during the trial." He preferred not to continue on that subject. "I can assure you that I never saw anyone suffer so much."
"And what has happened to him now?"
"I don't know for sure. We talked a couple of times on the phone after he left Santo Domingo and he didn't sound well. Despite how he might seem, William is a very sensible person and that was a tough time for him. He didn't sleep for weeks. He turned fully to his work and refused to go on with his life, until he came here. He returned to his real self when he was here." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "But enough of sad matters. I didn't invite you to talk about this." He cheered up.
"George is out?" Jane asked, looking around.
Charles rolled his eyes. "Thank God he is."
Elizabeth entered her lab after checking her orange trees. The neighbor's trees had acquired a very contagious fungus and she wanted to make sure that hers were unharmed. They were very healthy. The little oranges were growing well. She was proud of her trees.
"If the weather cooperates, I'll plant them in the final location in August."
She left the lab and went to the house. She was alone again since Jane was out with Charles that night. They were planning their wedding now and she was only a bother when she was around them. Though sometimes she felt rather lonely, she was very happy for her sister.
As she did almost every night, she changed into William's t-shirt and sat by the window. Her thoughts invariably turned to the conversation she had with Charles a week ago. She couldn't erase Charles' words about William from her mind. Private, loyal, sensible. Those were the words he used to describe him, those were the words she would use to describe him, private and wonderful. And he was suffering. Suffering because of her? He had left almost a month ago and she knew now she didn't feel resentful towards him anymore. Emotions aren't that easy to deal with; love wasn't that easy either. She was only sorry that he was too far away to know what it was.
She went to the study and turned on the computer to make some notes about the fungus and check her mail. She hadn't checked her mail in days. Shame on you, Elizabeth.
And then she saw it. An e-mail for her. From William, sent a week ago.
Elizabeth,
Be not alarmed on receiving this letter, as I won't repeat words you found so offensive during our last conversation. But I think I owe you an explanation, and though I don't expect your forgiveness, my only hope is that you will understand or at least know what happened to me at that moment.
The weekend we were together was the most marvelous time of my life. I felt so well, so loved and safe, that I couldn't conceive the rest of my days without you. But I was too stupid and blind at the time to realize it, and made the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life: denied my true feelings for you.
I don't know if I am expressing myself clearly and I'm sure that this excuse might seem vain to you, but as someone that had suffered because of a past love too, you might comprehend what vulnerability is, and I didn't want to feel vulnerable again.
I know I'm not making sense, that you don't know what I'm talking about, but if you allow me the possibility of explaining it to you, I will.
I have always been a very private and reserved person, master of my own feelings and actions, and was proud that I was not easily manipulated. But one day I met a woman, I fell in love and married her disregarding the sound advice of my family and friends. I was blind, in love. It was the first time that I allowed someone into my heart and I did it fully, completely.
Our first months of marriage were a nightmare. The sensible girl I fell in love with turned into a demanding and selfish creature that thought herself too above everything to care about anything, even her own husband. She was aggressive, selfish, and resentful. She was displeased with my work; she rejected my family and even asked me to refuse some projects that my own father asked me to lead so she wouldn't have to travel with me outside the country.
The nightmare lasted almost a year. Then, a very important project appeared and this time she encouraged me to accept it. I can't deny I was somehow relieved that I had the possibility to escape from that life, and I didn't suspect something was wrong. Now that I look back, I realize that I wished rather than believed that she was changing, that we were on our way to happiness. Soon after that, she invented an excuse to move out of our bedroom. The new project was on its way and I was too involved -or didn't want- to notice what was really happening. I just wanted a plain and peaceful life with my wife and I thought I was on my way to having it. Once again I was blind.
One day I returned from a two weeks trip without announcing it. I hadn't planned it that way, but a series of circumstances prevented me from calling. I arrived to an empty house and waited for hours. She didn't come. Needless to say I was alarmed. I don't know why, but searched her bedroom and I found something. I found a man's handkerchief. I called my cousin who works in Intelligence and told to him my fears. In a quick investigation he found out that she had rented an apartment and checked her credit cards. She was supporting a lover.
She arrived on the next day and I confronted her, expecting, no, wishing her to deny everything and tell me that she loved me-but she didn't. She admitted all, to my face. She had never loved me, she married me only for money and she hated me for not wanting to join my father at the head of the corporation.
Heartbroken, I walked away and tried to forget her, but that wasn't easy either. She refused to come to an agreement and made the divorce trial public. After that, I was free, but too wounded to trust again.
But you changed all that. You offered me your friendship and your love without conditions or restraint, though I was not ready to accept it at the time. I was afraid of loving again and being hurt, and I didn't realize that I was already in love with you until I closed the door of the lab.
I know you must hate me, and that anything that happened to me in the past doesn't justify the way I hurt you. My only hope is that you will come to forgive me sometime, because God knows that I will never forgive myself, for hurting you and for losing you.
Don't close your heart to love. You are the most genuine person I ever met and you deserve to be loved and cherished. I'll be forever sorry for missing my chance.
William
Elizabeth hugged his t-shirt against her body and sobbed. Sobbed uncontrollably.
"Oh, Will, why didn't you just tell me?"
Chapter 24
May 5. Charles's birthday.
"Happy birthday!" Elizabeth jumped and embraced Charles' neck tightly. "Wow! Don't tell me you decorated all this by yourself." She pointed at the balloons hanging all around the living room.
"No, Jane helped me. In fact, it was her idea. She says that since I behave like a child sometimes I need a child's party."
"My modest and shy sister said that? It must be your influence. Jane was unable of making such an accusation before she met you." She shrugged out of her jacket.
Elizabeth walked into the house and greeted the other guests. Eduardo and about 20 other people were there.
"How's that big trip to Europe that you are planning?" Eduardo asked as he handed her a glass of white wine.
"I already have the tickets and the passport." Elizabeth grinned. "I'm leaving in ten days."
"So soon? You must be beside yourself in anxiety."
"Yes, I've been saving for this for years. I can't wait to go."
"Which countries will you visit?"
"I bought a 'package' for the first two weeks. Fourteen days, seven countries." She laughed when he shook his head. "Then I'll stay with uncle Joseph in London for ten days and tour around. I really want to see them again. I was only 12 when they moved to England."
They continued to converse about the trip until the phone rang.
"Liz! Will you pick it up for me?" Charles yelled from the kitchen. "We are taking the pizzas out of the oven."
"Hello?" She answered the phone.
"Elizabeth?" The voice on the other side of the line faltered after a moment of silence
Elizabeth's heart stopped. "William?" her voice was above a whisper.
"Yes. It's me … I … It's … good to hear you. I … hrmmm … How are you?"
"I'm fine." Her smile reached her voice. "And you? It's been a long time since I heard about you. How is London life treating you?"
William released a contented sigh at her free-from-hostility tone of voice. "As fine as it could be. I'm missing the sun and the pool but I can't complain about it, so far."
"Then I suppose you lost your tan. It really looked good on you." She was searching for topics of conversation.
William laughed softly. "Unfortunately, yes. Though I was the envy of the office for a while. There are not many people here that could sport that tan in April."
"Well, I'm losing mine. The weather is getting chilly here."
William's voice turned low. "How's everyone there?"
"Fine, we are all fine." She bit her lip.
"I … well … Elizabeth I … Did you …I'm glad to hear you are so well. (Pause) Is Charles around? I'd like to wish him happy birthday."
"He is in the kitchen, I'll call him." She paused and inhaled deeply. "Will, I never hated you. And I … I understand."
William swallowed hard and his words choked in his throat. "Thank you."
Elizabeth repressed her own tears. "I'll call Charles. Will," she paused, "it was very good to talk to you."
He sniffed slightly. "Yes. Thank you. I … it was very good to talk to you too. Bye."
She called Charles and remained near during their conversation, not wanting to be away for as long he was on the line.
Chapter 25
"Liz, darling!" Madelaine Bennet embraced her tightly. "Look at you! You are so grown up!"
"Or course she is Maddy. She was only fourteen when we last saw her."
"Twelve," Maddy corrected.
"Fourteen," Joseph insisted.
Elizabeth was looking from aunt to uncle as if watching a ping pong match.
"Twelve," she continued.
"Never mind, woman. She is here after all. Come here, muñeca. Give your uncle a very good kiss."
Elizabeth embraced him and kissed his cheek. "I was missing your fights."
Joseph pulled back and frowned. "I suppose you brought some mate, otherwise we'll send you back."
Elizabeth laughed. "I did. It has been my companion during these two weeks. You should have seen the face of the man at Customs. He thought it was marihuana!"
"Really, Joseph," Maddy interjected. "I don't know how come you threatened the poor girl that you would send her back home if she didn't bring mate. You can buy it here!"
He smiled triumphantly to his wife as he picked up Elizabeth's bags. "But it's not the same."
Elizabeth spent the first days touring around London with her aunt and pondering if she should call William to tell him she was in town. She knew she still loved him and in some ways she understood why he acted that way, but she wasn't ready to face him yet and she didn't trust her own reaction. Though in their last conversation everything seemed well, things were not totally cleared between them and she feared she could feel resentful when she saw him, or that he would and ignore her; so she decided to leave their meeting in the hands of destiny.
"Liz, what do you think if we leave the bags at your uncle's office before going to Notting Hill? That way we won't need to carry them around. He can take them home later."
"It's OK with me. Is his office far away?
"No, not too far."
The taxi took them to Docklands and parked on the lane of the impressive Canada Tower.
"This is the Canada Tower!" Elizabeth said more to herself than to her aunt.
"Yes, your uncle's office is in the 21st floor. Why the surprise?"
"D.I.D. has the main offices in this building."
"Isn't that a coincidence?" Madelaine said as they walked into the hall.
Elizabeth looked around the enormous place while they walked towards the elevators. He might be here! She stood there, anxious and nervous. One part of her wanted to see him and the other wanted to run away. With her eyes fixed on the elevator doors, she prayed that the damn thing would hurry up so she could hide inside.
A huge sigh of relief escaped her when de the doors finally opened and they walked inside the elevator. As the doors closed, Elizabeth relaxed and leaned against the wall, happy that they were the only ones in there and wishing a non-stop run to the 21st floor.
But before they were completely shut, a hand opened the doors again.
"Thanks heaven I didn't miss it!" A tall man rushed inside the elevator. "Excuse me for delaying you ladies but … Elizabeth!" William exclaimed when he raised his eyes.
"William!"
"What are you doing here?" He couldn't hide his surprise.
"I'm going to the 21st floor!" she answered quickly, eyes wide.
He looked at her, mouth open, not believing that this was really happening. "Of course," he realized the stupidity of his question. "I'm sorry, of course, we are in an elevator. I … How are you?"
She smiled. "Fine, and you?"
"Fine." His astonished expression melted into a slow smile. "It's very good to see you. You are looking very … hmmm … lovely," he continued, oblivious to the third occupant on the elevator.
"Thank you." Elizabeth gestured her aunt. "This is my aunt Madelaine, I'm visiting her for a few days."
William extended his hand. "Pleased to meet you. I'm William Darcy."
"Liz's boss, isn't it? She told me about you." Madelaine greeted him and Elizabeth shot her a look.
He blushed slightly. "Yes … well, no exactly, I was before, but … not anymore." He cleared his throat. "How long have you been here? Charles told me you were coming to Europe but I didn't know you were in London."
Don't be mad at me. "I arrived three days ago."
"Good." Why didn't you call me?
The couple looked at each other with unsure eyes, trying to guess the other's reaction to their incidental meeting. They were standing there so close, repressing the need to ask and touch as images of gnocchi, grapes, love and pain mingled past with present.
"Here we are," Maddy interrupted their dreamy state when they reached the 21st floor. "It was very nice to meet you, Mr. Darcy."
William opened his mouth to say something as Elizabeth stepped out the elevator looking at him with desperate widened eyes.
Ask me where I'm staying! Do it! Elizabeth's mind was screaming.
Ask her where she's staying! Idiot! The door will close in two seconds! William mouth was moving but no sound came out.
"Bye, Will." She stood out of the elevator, looking at him.
William's look was even more desperate. "Elizabeth I …" he swallowed and the doors closed in front of him. " ... love you."
"Lovely, eh?" Madelaine smiled knowingly. "I think he is lovely, don't you think?"
"Stop it!" Elizabeth blushed and laughed.
William insulted himself all the way up to the 32nd floor. He rushed into the office and told his secretary to get the numbers of all the offices on the 21st floor immediately. He paced like a caged animal while running his hand through his hair until he made up his mind and stormed out of the office.
"Mr. D., where are you going? You have a meeting in five minutes! I'm calling the 21st floor and they …." She saw him pass through and call the elevator.
"I thought you said you were shopping a little, but it seems you acquired the whole store from what I see."
"You know that it's impossible not to buy everything when I go shopping. And Liz found some very pretty things for her too." Madelaine said as they walked out of Joseph's office.
"Almost all the bags are yours! You …" Elizabeth froze when she saw William Darcy at the front desk, gesturing as if describing someone to the secretary. The girl looked at him oddly and pointed at their direction. William's face was washed with relief when he saw her and approached them with a grin.
"I wasn't sure I would find you. I didn't have the opportunity to ask were you were staying so I came down here to see if I …" He stopped realizing he was being rude to the others. "Hello, I'm William Darcy." He extended his hand to Joseph. "I'm a friend of Elizabeth's."
"I thought you were her boss." Joseph extended his hand.
"Well, we worked together." He smiled. "I think we have seen each other in the elevator before, sir."
Joseph smiled. "A couple of times, if I'm not wrong. Joseph Bennet, Liz's uncle. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth was still in shock from seeing him there. He was looking gorgeous in his dark suit, with his hair slightly tousled, and the dimples he rarely showed there for her to admire. And he had introduced himself as her 'friend'. Did he still consider himself her friend after all that happened between them? And he had came down here looking for her, he came after her. I wonder how many offices he tried before finding this one. He did look relieved when he saw me. Just look at him (sigh), he is so much thinner and looks so tired. I'm sure he is not sleeping or eating well and no one is taking care of him. Is that the belt I gave him? Damn! He closed his jacket. And he needs a haircut, perhaps he is working too much and he doesn't have time. I wonder if he rests at all .... When she was able to pay attention to the conversation, she realized that they were talking about her plans for the weekend.
"…a tour around the countryside. We are busy this weekend so she's taking a bus."
"I'll be happy to take you and show you around, if you like." William turned to her.
"I … I …" Elizabeth didn't know what to say. "Thank you, I'll be delighted, if you don't mind, uncle." She looked at her uncle for permission.
"You are old enough to do as you please, and this young man doesn't look dangerous."
William looked relieved. "Great, I can pick you up on Saturday and we can tour around during the weekend."
"For the weekend?" Her eyes widened.
William, you are a beast. He coughed when he realized that he was being too forward. "We can take a couple of rooms in a nice place I know in the North. I mean, if there are no objections, of course." You are safe with me, Elizabeth.
Her smile softened. "I'd like that."
The couple looked at each other with bright eyes and smiling almost in a silly way. She had accepted him so far but they still had a tough road ahead. William wasn't one to forgive himself so easily and wanted to do things properly now. He had been given a second opportunity and by not means he would waste it. He would use this time to prove he was worthy of her and try to win her heart again.
"Do you have any plans for dinner tomorrow?" William raised his eyebrows in a very cute manner. "I would like to invite you all to dine at my flat." He looked at Elizabeth and then to her aunt and uncle.
"We'll be delighted!" Maddy answered.
Elizabeth bestowed him a wide grin. "Of course, that will be nice."
"Mr. Bennet …"
"Joseph," he interrupted
William smiled. "Joseph, I must leave, I have a meeting. In fact, it began half an hour ago. Would you mind if my secretary contacts yours and they exchange all the addresses and phone numbers? I really should leave and I don't …"
"Of course, son. Liz, why don't you walk him to the elevator?" Maddie pushed her in his direction.
Elizabeth blushed deeply. "Yes." And she walked ahead of him.
William was suppressing the urge to place his hand on the small of her back so he put his hands in his pockets, something very unusual for him. The couple walked silently and waited for the elevator to come, Elizabeth looking at her feet and William looking at her.
The doors opened and the elevator was full. William hesitated and then stepped in, he turned to her, securing the door with opened arms.
"I'm very happy I found you, Elizabeth. You can't imagine how much," he said slowly.
"I'm very happy you found me, William."
;
They remained with their eyes locked in mutual understanding until someone inside the elevator coughed in annoyance and William released the door, with his gaze still fixed on hers. As soon as the door closed, William turned and faced the 10 pairs of eyes that were glaring at him with a self-satisfied smile.