Chapter 18
Elizabeth was awakened by a soft kiss on her shoulder and a sigh against her neck. She turned her head slightly and smiled sleepily.
"Have I been sleeping for long?"
William looked at her with the most tender of smiles. "I don't know, I dozed off too." He moved to see the clock on the nightstand. "It's almost seven." He rolled back to embrace her. "Not that late."
Elizabeth put her hand over his and stroked his fingers silently for a long while.
"Are you all right?" William asked gently against her hair.
She sighed. "I'm fine."
"You seem pensive, you are not regretting what had happened, are you?"
"No." She turned slightly and smiled. "Not at all. I'm not regretting anything."
"Why is that I sense that there is something else behind that sad smile?"
"It's not easy to talk about this. I don't know if you will understand."
"Why would I not understand?"
"Because you are a man, and men are different with their feelings. It's easier for men to separate their emotions from their needs." She looked away. "They can make love to someone without feeling anything for that person."
"And that's not the case with you." He smoothed her hair.
Elizabeth just shook her head.
"Are you afraid of your feelings for me?"
"I don't know. We ... we are not even dating. We are just ... friends." She paused. "I told you. I am not used to this, I haven't had a boyfriend in years. And I know myself. I commit fully with persons and things. I've been hurt in the past and I promised myself not to allow anyone into my life without being sure. But here we are."
William was overcome with a powerful need to protect her. She was so different from the women that moved in his circles, where there was no love or commitment, no respect or shame. She was pure and genuine. Though he was not able to hear it now, something inside of him was screaming that the woman that was lying in his arms was the one he had been waiting for all his life. He rolled onto his back and pulled Elizabeth very gently against him, nestling her as the fragile being she was.
"I can't promise you anything now. Just that I'm here. You are the most beautiful person I've met and I like you more than I've liked anyone in a long time. But I can't promise you anything. Not now."
Elizabeth laughed softly and shook her head. "I know, and I'm not asking anything from you. I'm aware that I should be more mature about this. After all, I'm a grown up and shouldn't see this in such a dramatic way but, as I told you, my experience in relationships is very limited."
William kissed her forehead. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Are you sure you want to hear it?"
He held her chin and moved her face to look into her eyes. "Elizabeth, I care about you. And I'm not indifferent to what you feel."
Elizabeth laid her head on his shoulder again. "You will think I'm naive. That was too long ago."
"Why don't you try?"
She smiled. "You asked for it." She adjusted her body around his and sighed deeply. "I fell in love with a guy long time ago. I can't say that he was a man as we were only 17 at the time. He was my high-school boyfriend since I was 15." William raised his eyebrows and she chuckled. "It was very platonic, if you understand what I mean."
"I can imagine his suffering, you are an incredibly sexy woman."
Elizabeth laughed. "I suppose he suffered quite a bit. Anyway, we loved each other and he respected my wishes. Our relationship remained that way until we had to part to go to university. I was leaving to Buenos Aires and he was going to São Paulo. We were heartbroken that we had to be separated. A few days before I had to leave, I was in absolute despair about leaving my home, my family and him." It was becoming difficult for her to continue. "We met in a small plantation and, well, he asked me to marry him and promised undying love, and though we were to be separated for some time our souls would be together."
William swallowed and looked at the ceiling. He didn't know why, he now dreaded what was about to come.
"And he asked me to seal our engagement." Elizabeth voice was shaky. "I had promised that I would only give myself to the man I would marry." She stopped.
"Shhhh." William embraced her tightly and kissed her forehead. "You don't have go on if you don't want."
"No, I'm all right." She was feeling safe in his arms and she needed to take this burden from her chest once and for all. "I accepted it. I agreed to do it. We were engaged and in love or so we thought at the time. After all we were only kids."
William smiled down to her and kissed her softly. "You were just a child. What happened to him?"
"We went to university, wrote to each other and sometimes talked on the phone. But then his letters became sporadic and he could never be reached when I called. I anticipated the winter break anxiously but he didn't come. When I arrived here, I discovered that he wasn't coming, that he took his vacations elsewhere. Someone told me he had a girlfriend at the university. I was completely heartbroken, I stopped writing and phoning and he never wrote back."
"You must have suffered a lot." William's voice mingled disgust and compassion.
"For a while, but I forced myself to forget him, and so I did. I was very angry at the time, with him for lying and at myself for trusting him. Then, as time passed, I realized that we were too young to know what we were doing. But I promised not to allow anyone into my defenses until I was sure of unconditional love. "
Now he felt awful. She had allowed him. No. He had forced her defenses until she surrendered. Don't play with my feelings, she said. Now he understood what she had meant with that, and he didn't care to listen at the time.
William's words choked in his throat. "Am I the second one?"
"Yes, you are." Elizabeth somehow sensed that she couldn't leave that burden over his shoulders. "Now, now." She stroked his chest. "I grew up since then. I know that I can't expect now what I wanted ten years ago. That was a child's dream and what happened is irreversible. As you said, we are grown ups. And I cannot ask a man of 32 to behave like a child of 17."
"You never dated anyone after that?"
"Not at Uni. It was too recent, I was in a foreign country and didn't trust anyone. When I returned I began to work with my father and dated someone a couple of times, nothing serious; movie, dinner, that kind of thing, not even a kiss. And after that, well, you know this place, it is as small as a bean. Do you know what the marrying prospects here are?"
William laughed. "I guess I have an idea."
Elizabeth laughed too. "Don't think I'm pretentious. Everyone my age is already married, or engaged, or separated or has left, and the possibilities of finding someone interesting are very limited. Then came this job and the lab and … here I am.
"Thank God you are here!" William stroked her back energetically and gave her a noisy kiss.
"William. Just one more thing."
"What?"
"I'm hungry."
He laughed aloud in a way he hadn't laughed in years. It was a deep and contagious laugh that embraced her with warmth. "Me too. But I don't think we can find anything in the fridge. Maybe we can order something."
Elizabeth raised her eyebrow. "You are not serious. We are in Encarnación, don't you remember? You surprise me, we are 3 kilometers away from the village."
"I get the point." He put his finger on her nose.
"I am really, really starving. I can turn very violent when I'm famished. I might bite you if I don't get something into my stomach soon," she said seriously.
William smiled wickedly. "Try."
She caught his hand and bit him.
"Ouch!"
"I told you."
"We can try to cook something. I think there is some macaroni or something we could boil in the kitchen."
Elizabeth made a movement to raise from the bed. "I'll go and see what can I find."
As soon as she turned, he grabbed her arm and bit it.
"Ouch!" she cried.
"I told you I was hungry." He grinned and pulled her back to the bed. "And I think I've found my dinner."
Chapter 19
Elizabeth was preparing the sauce for the macaroni when William appeared in the kitchen after a shower, dressed only in a fitting pair of jeans. As soon as she heard him coming, she turned and gave him a bright smile before continuing with her cooking. William stood behind her, encircled her waist, and kissed her hair.
"Mmmm, that smells really good. You are a great cook, do you know that?"
"I know." She tilted her head to the side to allow him better access to her neck and he kissed her slowly from ear to shoulder. "This is almost ready. Do you have any wine? It will be excellent with the pasta."
He moved his head reluctantly to look over her head into the cabinets, opening them with one hand while the other remained on her waist, with no intention of releasing her. Elizabeth chuckled at his gesture.
"Here, red wine." He put the bottle on the counter and returned to his previous activities, hands on her stomach and lips and tongue teasing her neck.
Elizabeth giggled and squirmed at his tickling caresses while stirring the sauce. Then, she raised the wooden spoon to her lips, blew the boiling content and tasted it. She turned a little in his arms and offered the spoon to him.
"Try it."
William's mouth covered hers, tasting every corner. "Delicious."
William was spread out in his chair, observing with a half smile how Elizabeth washed the dishes. Completely touched by the domestic scene, he couldn't do anything else but admire the enchanting woman that was there with him, in his kitchen, barefoot and wearing his favorite t-shirt. He hadn't felt so well, so at home in years and didn't want this day to end. It was too close to perfection.
Unable to remain away from her for too long, he rose and embraced her tightly, resting his chin on her shoulder.
"Stay. Stay tonight."
Elizabeth sighed. "William, I have a house to go and a dog to feed."
His was almost begging. "We can go to your house, do whatever you need and return. Or we could stay there, if you prefer."
She put her hand on his cheek and asked in a soft voice. "You don't want to be alone?"
William shook his head and kissed her palm. "I want to be with you."
G*d, please make this last forever. "All right."
They went to Elizabeth's house in her pickup. She fed the dog, checked her lab and watered the plants, as it had not rained the whole week. William helped her to prepare a small basket with fruit and some food for the next day and she went upstairs to take a quick shower and change while William remained in the living room. She removed his t-shirt and the jeans she was wearing and changed into a clean sleeveless shirt and linen trousers. They decided not to stay at her house because her bed was too narrow for both of them and the idea of sleeping separated or lying two mattresses on the floor wasn't very appealing.
Once at his house, they cuddled on the couch watching a late night movie on TV while eating some grapes they brought from her house. Elizabeth was nestled under William's arm as she watched TV without interest, so comfortable that she didn't want to move an inch from such a sublime position.
"Where are your seeds?" William tilted his head to look at her.
"Seeds?"
"Yes. Seeds."
"Be more specific." She took another grape.
"We are eating grapes. Those are my seeds and now that I notice you are not spitting yours."
"No."
"No?" He smiled as he heard how the grape crunched in her mouth.
"No."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"That I don't spit out the seeds, I swallow them."
"You swallow them? Don't you know the dangers of swallowing the seeds of the fruits?" he asked, amazed.
"Yes, I know. A plant may grow in my stomach and if the branches are too long and come out through my nose and my mouth, I might die. My mother told me that crap when I was a child." She took another grape and William heard how she exploded it noisily inside her mouth.
William chuckled. "I don't want to be with a woman that has leaves coming out through her ears, so I would prefer if you spit the seeds out."
Elizabeth didn't have the intention to move from where she laid so she spitted forcefully the seeds into the plate on his leg. Obviously she missed the shot.
William laughed. "You are such a savage."
She picked another grape. "I know. You haven't seen the half of it."
William put his hand under her chin and she spitted the seeds in it. She was about to pick another grape when he caught her hand.
"Enough of fruit," he said hoarsely.
Elizabeth raised her head and was struck by the passion in his eyes. He moved his arms from around her and pulled her back so she was lying on the couch. After removing the plate from his lap, he leaned his body over hers and covered her mouth in a long and sweet grape-flavored kiss.
Leaning on his elbows, he moved his lips all along her jaw line, and then down her neck. Sighing deeply, Elizabeth closed her eyes and caressed his hair in total bliss. Now without the voracious need of their previous encounters, William unbuttoned her shirt and nuzzled and kissed every fraction of her chest, brushing the softness of her skin, watching how it tingled under his touch. Pausing only to admire the beauty that lay within his arms, he descended fully over her breasts, capturing her hardened nipples into his mouth.
Elizabeth just lay there, too overwhelmed by his caresses and her emotions, allowing him to love her the way he wanted, as her reaction to his touch showed in every portion of skin. His breath was burning her and his hands aroused her with such precision that the pleasure became almost unbearable. But his discovery didn't stop there. Maneuvering his body to have better access, he kissed her waist and the navel that had fascinated him from the beginning, while his fingers undid the buttons of her trousers and gently pulled them down. She tensed up in anticipation as she felt his mouth moving over her underwear and was unable to repress a gasp when she felt the rough skin of his chin grazing her inner thighs and separating her legs. No man had ever done this to her and it was too much to bear without reacting. She arched her back and her hands instinctively reached for his head, trying to move him away.
"Let me love you, Elizabeth."
That gentle command was all she needed to surrender to him completely. She bit her lip to control her gasps when his hands began to remove her underwear, building an unusual tension as his breath reached places that no one had kissed. A sudden shock coursed her body when William's mouth finally tasted her. She cried aloud and her whole body reacted involuntarily, arching, rocking and holding him against her. Leaving his own pleasure aside, he intensified his rhythm until her gasps and moans told him she was reaching the point where he wanted to take her. Her climax was so intense that was almost painful, her convulsions so violent that they made her shudder, and her release so strong that it left her exhausted.
William raised his head and looked at her, flames of desire burning inside him. He removed his clothes hastily and joined his body with hers, hearts touching, mouths kissing, and breath mixing in a loving frenzy that united their very souls. He had never felt so close to another human being, he had never loved anyone as he loved her. Loved? But soon he drowned in the fog of his own passion and as he sensed her reaching her peak, he came with her, giving himself as he never did, feeling complete for the first time.
Chests heaving, flesh pulsing, they struggled to return to reality as their bodies slowly recovered from such overwhelming release. William's limp body rested over hers, face buried in her hair, so lovingly contained within her arms and legs that that was the only place where he wanted to be. After a long pause he raised his head and smoothed the hair from her face and they smiled and exchanged tiny soft kisses, remaining one for as long as they could, wishing that moment would never come to an end.
It was nearly mid morning when William opened his eyes, awakened by the soft touch of the woman lying by his side. This was a sensation he had not lived in a long time and it felt simply fantastic. He turned his face in her direction and looked at her with sleepy eyes.
"Good morning."
"Good morning." She smiled.
He rolled on his side and embraced her. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"You were sleeping so peacefully that I couldn't."
"Have you been awake for long?"
"A while, I tried to get up, but you wouldn't let me."
He smiled and frowned at the same time. "I guess you are the remedy for my insomnia, I haven't slept so well in months."
Elizabeth looked down, trying not to read too much into his words.
William raised her chin and looked at her with tender eyes. "You are beautiful. You don't have any idea of what you are doing to me."
She held his gaze. You don't know how much I love you.
William's lips descended to hers and he took her mouth in a long and sweet kiss. He rolled over her and loved her slowly, taking delight in every expression, every gasp, every kiss. Their bodies moved rhythmically, dancing at their own tempo, eyes locked, legs entangled, breath labored until they exploded together, silently professing a feeling that one wasn't ready to admit yet and that the other wasn't ready to confess.
"What are you looking for?" William gently patted her bottom while she was bent over looking for something in the lower cabinets.
"Mate, don't you have any?" She rose to kiss him.
"I think there is something like that over here." He reached over her head. "Here. Doña Mirta brought it when she worked here."
"Thank G*d, I can't start my day without it." She took it from his hands and began to prepare it.
William eyed her dubiously. "I've seen everyone at the office drinking that during the whole day. Is it good?"
"That?" She laughed. "You never tried it? If you leave this place without drinking a mate you will miss one of the delights of life." She poured some hot water into the mate and handed it to him. "Drink it."
William took it and looked into the gourd. After shooting a quick glance in her direction, he tasted it. "It's different, but good."
She smiled brightly. "I told you."
She took the mate from his hand and, kettle in hand, they walked to the garden. They spent the rest of the morning by the pool, drinking mate and talking, enjoying each other's company until it was time for lunch. As William didn't want her to cook again, they made some sandwiches and ate under the shadow of a large tree with their bodies closely entwined.
William was resting his back on the trunk of the tree and Elizabeth was sitting between his legs, lying on his chest, listening to the CD she brought from home. In absolute bliss, she released a heavy and content sigh.
I wish this would never end.
"Comfortable?" William asked close to her ear.
"Mmmmmh," she purred while her feet moved with the music.
William smiled. It was amazing, but she was never completely still, she was always moving something. "You are an exceptional dancer. Where did you learn to move that way?"
"I'm a natural," she said and giggled when he tickled her stomach. "No, I'm serious, I inherited it from my mother. You saw her at the party. You are a pretty good dancer too, you just need to learn to relax."
William tilted his head to look at her. "Relax?"
"Yes, go with the music, feel it. You are 'restrained' when you dance."
"Well," he tried to justify his actions, "that day I wasn't feeling at all comfortable. It wasn't the kind of music I'm used to and I ..."
"When was the last time you 'really' danced? But I mean really, really let yourself go with the music?"
William frowned and tried to remember. "At school, I think I was around 17." He chuckled. "If I'm not wrong, I was drunk and ended the night throwing up in my friend's car."
Elizabeth laughed. "And you never danced again?"
"Of course I did, but not in that way. To be honest, I made quite a spectacle of myself, as I was told later. My social life is mundane, you know. Just business parties and family affairs. In fact, I'm quite dull."
Elizabeth turned in his arms and cupped his cheeks. "You are not dull," she said tenderly and kissed his cheek. "You are a great and wonderful person. You just need someone to cheer you up." She rose and pulled him up. "Come, I'll teach you how to dance salsa."
William looked around in embarrassment. "Here? We are in the middle of the garden ..."
"William!" she cried. "I can't believe it! You really need to learn how to enjoy yourself. Give me your hands, I'll show you."
She took his hands and began to move with the rhythm of the music. William was feeling completely stupid and was unable to relax. But she did not desist and showed him the basic steps. Ten minutes later they were laughing and dancing salsa under the shadow of a tree.
William put his hands on her hips as they swung sensuously against each other. "You are incredible. I never thought I would dance salsa in a garden in the middle of the afternoon."
"That's because you have little imagination," she said under her lashes.
In a swift movement, he leaned her back over his thigh. "I have imagination," he said defiantly.
"I don't think so," she said cheekily and tried to free herself from his grip.
William tightened his hold. "Are you challenging me?"
She nodded with an impertinent smile.
William dropped himself on the ground and pulled her over him. "I'll show what other things can be done in a garden." He engaged her mouth in a long and hungry kiss.
"William ..." Elizabeth moved a lock from his forehead, trying to wake him up.
"Mmmmh." He took her hand and didn't move from his position, lying on the couch with his head on her lap.
"Will, I think I should go. It's almost six and Charles and Jane will arrive in no time."
"No. They'll arrive around 9, Charles told me that." He kissed her palm and responded without opening his eyes.
She tried to move but he stopped her.
"Please, William, I should go. George will come soon and I don't want him, or anyone, to find us like this. There will be gossip and ..."
William rose and tried to put some order in his hair. "You are right." He kissed her lips softly. "I'll walk you to your car."
After picking up the basket and her stuff, hand in hand, they walked to the pickup. Silently, he opened the door for her and closed it as she sat behind the wheel.
Elizabeth looked at him with unsure eyes. What now, William?
He leaned down and kissed her one more time. "Take care. Goodbye."
William was lying on his bed that night, all by himself. He heard the Charles' and George's tales about the weekend without paying attention, his mind too engaged in the memories of this day to register any other thing. Why couldn't he feel completely right about what happened? Why this enormous sense of emptiness that was consuming him?
Vulnerability. He was in serious danger of falling in love with her, that was the reason of his uneasiness, his fear. William Darcy had suffered too much because of a woman to allow it to happen again. Love was completely out of the question. He had promised himself he wouldn't permit it, never. His reasonable mind was telling him that Elizabeth was different, that she wouldn't hurt him like Caroline did, but his heart was too wounded and insecure to admit it.
He had to be careful.
Chapter 20
"William, are you feeling all right?" Charles asked that morning when he saw William's haggard expression.
"Yes. I just had some trouble falling asleep," he lied. He had been awake all night through.
Charles knew his friend well enough to know that something was going on. He had seen that look on William's face before and became worried. But he also knew that William was not someone who shared his problems so he just tried to make things easy for him and be there if he needed some support.
"We have a meeting with the legal department at 8.30. It will be better if we are there early, I'll send someone to pick up George later."
"Great, I'm in no mood to share the air with him."
"William ..." Emma followed as he walked inside the office. "The legal team is already here. Remember that you have that meeting with the Mayor at 10:00 about that matter of the freeway." She pointed at his casual attire.
"Oh no, I forgot. I'll go to the house to change as soon as I finish this meeting and go directly from there."
"Oh, and Elizabeth Bennet called. Do you want to talk to her before the meeting?"
"No. Later. I'll tell you when."
Elizabeth had been anxious to see William since she arrived. Knowing he would be present at Monday meeting, she had dressed carefully, wanting to look pretty just for him. But he didn't show up. Of course that he was the head of the company and he had the right to do as he pleased, but she was somehow disappointed in not seeing him that morning. As she had to stay the whole day in the field supervising the transplant, she wouldn't be able to call or see him until her return.
What's the point of dressing pretty if I have to go and change again?
"Liz." Maria stopped her as she left the conference room.
"Yes?"
"Are you going to the western fields?"
"Yes. I have to change first but I have a bag with jeans and boots in the lab. Do you need something?"
"I need a favor. Is the meeting over?"
"It ended earlier. What can I do for you?"
"I brought my brother's keys by mistake and he needs them to open the store. Would you take them for me? I can't leave right now and he is furious."
Elizabeth smiled. "No problem. I'll go directly and change in the pickup later."
Maria kissed her cheek and put the keys in her hand. "You are a treasure."
The breakfast with the legal team finished over an hour ago and now William was running late for his meeting with the Mayor. He had to rush and change if he didn't want to miss it. As they were working on improving the condition of the freeway and it was partially closed, the trucks fully loaded with trees were crossing Encarnación, causing chaos in the transit and producing great damage in the streets. Though they had the support of the Administration -after all, they had made enormous contributions to the local politicians- it seemed that the enraged neighbors wanted to build barricades to impede the passing of the trucks and then they would have problems in supplying the plant.
William opened the door of the house and froze when he heard the moans of a couple having sex in the upper floor.
"I can't believe it!" he whispered.
Completely astonished, he stood there, not knowing what to do. God! She screams like a dog!
It was disgusting. Unable to listen any longer to what sounded like the audio of a porno movie, he slammed the door forcefully to announce his presence. A deep silence was followed by hurried footsteps over the wooden floor.
William smiled. Coitus interruptus. What an unpleasant sensation.
"George, are you at home?" he asked innocently.
"I ... I'm almost ready."
William climbed the stairs and found Lydia pretending to clean Charles' room while adjusting her clothes. "Good morning, Lydia, tough day?" he said in Spanish.
"Good morning, Señor," she said hurriedly while she finished buttoning her shirt.
"William, what a surprise." George came out from the bathroom. "You shouldn't bother to come and pick me up yourself."
"No, you are right. I had to change. I have a meeting with the Mayor. Someone will pick you up in a while."
"Fine." George smiled.
William changed hastily and left. As soon as William closed the door and George heard the car starting, he grabbed Lydia by the arm and pushed her over bed, facing the covers while unbuttoning his trousers.
"I think we have some matters to finish yet."
William reached the City Hall 10 minutes late. He wanted to talk to the Mayor before the neighbors arrived to set a coordinated strategy to appease them, but some of them were already there so he had to wait before he could join them.
Pacing the foyer impatiently, he walked to the window and looked out. It was true. Now that he could see it from the first floor, the main street resembled a battlefield more than a town road. He could see a huge truck coming down the street, trying to avoid the holes in it, and breaking and accelerating noisily whenever it stopped or moved on. Behind it came a furious driver and on one side of the street an old lady was shaking her walking stick because the truck was blocking her way.
"This will be a long morning."
Suddenly he caught sight of a familiar vehicle. It was Elizabeth's pickup. She waited for the truck to pass and parked in front of a store on the main street. God, she was looking beautiful. There was a young man waiting there, it seems that he was waiting for her. She descended from the pickup and he gave her a very effusive kiss on her cheek. She gave him something and then continued to converse in front of the store. William didn't like it very much but she wasn't doing anything wrong, and after all, she wasn't his property. He observed how they chatted for a while until another man approached her from behind. A very handsome and well build man, who was now covering her eyes, surely trying to make her guess who he was. William's stomach made a turn. The man was grinning broadly and it seemed that Elizabeth missed all the names because he was shaking his head and laughing. Then he released her and she turned around. She laughed too and embraced him. Tightly. Too tightly for William's comfort. The man gestured a coffee shop on the corner and they walked together, his arm on her shoulder and hers on his waist.
William swallowed. It was happening again.