Chapter 39
Darcy was staring blankly at the line of clothes hanging inside his closet, still undecided about what to wear on this special occasion. There was a time when he could choose proper attire without difficulty but not any more, he had grown so dependent on her that he just couldn't -or perhaps he just didn't want to- decide on one shirt over another without her help. That sounded completely ridiculous, almost degrading, but it was the absolute truth and he was very proud of it. He decided not to waste any more time and call the only person that could resolve this for him.
"Lizzy!"
There was no answer. Surely she was still inside the bathroom.
"Lizzy!" he tried louder.
"What?" her voice came from the bedroom.
"Lizzy!" he didn't move from his spot.
He heard her quick steps and smiled when she entered the dressing room. She was still in her underwear.
"What?" she spat angrily.
"Should I wear a white shirt or a blue one?" he replied rather vaguely.
Elizabeth turned to the closet and began a quick scan of his clothes. "I can't believe you made me come all this way to ask such an imbecilic question. Can't you choose your own clothes?"
There was no answer, just a lazy smile as his eyes swept her figure up and down. Black lace. He absolutely loved how she looked in black lace.
"The guests are about to arrive and I can't get dressed because Mr. Darcy can't choose a shirt to wear. How did you manage to get dressed before knowing me? You are absolutely helpless, William."
"You are looking so sexy." He grabbed her by the hips and brought her against him, showing her how little he cared about her complaints. In fact, he didn't give a damn if she was busy or in the shower, he needed a shirt and that was all.
"Helpless, lazy and spoiled." She knew perfectly well that he didn't care about what she had to say and, frankly speaking, she didn't care either. She giggled, allowing him to fondle her for a moment and escaped his hold to give him a dark blue shirt that matched with the almost black trousers he was wearing. "Here you are. Now, get dressed."
"Your mom is already downstairs?"
"She said she was going to see what the caterers were doing." Elizabeth commented on the way to the bedroom.
"That woman is a treasure."
"She is," Elizabeth smiled proudly, her mom was absolutely the best. "I don't know what would have become of me without her help. She practically organized this party on her own."
"A real treasure. Like her daughter." Darcy joined her in front of the vanity and kissed the top of her head. He then glanced at her backside, so becomingly adorned by her laced knickers. Out of pure habit, he grabbed her buttock fully in his hand and squeezed it.
Elizabeth continued to apply her make-up as if nothing had happened. She was so used to this. "I think that she should change her business and organize parties from now on. She's great at it. She never misses a detail."
"Your mother belongs in front of the cameras." Darcy sat on bed to put his socks on. "You should see the screen test she made for Appearances. She's amazing."
"Really? You didn't show me any of those yet."
"You'll see them soon. She'll have a great career, I assure you."
Carefully, Elizabeth combed her eyelashes. "I hope everything comes out right tonight, I'm so nervous."
"Calm down, Lizzy, it's just our engagement party."
"I know, but I can't help it," she sighed dramatically and her man chuckled at how she always made things bigger than they were. "I'll meet the entire Fitzwilliam and Darcy clan in one night plus a bunch of Gardiners I've seen only twice in my life. My mom, my dad and Dorothy will be under the same roof and Lydia will meet my other siblings. I hope she behaves. She was so upset when I told her that I went shopping with Virginia. She said that I never go shopping with her."
"Well, you aren't living in the same town anymore."
"You try to explain that to her."
Darcy made a face. That would certainly be a hard task. "Do you know if Georgiana is coming with … what was his name?"
"Eric. Yes, she said she would bring him along. " Elizabeth half smiled. Her man had not swallowed that one yet. Today was the great meeting, Georgiana was all anxiety about it and Darcy all feigned indifference. "Did Catherine confirm if she was coming?"
It was Darcy's turn to exhale dramatically. "I don't know why you insisted in inviting her after what she and Ann did at John's party."
"She's your associate and you must be in good terms with her." Elizabeth replied casually. "I heard you two are related, too. Is that true?"
"She's the daughter of my grandmother's cousin. I guess that that makes her a sort of aunt or something."
Elizabeth's eyebrows arched up. "So Ann and you are cousins? William! You dated your cousin! Isn't that illegal?"
"No," he knitted his brows, not liking the turn that the conversation was taking. "We are cousins … in fifth or sixth degree. I don't see what's illegal about that!"
Horrified, she turned around to face him. "Maybe it's not, but it's a … perversion!"
"Don't be ridiculous, Lizzy, and it has been over for ages! And I never intend…" he stopped when he realized that he had fallen in that one, like an idiot. "Georgiana was right. You are a lizard."
Laughing, she turned towards the mirror and opened the lipstick. "And I'm dying to see Catherine's face now that she knows who my dad is. Maybe that's the reason why I insisted on inviting them tonight."
"I would have liked to see her face when she learned the news. Richard told me that it was quite a show. And speaking of your father, have you decided what you are going to do?"
Darcy, as usual, hit the sensitive spot with that question and Elizabeth, as usual, was overcome with doubt and indecision. "Oh, Will," she left the lipstick on the vanity, "I don't know. I'm not a Bennet, I would really like to change my name but I'm not sure I would want to change it to Lucas."
"Well," he smiled broadly, "you are going to change your name soon anyway."
Elizabeth lifted her eyes and met his on the reflection of the mirror. In only one month, she would be Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy. That was what she wanted most, but the possibility of changing her actual name into Lucas was making her crazy. Her father asked her if she would like to have his name, her mother started fussing around her, not complaining or opposing, but putting on that 'you-don't-love-me-anymore' face and her doubts started.
"Yes, I will, and I know that it's completely ridiculous to adopt my father's name when I'm about to get married but calling myself Elizabeth Lucas was a right that was denied to me for 28 years and I wished I could have had but no one gave me the chance, you know, and now that someone is finally considering how I feel about it, I won't be able to do so because I'll have to use your name so in the end I'll never be myself and …"
"Oh, Christ, there she goes again." Darcy held his head with his hands.
"You mock me," she huffed, "but this is a serious matter. It's much easier for you, men. You don't have to give up your identity to adopt your wife's name, you know."
He rose and joined her in front of the vanity and kissed the top of her head, adopting a non confrontational posture. They had a party to host downstairs and when she started, it was impossible to make her stop.
"You are right, darling. I'll change my name into yours. Just tell me which one you will choose, will you?"
That was absolutely ridiculous and she had to laugh at the suggestion. "You are crazy."
"That's why you love me." He waggled his eyebrows.
She lifted her face to his and received a quick kiss on the lips. "Do you think my father would feel slighted if I don't adopt his name?"
So this was all about. "Elizabeth, stop torturing yourself about what the others might feel or not. John is a reasonable person, he'll understand. Now, lassie," he patted her butt, "get dressed. You are still in your underwear."
Elizabeth gasped aloud when she saw the time. "I can't believe it's this late!"
"I'll be downstairs." He walked towards the door. And with a rakish smile, he added, "Just try to be ready before midnight, will you?"
Like in its years of splendor, when the most elegant balls and gatherings took place, Pemberley manor found itself full of lights and life and guests. The house looked so brilliant, so beautiful. The rooms were adorned with bouquets of flowers and an imposing buffet was set up in the center of what once had been a ball room, bringing the big salon back into life again.
One by one, the guests arrived and the party began. That night, Elizabeth had the opportunity of meeting her fiancée's relations. The Fitzwilliams, the fairer side of the family, from whom Georgiana inherited her almond colored hair and gray eyes and several aunts and uncles and cousins from the Darcy side.
The party was beginning to warm up when Sir John Lucas made his appearance. He was a spontaneous, effusive man and his presence was noticed as soon as he entered the room. Side by side with his wife and youngest daughter, he congratulated the hosts with a vigorous shake of Darcy's hand and hug that crushed Elizabeth against his belly and lifted her from the ground. The moment turned surreal when Amanda and Dorothy exchanged pleasantries. They were ladies, both equally gifted with innate charm and good humor, and they conversed animatedly for a while, as if the past had never happened, showing off their superior social skills and helping a lot to restore Elizabeth's peace of mind.
The Gardiners came too, Edward and Maddy wouldn't miss this for any reason, and what really pleased Elizabeth was that her aunt Ofelia, Amanda's elder sister, had come to see her sister after more than twenty years of separation. Was this only because she was marrying someone rich and famous and 'respectable'? Were all resentments left behind now that things had changed for the best? Elizabeth would never know for sure, maybe they were, maybe they weren't, they both had things to regret and to forgive, what mattered now was that she came, that her mother was sincerely happy to see her sister and that she was having the chance to celebrate this event with a family she practically didn't know.
"Who's that woman over there, Lizzy?" Amanda discreetly pointed at a woman on the other end of the salon.
"That's … I forgot her name, but she's William's aunt. His father's sister."
"Very elegant. That dress is fabulous." That statement was accompanied by a slight raise of her eyebrows.
"You have to be that tall to show it like that, too."
"All the Darcys are quite tall, from what I've seen. I liked Richard's family, too, they are all so nice. Love the way they talk."
"You've always had something for Scottish accents, mom." Elizabeth commented while her eyes scanned the buffet in search of a canapé. "Mmmmm, this is delicious. You really did a great job in organizing this party, mom. I can't thank you enough, so says William."
Amanda glowed at the compliment. "You were too busy with everything else to take care of this. I really enjoyed doing this for you."
"So how do you feel now that you finally met Dorothy?" Jane interjected.
"I must confess that I was a little nervous when I first saw them coming in, but everything came out fine. She is very agreeable." And in a more cynic tone, Amanda added. "If everyone was expecting a great scene, we didn't oblige. I can't stop thinking that I obtained the best part in this. After all, her husband married her while being in love with someone else. I wouldn't wish that for me."
"Look at Lydia," Elizabeth pointed at her sister who was entranced in conversation with her other sister. "She and Virginia seem to be getting along quite well."
"I don't know," Amanda didn't sound pleased with her second daughter. "It's almost impossible to guess what she's really thinking."
"Why, is she's still giving you a hard time?" asked Jane.
"Sometimes she's the nicest girl, sometimes she behaves as if she were above us all. The other day she helped me to clean the kitchen and on the following one she went to a party and returned home so drunk that she couldn't stand on her own."
"We've all been through that once, Mandy, hopefully it's just a phase."
"Yes, maybe. She was very enthusiastic about coming this weekend, it's a good sign, isn't it?"
"Surely it is," said Jane with a kind smile.
"I'll try to talk to her during the weekend, mom," Elizabeth offered. "Maybe I'll find out what's wrong with her."
"Oh, yes, dear, you should try." the elder woman sighed. "Hopefully she'll open up with you."
"Jane, what did you do to recover your figure so quickly?" Elizabeth turned to her friend.
Jane rolled her eyes. "I didn't. I'm wearing a corset. I didn't gain too much weight during the pregnancy so I wasn't that fat, the problem is that everything fell apart after the birth. I'm trying to accompany Chuck when he works out, his personal trainer fixed me a routine, though you know I'm not very fond of exercising so I escape whenever I have the chance. Looking after Sophie is always a good excuse."
"I think you're looking great," Amanda's eyes swept her figure up and down. "I don't know why you must work out."
"I'm Charles Bingley's wife, Amanda, I must look gorgeous." Jane made a face. "There is always a camera pointing at us or a comment about how I look or how Charles showed special interest in his latest co-star. No matter what we do, there will always be speculations about the continuity of our marriage."
"I don't know why, you two look so happy together." said Elizabeth.
"We are, though sometimes I wish they would leave us alone. But those are the rules of show business. When they don't have news, they invent it. You are fortunate that directors aren't so exposed, Lizzy, the press can turn your life upside down."
"I already had my first encounter with the press," Elizabeth replied with a huff, "and not just because of William. I was only mentioned in an article about my father, a sort of 'the secret daughter of producer Sir John Lucas who is now the fiancée of director, William Darcy, blah, blah, blah'. Nothing too extensive or detailed about me, though it wasn't nice to read my name in a magazine. I felt as if my private life weren't mine anymore."
"You marry a movie star and you'll see what invasion is." Jane said matter-of-factly.
"And on the set?" inquired Amanda, "Did you accompany Charles during the filming of his latest movie? Is it already finished?"
"Fortunately, yes." Jane sighed dramatically. "After two months of living in hotels it was blessing to return home, if only for a few weeks until another project comes up."
"You stayed with him all the time?" cried Amanda, "The baby was so small, why didn't you stay in LA?"
Half in jest, half seriously, Jane replied, "Are you crazy? Leave my husband alone with Angelina Jolie? No way, that would be a temptation to hard to resist!"
"Darce, allow me to congratulate you on this. It's really a great party."
"Thank you, Chuck, but Mandy has all the credit. She did it all by herself."
"You really found yourself a good mother-in-law, didn't you?" Charles patted Darcy's shoulder.
"I can't complain so far." the director smiled.
"No, I can see that."
"Jane's looking well." Darcy nodded at the actor's wife, who was conversing with Elizabeth and her mother near the buffet. "And Sophie, she's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen."
"She is, isn't she?" the actor smiled dreamily. "I never imagined I would be blessed with such a beautiful family."
"You were fortunate that Jane was able to accompany you while you worked."
"I know it was hard for her, with the child so small, Sophie wasn't sleeping through the night yet and we were living in trailers and hotels. Jane was very tired, but she came, she was there for me and I can't thank her enough for that," and with a smirk, Charles added. "Though I'm sure that my co-star had a lot to do with it, too. She wanted to watch over me!"
"You partnered with a very sexy woman this time, Chuck. It wouldn't be strange that she would feel threatened by her. After all, she had a baby only four months ago."
"I know. We are both learning to handle the oddities of my profession. It's hard, you know how it is. You kiss a woman in front of the cameras, pretend that you love her and then you go to your wife and while you watch her feeding your daughter, you talk about your day as if nothing had happened, as if tongue fencing with another woman would mean nothing at all. And you know that, though she pretends that she doesn't care, she's all pissed about it and all the time she's reading in between lines, trying to find out if you enjoyed kissing one of the sexiest women on earth instead of her."
"And did you enjoy kissing someone else?" Darcy asked half seriously, half teasingly.
"Oh, come on Darce!" Charles laughed, "I love my wife, but I'm not made of stone! You must feel something if you want to be convincing. No, seriously," Charles shook his head. "It's just work. Pleasurable work, but nothing else. And how's Appearances going?" He changed the subject. "From what I heard, you are very busy with it."
"Progressing smoothly. We'll start casting dancers in a couple of weeks."
The actor replied with a simple, 'ah' to that statement. He was interested in that project, he heard different rumors about the leading man, that there was still a chance for him to play Jason, but he knew Darcy's policy of keeping things secret until final decisions were made.
The director looked pensively at his friend for a moment. He knew how much Charles wanted to be part of his movie, what a great opportunity this would be for him and decided that a little indiscretion wouldn't be bad at all. His friend deserved it. "Are you ready to return to your tap dancing lessons?"
"I never gave them up." the actor replied tentatively.
"Good, 'cause your going to need them. John didn't give me the final OK, he still thinks you are too young for the role, but I know he loved your test and that he's only playing difficult. Congratulations, you've got the role. "
"That's fabulous! When are we starting?" Charles slapped his friend's arm.
"In two months. But if you are available sooner, we can start working with the choreographers. You don't have to actually dance, you know, but there are several scenes when you show the dancers how things are done and you must look as if you master it."
"I'll speak to my agent and we'll clear things up. If you don't mind, I'd like to watch the casting of the dancers and the rehearsals so I can study the selector's attitude."
"No problem, with that." Darcy smiled at Charles' enthusiasm. "I also have a friend who is setting up a play in New York, maybe you can take a look there, too."
"That would be great. Just one last question. Who's playing Lucy? I heard a rumor, though I would prefer first hand information."
"There are many rumors circulating." Darcy replied mysteriously.
"Oh, come on! You can trust me. I won't tell anyone!" The actor laughed. "Though I'm sure that if the rumor left your circle it's because it has been unofficially spread."
Darcy's eyes glowed with mischief. Charles was right. "Guess."
Charles observed his friend carefully and was about to tell him his pick for the role when Sam came to greet his host.
"William, hi, allow me to congratulate you on the party. The house looks amazing."
"Sam," Darcy shook his most precious employee's hand. "Thank you, and welcome to Pemberley."
"Where's Lizzy?" Sam looked around.
"Over there, with her mother and Jane. Come, I'll introduce you to Amanda."
"I'm wearing a strapless dress that Dior designed for me," with a move of her hands, Jane described the cut of the gown she would wear at the BAFTAs. "It's pink and has this beautiful corsage. I don't know if I'll be able to sit down, it's quite tight, but it's absolutely gorgeous."
"Strapless?" Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "I can't wear those. I'm always afraid the top would fall while I'm walking."
"That's ridiculous, Lizzy," said Amanda, "designer dresses never fall."
"At least you can fill them. My breasts are so small now that there's not much to see if it falls."
"Oh, Jane, you aren't so flat!" cried Amanda. "Anyway, strapless dresses always look better when you aren't so chesty."
"It's a pity, they were much bigger when I was pregnant." Jane looked down at her chest. "Sophie almost has consumed what was left of them. I thought of putting in silicones, but Charles hates them. He says that they feel like squeaky toys. And believe me, he's an expert in telling which boobs are real and which aren't."
"I'm still undecided about what to wear that night. Two designers offered me gowns, could you believe that? I never thought someone would want to dress me." Elizabeth made a face.
"Why not? William is nominated, they'll surely interview him on the red carpet and your dress will be seen worldwide, any designer would love to have this free publicity." said Jane. "They do that all the time, Lizzy. You only have to smile and thank the designer on camera. You can even keep the dress if you like it enough. Though you must return the jewelry."
"Charlotte offered to help me to choose the gown, she's coming next Thursday." Elizabeth left her glass of wine on the table. "Luis is coming too. As you said you would stay until the end of the following week I thought of inviting them. You could come too, mom, and Liddy, we can have a girl's day, that would be great."
"I'd love that, Lizzy!" Amanda agreed enthusiastically and so did Jane. "I'm sure your sister will love it, too!"
"Who would love what?" Darcy's voice came from behind Elizabeth.
Elizabeth turned to her fiancée, a brilliant smile on her face. She then saw Sam and greeted him with a tight hug.
"Sam," Darcy pointed at his future mother-in- law, "This is Amanda, Elizabeth's mother. Amanda, this is Sam Reeves, my production designer and also my left and my right hand.
"So this is the lady who inspired Appearances." Sam spoke gallantly as he shook Amanda's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Amanda."
"The pleasure is all mine," Amanda smiled broadly. "Lizzy told me so much about you. She says you are quite obsessive with your work."
Sam glanced quickly at Elizabeth. "I won't deny I am, though one must be obsessive when the boss is a perfectionist."
While they conversed, the small group changed positions near the buffet where the younger couples started to discuss their plans for the week, leaving Amanda and Sam to converse on their own.
"Lizzy told me you are staying at Pemberley for the weekend." Sam took a glass of champagne that a waiter had just offered and Amanda did the same.
"Yes, with Liddy, my other daughter. She's over there." She pointed at Lydia, who was conversing with the Gardiners.
"She looks very much like you. How old is she?"
"Seventeen."
"Like Kitty, my daughter."
"Kitty? What a lovely nickname. Is she your only child?"
"No, I have two. Mary is 22, she's studying Philosophy at Sheffield."
"What an interesting career. Lydia is still undecided about her future. First she says she wants to be an actress and now she declares she wants to travel before making a decision."
"Well, at least she has the best brother-in-law she could find if she really wants to be an actress. William can make things a lot easier for her."
"That's the only reason why I'm accepting this, though I would rather prefer a more stable career for her."
"Sometimes, it seems that their minds go in the opposite direction to ours. But fortunately they grow out of it." Sam chuckled. "Kitty changes her mind every day."
"Tell me about it!" laughed Amanda.
There was an awkward pause when both stood there, smiling at each other, at loss of what to say, something very unusual in Amanda's case. On the other hand, Sam, being the confident man he was, was beginning to feel silly for not knowing how to converse with the adorable woman standing in front of him.
"My daughters are going to a concert on Saturday night." Sam finally composed himself. "I promised to drive them. Maybe I can convince them to ask Lydia to come along, too."
"That would be indeed fabulous. Sometimes she gets really bored when she comes to Pemberley and it's almost impossible to entertain her."
"Sam," Darcy called him, "would you come for a second?"
Sam excused himself for a moment and Amanda didn't waste her time and grabbed Elizabeth's hand, dragging her apart of the group.
"Lizzy!" she whispered, "you never told me that Sam was such a charming man!"
"Nice, isn't he?" Elizabeth glanced at the man, who was conversing with Charles and Darcy at that moment.
"Nice? He's quite handsome. When you talked about him, I thought he was much younger. How old is he?"
"Fifty." She whispered back.
"Divorced?"
"Widowed. His wife died of cancer two years ago."
"Oh," Amanda made a sad face while placing her hand on her chest. "Poor man."
Elizabeth observed her mother with an amused smile. This was the first time in years that Amanda showed something remotely similar to interest for a man since Thomas Bennet left. In fact, for the past ten years, not only she had been avoiding them, but she laughed at her self-imposed chastity, saying that it was better to be alone that in bad company. She was about to tease her, but Darcy caught her eye and mother and daughter joined the others near the buffet. They conversed for a while until the hosts were called back to their obligations and the party broke apart: Charles and Jane went to converse with the Lucas', Amanda and Sam joined the Gardiners and Elizabeth and Darcy walked towards the Fitzwilliams. And it was while they chatted animatedly with them that Darcy felt this strange thing inside of him, like a tingle that made him turn towards the entrance searching for that person he had been aching to see and that he knew was there: Georgiana.
And there she was, holding a man's hand, looking so radiant and happy that he felt his heart shrinking with joy and loss because even knowing that this day would come, he wasn't ready to see her like this. He thought he would see his fragile little rabbit again, the girl he had refused to see grow up, but no, instead, walking towards him, was a woman in full bloom.
Three months later
Elizabeth stretched her arms over her head and heard the noises of the bones of her spine setting into place. For the last two months, she had been Elizabeth Darcy. There was nothing that made her feel more happy or proud. Pemberley was now their definitive home, their married life was divine, her work was fascinating and the Bingley's had moved to England so Charles could start rehearsing for Appearances. Everything was going so well that she felt that her life couldn't get any better. Even Liddy seemed to be settling down. Her younger sister, though still having difficult episodes on occasion, had accepted Amanda's suitor with an openness very unusual in her and showing a maturity that no one expected she could have.
As she stared at the monitor of her computer, a smile curled her lips up. An e-mail from Georgiana confirmed that she and Eric were coming for dinner. Those two were becoming so close that she wondered when they would announce that they were getting married. At the beginning, not everything was easy for them for there were still obstacles to overcome. It took Georgiana some time to blend into Eric's hearing world and he had to learn to understand some of the particulars of her disability. Anyway, their love was growing stronger every day and she was so happy for them.
She sighed and shook her head, decided to concentrate on her work again. They were budgeting the big set and Darcy would go mad if he didn't have the estimate costs by Monday morning.
Like it happened many other times, something around her changed that made her stop. It started slowly, the atmosphere turned lethargic, sensual, as if someone would be whispering words of love in her ear. She felt this tickling sensation climbing up her spine, spice and sweet, and she knew exactly what it was.
She rose, she walked the halls of Pemberley, climbed the stairs and went directly to that room where they had that chat so long ago. His favorite room, the room where he liked to read and to think and to dream. She saw reclined back on his armchair, looking outside the window, a cloud of smoke dissolving into the air. He was so sexy when he smoked.
Darcy turned his head to look at her and smiled lazily at her. He extended his arm, inviting her to join him and pulled her onto his lap.
"How did you know I was thinking of you?" he asked.
"I just know."
Additional note.
So this is Appearances, a story about love, secrets, misunderstanding, changes, and growth. My story, mom's, Will's, Charles and Jane's, Liddy's and all those who were, for the better or the worse, part of it.
But it's not my intention to end the story with this intrusion, there's still the epilogue to go, I'm just jumping in to tell you about a few things that are also part of this tale that weren't included, so you, patient readers, would not start guessing.
To begin with, my meeting with Lady Catherine after our 'tête a tête'. Guess what, I never saw her again. She didn't show up at our engagement party and I must tell I'm glad that she didn't, because, though I acted confident in front of Will that night, I was terrified at the sole idea of facing her. She's not nice, the kind of person who scares people and I didn't want to have anything to do with her again. Now that I look back, I think I understand what she felt the day we argued at my father's house. She's rich and powerful and she was having many expectations about Will and her daughter and suddenly the nobody she had just insulted ends being the daughter of John Lucas and the fiancée of the man she always wished for a son in law. And that, dear readers, is hard pill to swallow for someone like Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
The one who did come to hold up that front at the engagement party was Ann. She came, she greeted us on behalf of herself and her mother, she mingled, she left. It was an awkward moment because neither of us felt comfortable with what was going on. William was stiff, Ann was pretending that everything was all right when it wasn't and I was nervous, not only because she's William's ex, but because of the tension that exists between them. I don't know what happened at Lucas Lodge that night -William never told me, but whatever it was, it hurt him a lot, it broke the confidence they had in each other and bruised their relationship, forever. Fortunately our 'encounter' t ended very quickly and we were able to return to the party and enjoy the evening without having to worry about her anymore.
With my father and my new family things are beginning to grow. John is something special, it's impossible not to like him. Even after what he did and all those years of absence, I can't hate him or reject him. He's my dad. Some people will say that I'm too forgiving, that I forgave too quickly but what's the point of holding on to resentment? I learned that anger only separates and I lived separated from him for too long, no matter what was the cause or who was responsible for it.
In Dorothy, he found the wife he deserved and maybe the only woman who could deal with a man like him. John is charming, funny, smart but he's temperamental, difficult and Dor really knows how to handle him. He's a businessman and she's his first lady. And I can positively affirm that they care for each other. I don't know if their love is more rational and less passionate that the one he once felt for my mom, I'll never understand how she forgave all his indiscretions -yes, I know about them- but I can see that they truly love each other. With me, she's always very nice. Sincerely nice. It doesn't mean that we are becoming good friends or confidants in any way, but we do have a good time when we are together. As for the guys, I'm closer to Mark than to Peter, mostly because we are much more in contact because of his work -he's my dad's financial auditor- and with Virginia, though we have our highs and lows, we are getting along quite well. I know it will never be like with mom and Liddy but I think of them as family and that's what really counts.
A matter that deserves a separate section is William's reaction to Georgiana's new life. That was tough for him and he's still processing it. You should have seen his face when he saw them arriving at the engagement party, it was priceless. It was the sort of 'Christ, my girl is not my girl anymore and this bastard is responsible for that'. But Georgiana was looking so beautiful that he had to admit-reluctantly- that the change was very positive for her. And as much as he wanted to dislike Georgiana's boyfriend, he couldn't. Eric is great and handled him perfectly and we ended up having a very nice evening together. That night, when we went to bed, we conversed a little about them. He asked me what I thought of Eric and I told him that I not only found him charming and intelligent but that he was also cute and that he was the perfect man for his sister. Of course he didn't like it and glared at me for almost five seconds, probably because 'cute' was part of the list. Then, his features softened and he smiled a 'he likes Hitchock' and later, as he snuggled in bed close to me, he added a 'she's looking fine, isn't she? I think she gained some weight'. He sighed and continued with a 'maybe we can invite them to come on the following weekend, don't you think?' Before I was able to reply, his eyes closed and as he fell asleep, he muttered 'Yes, she looks happy. I'll invite them to come, I want to keep an eye on him.' That's my William, the Lion King. His sister abandoned his harem in pursue of her own life and he still wants to have everything under control. He wouldn't be him if he didn't.
Jane and Charles, I know everyone wants to know more about them. They are doing fine. It was difficult for Jane at the beginning, I can imagine how tough it is to be married to a sex symbol, to be accosted by the fans and the press and live with your husband's past, but if there's someone who has the serenity to deal with all that, it's Jane. She rediscovered the farm boy in Charles and brought him out. They are happy, they were blessed with this beautiful baby girl and though they had an odd beginning, their marriage is founded in love and respect, something so difficult to find in these days. I'm so happy for them, they are our dearest friends.
So what else can I say? That I'm still worried about Lydia (oh, yes that's me), happy for Georgiana, excited about Mom and her new life, proud of what Chuck and Jane have achieved, starting to love my dad and absolutely dazed by the man I adore? I think it's enough.
This is Appearances, the tale of how my life changed. I hope you enjoyed reading it in the same way I enjoyed telling it because, for me, it was a pleasure to share my story with you. Thank you for accompanying me this far.
Elizabeth.
Epilogue
Only one word was needed to describe the state of the set that morning: Chaotic. Over 60 people between actors, extras, builders, assistants, technicians, crew members, friends, photographers, reporters and, of course, the top staff of the directing and producing area were gathered at the set built at Pinewood Studios to see how this scene would come out. Even Sir John Lucas was there to witness show this crucial scene would come out. This was Amanda's debut in front of the cameras and, paradoxically, the last scene of the movie, the part when Lucy, after having her discussion with Jason, walks away from him and into her new life. It was a complex outdoor shot where the camera pulled back down the street while filming Lucy's close up as she walked, then it detained when she stopped to pick up the flowers that the florist offered her and then how she heads towards her uncertain future with an optimist look on her face. All in one shot, no cuts, and nothing seemed to be ready.
Darcy was discussing with the leading actress and Amanda how they were going to approach the scene, the camera angles, the speed, where the light would come from and the places where he needed her to stop, to turn, to start walking again. All the while, carpenters were repairing, in record time, the front of a store that had been damaged during a storm that happened on the previous night and technicians made the last adjustments in lights and sound. Once he was done with her, the female star of the movie went to her trailer to get ready and while he explained to Amanda how to do her part, hammers were banged noisily and electricians shouted for more cable for the lights. They only had half an hour left to finish with it under the threat of being murdered by the director himself and they were running out of time.
"We'll be coming backwards, and when she reaches you, we'll stop over here to get your dialogue." He showed her. "You give her the flowers and we'll start moving again. We'll do the close-ups in the afternoon."
"Oh, dear," Amanda placed her hand over her bosom. "I'm so nervous. We're going to rehearse this once, won't we?"
"Of course, Amanda," Darcy smiled sweetly. "We'll do this as many times as it's needed. And if something goes wrong … Jesus Christ, I can't work with this noise … I said NO MOBILES ON THE SET!" he shouted as he turned around.
The banging stopped, everyone turned immediately silent and Lydia turned off her cell phone while smiling a 'sorry' at the director. Mother and brother-in-law glared at her.
"Sam," the director called his production designer, "please get these people to work silently, and everyone who hasn't a specific task in this part should be out of here."
"Ten more minutes of banging, we're almost done." Sam winked at Amanda and she smiled coquettishly.
"All right," he sighed, "I don't want any more delays. Where's Lizzy?"
Sam looked around. "I haven't seen her in a while. Luis! have you seen Elizabeth?"
The hairstylist stopped his hasty walk towards the make up room. "I think she's in the trailer. She wasn't feeling well when I last saw her. In fact, William," he added with a flourish that only accentuated his dramatic affirmation, "she was looking horrible."
"I'll check on her. Half an hour, Sam."
Sam patted Darcy's tense back and turned to the staff with a 'all right, everyone, we only have half an hour before we start. Actors and extras, get ready, and the rest of you, move your …"
"Love, are you all right?" Darcy entered the trailer.
"Oh, no. Who told you I was here?" Elizabeth rubbed her face to help her come out from her sleepy state.
"Why?" He approached the sofa where she was lying and sat down next to her. "Don't you want to see me anymore?"
No, she didn't want to see him or anyone else at this moment but that was something she couldn't tell her protective and caring husband. After all, he was only doing the husbandly thing to do: check on his wife when she was sick, a situation that was also his responsibility.
"You know it's not that, I don't want to interrupt you while you are working."
Darcy kissed her palm and smiled at her. He knew perfectly well that she wanted to be on her own, that she didn't want to see anyone when she was unwell, but he had to check on her. After all, he was also responsible for her current state and even if her second month of pregnancy had turned her a little fastidious, he had to see that she was OK.
"We're starting in half an hour, I just wanted to know if you were all right."
She smiled briefly. Her morning nausea was usually over by lunchtime,but today, her mom's big day, she was feeling horrible.
"You should have stayed home." Darcy smoothed her hair.
"I wouldn't miss mom's debut for anything in the world."
"And Lydia's."
"And Lydia's." Her sister, the extra. "She was so excited this morning."
"She is." He smiled at her. "She's looking great in her costume. She only needs to turn off her mobile and …"
"Don't tell me she …" Darcy's nod confirmed the unfinished statement. Elizabeth was mortified. She knew now much her husband hated those devices on the set, how they broke the concentration of the actors and she was careful to make that clear to her sister. "Will, I told her, twice, really, she promised she …"
"It's all right. I played the despotic director and she got the message, I think. She's probably expecting a call from someone because she's checking on the bloody thing every five minutes."
"Mom said someone is calling her, I think he's from school."
"Well, maybe she found herself a new boyfriend and George will not be an issue anymore."
"Yeah, hopefully." She replied rather skeptically. "Did my father come?"
"He arrived a while ago."
Elizabeth sighed, not very pleased with that knowledge. John's health wasn't good at this time, he had a triple by-pass not two months ago and, being the careless man he was, she was very worried about him. "Is he all right?"
"Fine, don't worry. You'll see that for yourself."
He bent to give her a soft kiss, which she responded briefly and not too enthusiastically. Darcy saw her wrinkling her nose and immediately realized that something about him bothered her. He was trying really hard to understand her, but …
"Why don't we go back to the set? A little fresh air will make you feel better." His countenance changed almost imperceptibly.
"Give me five more minutes, please." Elizabeth noticed it and wondered how long would it take for Mr. Impatience to lose his patience with her. She was really trying to feel better but …
He frowned and stood abruptly. "All right, see you."
Oh, dear, now he was upset and she couldn't let him go just like that. He was opening the door when she called him.
"Yes?" his reply came out strained and cold.
Elizabeth sat on the sofa and forced a smile. "Thank you for coming to check on me."
He let out a soft chuckle. This was a subtle admonishment for his intolerance. He was acting like an arse and she would never miss the chance to let him know what an idiot he was. "You are feeling awful, aren't you?"
She nodded.
Darcy approached the couch again and crouched in front of her. Elizabeth wrapped her arms about his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Will, but I can't …"
"Shhh, my love," he rubbed her back, "I'm sorry, too. It's just that I …"
They both giggled because it was so difficult to express what they were feeling at the moment. It was so strange, for both. They wanted to be together but they couldn't deal with the highs and lows of the other's mood. And their life was completely upside down at the moment. Darcy was in full director mode, the movie occupied his mind 24 hours a day and he still tried to find time and space for their married life while the wife that had been, until now, only his, had her behavior towards him completely altered because of her pregnancy. Elizabeth, on the other hand, knew that she should at least try to look pleased that he had dropped everything to come to see her, more than 60 people were waiting for him, every minute of delay cost him thousands of pounds, but, as much as she tried, she couldn't pretend she was all right and cheerful when she wasn't. Everything bothered her at this precise moment. The smell of the set, the noises, the lights and oh … why did he insist in using that cologne? She used to love it, but not anymore, the smell was … revolting.
"I'll send you some juice and a sandwich." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "You'll feel better if you eat something."
Elizabeth smiled faintly. Now that he mentioned it, she was famished.
"I better be going," he combed her hair with his fingers, "I said half an hour, I'm sure everyone is expecting me right now."
"Go. And thanks for coming, really."
"My poor, poor pregnant little thing." He grinned. "How could I not come? Isn't this my fault, too?"
"Surely it is." She grinned too. If she was pregnant right now, it was absolutely his fault. He was the one that suggested that they should suspend birth control methods for a while and see what happened. Elizabeth disagreed, saying that it would be better if they waited until he finished shooting the movie but he said that he didn't want to wait a full year so they made this one attempt, almost sure that there would be no consequences. They both changed their mind on the following morning, Darcy admitting that waiting was the prudent thing to do while Elizabeth was beginning to feel enthusiastic about the idea of having a baby. They forgot about this and continued with their normal life. How could they guess that she would become pregnant that same night? Two weeks later she was nauseous and now, in her second month with child, when they were beginning to settle down, the shooting started and the adjusting process began all over again.
"Now I'll go, lassie. You stay, rest."
"Will, there is a horde of reporters out there. I must take care of them."
"Jules can deal with them."
"No," she shook her head. Her assistant wasn't ready for that yet. "Send me that sandwich and I'll be there. I'm feeling much better, really."
Darcy raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Are you sure?"
She nodded.
He kissed her forehead and walked towards the door. Elizabeth once again stopped him before he left.
"William."
"Yes?"
"Don't use that cologne anymore, please."
Darcy laughed and shook his head. "I'm not. It's my deodorant. You'll complain even more if I don't use it, I grant you."
The tension, the energy was reaching its pinnacle when everyone took their places for the first shot of the last scene of Appearances. The leading actress was on her mark, several yards away Amanda stood behind a small cart full of flowers and facing them, the crew, the reporters and visitors were waiting for the call to 'Action!'. And the only man who had the power to get everything in motion wasn't giving the so expected command. Someone was missing and he didn't want to start without her.
"William, here I am."
Darcy felt her hand on his back and turned slightly to meet his wife's eyes. "You are looking much better." He smiled appreciatively.
"I'm feeling much better." She rose to her toes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for the sandwich."
His smile grew broader and as he turned to the set again, his voice raised from loving to commanding as the technicians received the order to start. The camera started rolling, the sound began to record and action finally started.
Everyone was quite nervous in this first shot. Anyway, it came out great, that's what the director said. Just in case, they repeated it four times. Then a fifth one. Take six was the keeper and everyone clapped and cheered when the director announced the so expected break.
It was at that moment when the star of the film showed up to support Amanda in her debut and be part of the series of interviews that the cast would give to the press once the shooting day was over. As it always happened when he arrived, Charles Bingley's entrance was preceded by a squall of flashes and screams from the fans. He was undoubtedly a movie star and everything about him irradiated magnetism. His presence was almost luminous. Today he had chosen a casual, careless attire that only made him look more human and sexy. Faded jeans, denim jacket and a cap boasting San Antonio Spurs, honoring his wife's favorite basketball team. Hanging from his chest, in a baby harness, his daughter, and by his side, holding his hand, Jane, his angel, looking like the perfect celebrity's wife, matching her husband's image in what the press had come to call a glamorous-hippie style. They walked through the press slowly, smiling, posing and answering the questions in that fashion that famous people always do, giving charming, brief replies that said very little and that left everyone wanting to know more.
The break was over and they filmed the close ups. Four hours later they were done with the shooting schedule for the day so the crew started loading the equipment in trucks while the cast had their first official intercourse with the press. Everyone found amazing that the woman who inspired such a heartfelt story was actually part of the movie so most of the questions to the actresses were directed to how they felt about this thrilling experience. Charles, on the other hand, was bombarded with questions about the new turn that his career was going and how his personal life, his wife, had produced this radical change in him.
"Still nauseous?" Jane linked her arm with Elizabeth's.
"No, I'm feeling all right now. I didn't have breakfast today so I think that was the reason I was feeling so unwell this morning."
"It'll pass in a month or so, if you are lucky enough. I spent half of my pregnancy vomiting and the other half in bed."
"Jane," Elizabeth sighed. "Do you remember when we first met, before going to Africa … did you ever imagine that our lives would make such a turn, that it would be here now?"
"No, never. When I look back and I recall all that happened, I can't believe how everything changed, how things came out fine in the end."
"And to think that you didn't have faith in him." Elizabeth's eyes were fixed in Charles Bingley as she spoke. "You were sure he would never take you seriously."
"Fortunately, I was wrong about him. He changed, Lizzy, he's great. With me and with Sophie, he's the best. He's still the spoiled brat in occasions, but I don't mind. It's easy to think you are god when everyone glorifies you."
"So how's the ranch? Are you used to living in the country?"
"At the beginning I didn't like it but then I realized that it was the best for us. There we don't have the press and the fans on our backs all day and we can relax and live like a normal family, given the circumstances. Hollywood is a crazy place and Chuck doesn't want to be part of that circus again."
Elizabeth's fingertips traced patterns over her stomach. "I understand how you feel. My life is a total chaos right now and we still have two months of shooting and the entire post production ahead. I don't know if I'm going to make it."
"Oh, come on!" Jane laughed, "I know you love this! You did a great job in producing this and, frankly speaking, Lizzy, I don't think that William would be working so well without you by his side. You two are a great team, you are his inspiration."
"That's what he says, yes." Elizabeth smiled proudly.
"Amanda is doing great too. Look at her," Jane pointed at Elizabeth's mother, who was posing with Charles and the leading actress for the photographers. "They love her."
"William is right, my mom belongs in front of the camera. You saw her today, she's amazing."
"Sam doesn't take his eyes off her, does he?"
Elizabeth leaned in and whispered a more intimate tone. "They are thinking of moving in together, but don't tell Lydia, she'll go crazy with the idea of having to move to Matlock."
"She'll have to learn to live with that, Lizzy, your mother has the right to rebuild her life. And Lydia is going to college in the following year so it won't affect her."
"I know, that's what I keep telling her, but she's sort of mom's little girl and now she has to share her with 'that' man and his daughters, as she keeps saying. She's just being stupid because she became great friends with Kitty, one of Sam's daughters. The one that was a little upset with this relationship at the beginning was William."
"William? Why? John didn't mind about that, why would William be upset?"
"You know how he likes to have everything under control. It was hard enough for him when Georgiana and Eric announced that they were getting married so when he noticed Sam's interest in mom he immediately asked him about his intentions."
"And?"
"Sam was quite direct. He told him to bugger off."
Jane laughed aloud. "I can imagine Will's face!"
"No, you can't." Elizabeth giggled. "It was unique. But he admitted that they look like a nice couple. You know how much he cares about them."
"Lizzy! Jane!"
Both Elizabeth and Jane looked at Amanda, who was with a group of photographers.
"Come, girls! Arnold wants to take a picture of all of us together!"
"Do you know something?" Asked John with a smirk. "You'll say I'm crazy, but I like to think that if we are all here now, together, it's because I planned it this way. Do you remember when I asked you to hire her?" Darcy nodded. "I was having expectations that something like this would happen between the two of you, that you would fancy her when I sent her to your office. Like a sort of fantasy that you might get along. Silly isn't it?"
"No, not at all. You've always been very intuitive."
John sighed and paused for a moment, as if pondering every word before saying them. "You are like a son to me, Wills. I don't want to nourish that swollen ego of yours, but you are a good man, a better man than I have ever been and I can't be more happy that you married my daughter. Now I know that someone will take care of her and give her what I denied her all her life."
"Thank you, John." Darcy looked down at his shoes as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. Maybe it was John's heart condition what was making him feel apprehensive right now, but something in John's tone moved him almost to tears. His friend sounded as if he was saying good-bye. And he didn't want to say good-bye.
"Look at them, they are so lovely." John was as moved as Darcy when he spoke. "Twenty nine years. Too much to time to waste, don't you think so?"
Darcy took a deep breath before speaking. "Then don't waste anymore time, John."
John stared at him inquiringly.
"You know what I mean. You have your daughter's love, a grandchild on its way, so you take care of yourself and give them what they are needing so much: you."
Sir John Lucas frowned at Darcy's frankness. Though he couldn't expect anything different, he had always been plain and direct.
"Lizzy is worried sick, John, we all are. This is the second heart surgery you had in two years. She made a very long journey to reach this point, don't leave her now that she has you."
"You sound like Dorothy." John teased him in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"We all care about you. Look after yourself and get better, you are the only grandfather that my baby will have," Darcy stopped when he saw Elizabeth walking towards them. She was radiant, excited from the photo session and she embraced her father tightly.
"Did you see that?"
"I did, darling. Your mother is doing a great job."
She eyed him carefully. He was pale, yes, but he was looking much better than he was when she last saw him. "She's a natural charmer, but I already know that. Everyone is delighted with her."
"Your mother was born for this, Lizzy, I'm so glad that she finally returned to her first vocation."
Elizabeth took her father's and Darcy's hand. "Why don't we take a picture of all of us together? We don't have any."
Darcy made a face.
"Oh, come on!" She dragged him along with her. "It will be great!"
Arnold, the official photographer of the movie adjusted the lens and Darcy, Elizabeth, John and Amanda stood in front of him. Then Charles and Jane joined them, Sam, then Amanda called Lydia and the entire family posed for him.
The shooting day was over and, slowly, the crew started to load the equipment in trucks. It has been a long day, full of excitement and they were all tired and anxious to go home.
"Why don't we all have dinner together?" Charles suggested on the way out. Jane and Amanda agreed immediately and Darcy glanced at his wife for approval.
"That would be great. Are you up to it, Lizzy?"
"I'd love that. But don't you have to see how today's shoot came out?"
"I think I'll make an exception this time. I can do that tomorrow."
"That's wonderful. You are coming too, aren't you, dad" Elizabeth asked her father.
"Sure, darling."
"Liddy," Amanda turned to her other daughter while placing her hand on Sam's forearm. "We can take you back home after dinner, what do you say?"
"Actually, mom," Lydia said with a smile. "Tonight I was going out with some friends."
"All right, dear. Have a nice time, and don't return home too late."
"No, mother," Lydia kissed her mother's cheek. "Don't worry."
"Can we drop you somewhere?" Darcy offered.
"No, it's OK. I'll take the van to the city. I'll manage from there, thank you anyway. Good-bye everyone!"
Everyone said good-bye to Lydia and the group then headed towards the parking lot, all the while discussing enthusiastically their choices for dinner. They were a merry group indeed, so glamorous, Lydia Bennet observed with a smile as she waved at her mother when she turned around to say good-bye one last time.
Lydia remained close to the mini-bus where most of the extras and the crew were waiting to return home. One of the guys asked her if she was going up, there was only one seat left, but she declined, saying that she would leave on the next one. The first bus departed and she found herself practically on her own. She looked around and crossed the parking lot, hoping that no one would see her.
It was windy, so she shook her head and allowed the breeze to caress her hair. With light, happy steps, she sprinted towards the gate and she thought that her heart was about to burst in happiness when she saw the red car she was so desirous to see parked across the street. Her life couldn't get any better.
The door of the car opened and she sat inside, her breath at her throat because of the exercise and the excitement for seeing him there.
"I've been waiting for you for nearly an hour." Her date admonished her playfully.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't make it earlier. You know how this is."
"Don't worry, babe." He squeezed her cheek. And as he turned on the engine, he asked her, "Guess who obtained a part in Exxotic Desire?"
"You convinced them?"
"I did. It's not the leading role but you'll be Emanuelle's best friend. What do you say about that?"
"Oh, George!" Lydia wrapped her arms around his neck. "This is fabulous! Thank you!"
"You are welcome, honey." George Wickham grinned proudly. His girlfriend would not be an extra in his movies, no. "Now, where do you want to go tonight?"
Lydia was ecstatic and kissed him soundly. "You decide. I know you'll make the right choice."
The End
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