Chapter 34
As they walked through the hall, Elizabeth's grip around Darcy's arm became tighter. With every step she made, that nervousness that was installed in her stomach in the shape of cramps climbed up her chest and was transformed into flutters. From there, she could hear the buzz coming from the large living room, see the bright lights, and suddenly caterers, guests and elegant adornments appeared before her eyes. This was not a small, intimate party as Elizabeth had imagined. John told her that he would receive about 60 people but she never imagined that 60 people could be such a crowd. As Darcy told her later, like in his films, John was not a man that did things by halves or in a small scale, he was opulent, so this gathering had the grandeur and elegance that a John Lucas' party usually had.
Arriving on the arm of William Darcy became an event itself. He had this impressive stature that draws everyone's attention and as they walked in, she could feel all eyes turning towards them. At the moment, he was England's prodigal son, handsome, talented, currently the most successful of his generation and everyone wanted to shake his hand. The first interruption happened as soon as they entered the salon and from then on, their walk was a continuous succession of people greeting them or staring at them. The oddest parts were the introductions. When Darcy introduced her to someone, she was Elizabeth Bennet. Not his girlfriend, not his ex assistant, not John's daughter, just Elizabeth Bennet. Of course, his entire attitude around her made it obvious that they were a couple, his hand was always on the small of her back, showing everyone that they were not just common acquaintances, but not being introduced as his 'whatever' made her feel as if something was missing.
As much as she didn't want to feel unsure of herself, Elizabeth couldn't help thinking that people were observing her, comparing her with Darcy's previous girlfriend, Ann de Bourgh, seeing if she was up to the standard or not. She was an 'outsider', it was obvious, and there were moments when she sensed that the people to whom she was talking to weren't even registering her name or face and that they were engaging her in conversation just because she was Darcy's date. After a while, she realized that she was getting paranoid, being ridiculously prejudiced. This was a bloody party, she was surrounded by people she had just met her so there was no reason to ask or pretend more. Time would tell who she was and how long she would be by Darcy's side.
"Lizzy! William!" A voice that they knew too well called them, "I was beginning to feel worried. I'm so glad you two made it."
"John, good to see you." Darcy shook his hand.
"Lizzy, my darling," John kissed Elizabeth's cheek and then held her chin. "You are looking so lovely."
"Thank you." She didn't know what else to say, so she just smiled and looked around.
John stood in between them and placed Elizabeth's hand on the crook of his arm as they walked through the salon. With that easy, outgoing manner of his, he told them the pains his wife had gone through to organize this party and the chaos that the house was in that same morning. He took them to the buffet, offered Elizabeth something to drink and insisted that Darcy try his scotch. For nearly twenty minutes, they chatted, quite animatedly. John was a natural charmer, an entertainer and he always had a funny tale or anecdote to make them laugh.
For Elizabeth, the entire thing seemed so unreal and all this sort of fictitious merriment only served to increase her uneasiness about the real purpose for her presence here. Part of her wanted things to happen right now so that way she would be able relax and enjoy the evening with Darcy and/or her father but her other side wanted to just disappear and run back to her mom. The fact that John wasn't calling his family right away only made her feel that he was delaying things, that there was something wrong, that the meeting she was expecting and dreading was not going to take place, or worse, that it was not going to be pleasant.
But her worries eased -or maybe increased- the moment John announced that he was going for his family. Now there was no turning back and the meeting was inevitable. 'Don't worry, don't think, don't try to guess. Just breathe.', that became her mantra, because nothing she could come up with would be like the real thing. Yes, don't worry, don't think, don't try to guess, just breathe, that was the only thing she could do.
"Calm down, Lizzy." Darcy rubbed her back as soon as her father left. "Everything will be all right."
Elizabeth looked up at him and nodded, his presence and comfort making her feel safer. As a way of distraction, she raised her hands to the collar of his shirt, which was unbuttoned -again-, and fixed his tie, which he had probably loosened -again-, for she recalled that he was neatly dressed when they left Pemberley. She should know him better by now. Darcy and ties didn't get along.
"How is it that you always manage to unbutton this? I didn't see you doing it." She said as she made him presentable again.
Darcy raised his chin while she buttoned the top button of his shirt. "I didn't. It just happened."
"There you are, just try to stay neat for a while." Elizabeth brushed his shoulder with her hand when she finished the task. She saw a familiar face on the other end of the salon. "Isn't that Anthony Hopkins?"
Darcy glanced over his shoulder. "He's a very good friend of John's. If everything comes out right, he'll play Jason's father-in-law in Appearances. By the way, you haven't read that script yet, have you?"
"No," she smiled guiltily, "I haven't."
"Still afraid of knowing the whole story?" He squeezed her cheek.
She shrugged. She had seen the script resting on Darcy's desk several times, or on his nightstand and she never attempted to read it, though she knew she would have to do it if she was going to work on this movie.
"It's just a romance based in that story, Lizzy, it's not that it happened exactly like that."
"I know."
"You'll have to read it, you know, we'll start pre-production in only a week and you need to know the characters if you want to coordinate the team work. Each one will have its own art design and you'll have to control the work of the artists."
She nodded, not looking very convinced about that.
Darcy wasn't the most patient of men and her obstinate reluctance in learning about that part of her past was tiring him so he decided to apply some shock therapy again. "All right, if you think you can't do it, just tell me and I'll hire someone else."
"No!" She cried, her tone an octave above her normal one. "I want to work on this movie!"
He crossed his arms over his chest and adopted his most despotic, omnipotent director posture. But he made a mistake. He couldn't stop a very tiny, teasing smile from showing in his lips and Elizabeth caught him.
"You are evil." She pouted.
He placed his hands on her waist and bent to whisper in her ear. "I am, and I'm having some very evil thoughts about you right now."
Elizabeth was a blusher and he sounded so wicked and provocative that the consequences of his flirting became obvious on her cheeks. "I can well imagine."
"Did I tell you how sexy you are looking tonight?"
"I think you did, yes."
"Very sexy." He murmured in her ear. "Even more when you are blushing like that."
They were in public and she was embarrassed so she stepped back. Darcy was about to advance again when he heard someone clearing his throat. "Excuse me, sir, Sir John is waiting for you in the library."
"Thank you," he replied, "I'll be there in a moment."
"Should I show you the way?" the butler asked him.
"No, thank you. I know it."
The butler left after a quick nod and Elizabeth felt that the air was faltering.
"Shall we go?" Darcy asked her.
"Yes."
No matter how much she tried not to, Elizabeth was beginning to regret attending this party. This was not the most appropriate occasion to meet her 'other' family and she couldn't help feeling exposed, submitted to analysis by the others, both as Darcy's date and as John's daughter.
In her fantasies, she had imagined this 'reunion' several times. A bucolic image, the typical family, John's wife baking plum-pudding, everyone delighted to meet her, receiving her as a new member of the family, very much like a bloody commercial of industrial homemade cookies. What a crap. It was not going to be like that. Surely they were all resistant to meet her, especially John's children, seeing her as an intruder, the product of one of their father's affairs, the living proof that he cheated on his wife.
The large mahogany door opened and she spotted five people inside the library. She could see John sitting on a large armchair, laughing happily, an elder woman -his wife- smiling at something he was saying and sitting next to her on a sofa, a young girl and another young man. The other one was sitting on a different chair. Those were her brothers and sister.
What happened next was extremely odd. John rose to welcome them as did the others and Elizabeth was loss of what to do. Should she shake their hands? They were her siblings and that would be so impersonal. Should she kiss them on the cheek? She didn't know them so that would be too forward and fictitious. Could anybody tell her how to do this? Where was her mom? The only thing that was giving her a little comfort was Darcy's hand, always touching her, telling her that he was there and that he would take care of her no matter what happened.
They joined the Lucas' party at the sitting area and John's wife broke the ice. She approached Darcy and gave him a kiss on the cheek that he replied with the same warmth.
"And you are Elizabeth," Dorothy took her by the hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, dear."
"Hello, I'm pleased to meet you, too," Elizabeth smiled.
Dorothy took the lead in the conversation. She introduced Elizabeth to her children, who stood out of reach, and then told everyone to sit down.
If Elizabeth could say something about Dorothy Lucas, was that she was, above all, a lady. She was the image of the typical English heiress, the perfect hostess, delicate, refined, pretty, and classy. Her behavior was gentle, her manners engaging. Everything about her was correct, as if following strict protocol rules. With Elizabeth, she was attentive, making her feel accepted, though all this sort of 'perfect politeness' made Elizabeth wonder if this was just a facade or if she was indeed being sincere. Was she getting paranoid again?
Her father looked relaxed and immediately engaged Darcy in conversation. It was amazing how those two got along. They were so charismatic, so clever and charming that just a chat between them was enough to fill the room. Though opposites in certain aspects -Darcy would never do what her father did, he was too committed to people to leave a pregnant girlfriend on her own- they had certain similarities: the ability to feel comfortable no matter where they were, their saucy good humor and shared passion for cinematography so they were at ease almost the instant they sat down.
Her 'siblings' were another chapter. The guys seemed fine, they participated in the conversation. They didn't look uncomfortable, though not completely at ease. If she would have to guess what they were thinking at that moment, she would say that they didn't seem very interested in her, as if doing this out of politeness or because their father insisted. Now, Virginia, was an entirely different story. She did very little to conceal her discomfort, looking bored and indifferent, very much like Lydia on the car ride to Pemberley. And Elizabeth couldn't blame her, she was having the natural reaction for someone her age. For what she knew, she was 17, John's baby, as Darcy told her, so if she was as half as difficult as Lydia was, this Virginia was surely furious about having a new sister threatening to usurp her privileged status of being daddy's little girl.
"So you met William while he was filming his latest movie, didn't you?" Dorothy asked Elizabeth.
"Yes," she smiled, "I was his assistant on location."
"John told me about that production. What an interesting experience that must have been. Living in the jungle, camping and filming."
"It was fantastic. Netherfield is such a beautiful place."
"John and I went on a safari several years ago and it was fascinating to see all those animals free in their habitats. Did you happen to see any wild animals?"
"No, just a few apes and birds, snakes too, but only that. Nothing really dangerous."
"I think the most dangerous animal she had to deal at the time was me," Darcy smirked as he placed his hand on Elizabeth's knee, "and she did it quite well."
"No doubt she succeeded in taming you, Wills," laughed John. "You are far more docile than you were before."
Elizabeth met Darcy's eyes and they smiled at each other. So these people thought that her Lion King was tamed. They didn't have any idea of how much this man growled.
"And what about this new project, Elizabeth, will you work with him too?"
"Yes," Elizabeth replied briefly. She didn't know how much Dorothy knew about Appearances so she preferred not to talk about that too much.
But Dorothy was smart and read Elizabeth's expression immediately. "Don't worry, my dear, I know what the movie is about, John even consulted with me on some parts when he was writing the script. He was very kind with my character, I must say, I was very much the spoiled girl at the time." Dorothy laughed lightly, with that refinement that was so characteristic in her.
"You weren't that bad, Dor," John laughed too, "and it's fiction after all!"
The conversation proceeded in that manner for a while, everyone trying to keep the mood light until Dorothy reminded her husband that they had other guests at home and even though this was a very pleasant private gathering, they should resume their position as hosts of the party.
So, as impersonally as it started, the meeting ended, leaving Elizabeth with a strange feeling that the serious stuff had been avoided, as if her identity and origins and past weren't important enough to be discussed. Her first thought was 'What? This is it? Aren't you going to talk about the things that truly matter? About how I feel about all this? It seemed that they weren't very interested because the kids -her siblings- immediately rose to leave the room. During the farewell, Peter promised to introduce them to his wife, who didn't attend the party because she wasn't feeling well and Mark told Elizabeth he would call her in a few days time to have lunch with her. At least, at this point, they were all far more relaxed and even Virginia smiled and exchanged a few words with her half sister.
The Lucas offspring fled for their own entertainment, leaving the two couples to converse by themselves. Now without the children's presence, the chat became more personal and the subject that really had to be discussed was finally brought up.
"Elizabeth," John began solemnly, his eyes fixed on hers. "There is one thing I would like to ask you. I waited until the children were gone because I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable about discussing this in front of them." He paused for an instant and then proceeded. "You are my daughter. This situation has been in the dark for too long and nothing would make me happier than to be able to tell everyone about you, to introduce you as my child, though I would like to know what is your opinion about this matter too. Do you want us to make it public right now?"
Elizabeth's hold on Darcy's hand became tighter as she thought what to reply. "I don't know, John," she said after a moment, "everything is happening so quickly that I don't know what to think. I would like that too, but not tonight. I don't think this is the most appropriate occasion to announce it."
"I understand how you feel, darling," John said warmly, "there's sure to be speculations, questions, gossip if it is announced tonight and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. This is a party after all, isn't it?"
"Yes," Elizabeth smiled.
"I have an idea that I already discussed with your father, Elizabeth," Dorothy interjected. When she saw her nod, she proceeded. "We thought of informing our closest circle and a few friends from the press that we know will handle this subject with the respect and the seriousness that it deserves. But we can't control everything that is said and we don't want to expose you to something that would probably make you uneasy."
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"You are dating William now and that itself is news." Dorothy said with a smile. "Also, the new movie is on its way and someone will make the connection. Your father is a public person, so is William and some reporters are so avid of news and gossip for their tabloids that they don't care if what they write is true or not."
"You are afraid about what could be published about you." Elizabeth tried not to sound annoyed.
"No, my dear," John chuckled. "We are used to that, and in any case, I will admit publicly that you're my daughter so that's not the major problem. What we don't want is you to feel that your privacy is being invaded or you to think that your identity is being used to promote the movie."
"How so?"
"Everyone knows that I wrote the script, usually this kind of story is autobiographic so if I present you as my daughter, at some point, someone will guess that you are that child. Even our own people might spread the story without us knowing it and use it as a marketing trick. Rumors are one of the best resources to obtain free publicity."
That situation never crossed her mind, but at this point, she didn't mind it. She reflected for a moment and her eyes acquired a firmness that she had never shown before. "I am your daughter, John. I want to be known as such."
John Lucas was a very extroverted, expressive man and he laughed, loud and strong, celebrating her decision with a "Capital, my child, capital! If that's what you want, then that's how it's going to be. We'll spread the news during the following week."
Elizabeth's wasn't sure of exactly what emotions she felt at that moment, but relief, comfort and completion were some of them. There were some more, pride, confidence, happiness, too. But she was still too nervous to be able to detect them. She wasn't sure if this would change things or not, probably they wouldn't, though she was feeling different and she liked how she felt. This was what she wanted. She looked at Darcy, so absolutely satisfied by her own choice and smiled when he kissed the hand that he had been holding almost since they entered the room. And she could tell that he was as happy as she was.
The Lucases then invited the younger couple to spend a weekend sometime in the following month and the four returned to the party. They remained together for a while, interacting with the other guests, mostly with people of the show business circle -Elizabeth met Sir Anthony Hopkins without swooning- until Dorothy, always impeccable in her role of hostess, excused herself to receive a recently arrived group of friends. John was talking to some acquaintances and Darcy told him he would go for some refreshments, taking Elizabeth with him so they could talk in privacy.
"Well?" He said while placing a glass of wine in Elizabeth's hand. "It wasn't that bad."
"No, it wasn't." She sipped her drink.
"Come on," he chuckled on seeing that she was still troubled about the meeting, "it's over. And you made the right decision in there. I'm very proud of you."
"You are?" Elizabeth asked with a half smile, that same twisted smile that made her look just like her father.
"Yes, very proud."
She let out a deep, dramatic sigh. "Everything was so awkward. It wasn't what I expected at all."
"And what were you expecting?"
Darcy and his bloody questions. She didn't have a reply for that one so she just shrugged.
Of course, he smirked and squeezed her cheek with affection. "I think they were as nervous as you were and everything came out the only way it could."
"Yes, maybe. Dorothy seems very nice."
"She's a fine lady, yes."
"I thought that Virginia wanted to kill me at the beginning." Elizabeth made a face.
Darcy chuckled. "She's probably jealous. Just put yourself inside her skin right now. She's John's little girl and you suddenly show up to share that place with her."
"I'm not dad's little girl," she pursed lips.
"That's what you think, Lizzy." Darcy said pointedly. "John adores you."
Elizabeth was still skeptical about that. "Oh yes? So why didn't he come to see me in the last ten years?"
"Why don't you ask him?" He threw it back to her.
She remained silent. At this point, she was confused about all that happened this evening and Darcy's questions were puzzling even more.
"I think," Darcy decided to give her a break, "that we should dance."
"Dance?" She blinked.
He was smiling so invitingly that all she could do was take the hand he was offering. Together, they walked to the center of the salon and they joined the other couples to enjoy one of the first refinements of polished societies.
Now in her man's arms, following his lead on the dance floor, Elizabeth was able to relax and allowed him to sway her body with the rhythm of the music. It was a slow, romantic song and it allowed them to be near and in contact while surrounded by people.
"Did you realize that this is the first time we have danced together?" She asked him.
"The second time." He corrected.
"Not like this." She smiled impertinently. "And that one doesn't count, you were drunk."
"If my memories of that night are correct," was his playful reply, "you were drunk too."
"And you didn't dance," she accused, "you just stood there, shifting from one foot to another."
"It was the Macarena, you can't expect me to dance to that song."
"What's wrong with it? It's a great!"
"And you danced it magnificently." Holding her tightly at the waist, he spun her around and they both giggled.
Happy and dizzy, Elizabeth linked her hands behind his neck. Now they were dancing so close, so slow, that she let herself go in his arms and they danced like lovers do. Darcy couldn't stop himself from nuzzling her ear, from moving his hands up and down her back and he was lost in her fragrance, carried away in the moment. His lips found hers and gave her a soft, brief kiss, which she ended too quickly for his liking.
"Will, we are in public." She whispered.
"So?"
She looked up at him. This was Darcy. He had nothing to prove or to conceal, he was spontaneous, confident and natural and there was no reason to try to change him or to repress him, she loved him the way he was.
"You are right," Smiling, she glued her body to his and, for the first time, she did what she wanted, enjoying what she was doing, not caring if the others approved or not. And it felt just great.
He smiled too and kissed her lips a second time, briefly but sensually and then rested his cheek on her hair. They danced so entranced with each other that the rest of the room didn't seem to exist.
They danced two more songs. The tension they've been accumulating since they departed Pemberley had taken its toll on them and this sort of romantic and peaceful interlude was what they needed to somehow restore their beaten spirits. When they left the dance floor, Elizabeth excused herself to go the loo and Darcy waited for her while walking around the salon.
Elizabeth was taking her time coming back from the restrooms and Darcy, not willing to talk business right now, escaped from the room in search of fresh air. He found his way to the terrace, empty of guests because of the freezing night. It was cold, yes, but he was in bad need of air right now.
He had been restless for some time now. While everything seemed all right now, he felt that it wasn't. Usually, he wasn't a defeatist person, but he had the strange feeling that, lately, with Elizabeth, things weren't progressing between them as well as they should, or at least the way that he wanted. He couldn't tell exactly what it was. In general, they were getting along fantastically well, but there were moments when he felt that she was too tense about everything to allow herself to be happy and that their wishes and expectations were going in opposite directions.
The final bomb that rang his alarm bells came when she told him that she wanted to find her own place to live. During the car ride, he preferred to let that one pass. It wasn't the most appropriate moment to discuss it, Elizabeth was too nervous about meeting her family that he didn't want to ruin the mood with an outburst, but he had to admit that that bothered him, a lot. He knew he was wrong in feeling this way, that he should be more respectful of her wishes and needs but, what the hell, that's what he felt. He loved to have her at home, talk to her, he loved the smell of her hair on his pillow and how she kicked him in the middle of the night to stop his snores. He was in love with her and he wanted her with him for the rest of his life.
But, Darcy was, above all, a realistic and sensible person and while this was what he wanted, he knew that he couldn't have it just like that. Elizabeth was still adjusting to the many changes that occurred in her life, and she needed time to adapt and to accept. Her new family, her new job, and even himself. The point was that they didn't want the same things right now, they were choosing separate paths. He wanted everything right away -marriage, children, pets, work, everything- and Elizabeth wanted her own place, her own space, her own life on her own, even if it was only for a short period of time.
So, what were his options? Not many: be supportive, patient and helpful. Yes, help her through this, support her and pray that she would realize how stupid her decision was and that she should stay with him, forever.
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Women, they should come with manuals.
"Now, now," a feminine voice came from behind him, "look who I found here."
Darcy turned around. "Ann."
Going to the toilet was quite a challenge that night. This was a house, so there was only one bathroom reserved for women and with so many guests, the natural thing to happen of course happened. A fairly long line, ladies taking her time to 'fix' themselves in front of the mirror and an impatient Elizabeth had to wait for her turn to come. After doing what she had to do, she checked her make-up, her hair, powdered her nose, sprayed some perfume on and retouched her glitter so, when she finally left the ladies room, the women lined up in front of the door glared furiously at her in the same manner she glared at the woman that used the toilet before her. Yes, she also took her time in there, so?
As she had imagined, Darcy wasn't there waiting for her when she came out. 'Ah, men,' she thought, 'they never have the patience to wait for us'. He surely walked away as soon as she left him on his own. She looked around, but Darcy was nowhere to be seen, so she headed to the buffet while thinking that, maybe, Mr. Impatience went to the toilet himself.
She waited for him while trying some of the appetizers. Too elaborated for her taste though she liked those ones with salmon. After a while, she became bored. She was there, on her own, standing like an idiot while waiters and unknown people passed in front of her. Bloody Darcy, where was he?
It was then when she decided to look for him. She made a tour around the salon and then peered inside one of the adjoining rooms to see if he was in there. She was about to leave when she bumped into someone.
"I'm sorry, madam, I didn't see you." Elizabeth apologized.
"I know you, you worked for me at Rosings." The woman said.
Elizabeth looked up. It was Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
"Hello, Wills, good to see you."
"Nice to see you, too," he smiled. "You are looking well."
"So are you." She eyed him up and down. "So, what are you doing, alone, in the cold, without your ... what was her name?"
"Elizabeth."
"Oh, yes, Elizabeth. I saw you two dancing together." She said suggestively. "Who would say that you were such a romantic? I never imagined you capable of such an exhibition."
He frowned. He didn't like her tone. "I have nothing to hide."
"No, you don't." She chuckled and produced a cigarette in her hand, which he gallantly lit up. "Thank you," Ann blew the smoke up into the air. "I heard she's staying at Pemberley, with you, for the holidays."
"She is. Her mother and sister are there, too."
Ann raised her eyebrows in amazement. "You? Entertaining mothers?" Wow, so this is more serious than I had imagined. Either you are really in love with her or ..."
"I am in love with her." He stood tall.
"Oh, yes, you are. Good for you." Ann replied in a dismissive manner.
"Annie, what's wrong with you?" He was puzzled by her behavior.
"Nothing, just forget about me. You never cared too much about me so ... just forget it."
She was obviously upset about something -with him- and he didn't want to leave things unsaid between them. "We've always been honest to each other, Ann. I never said that I loved you, but I do care for you. I have always cared for you."
"Ha!" She laughed bitterly. "Care. You care. Come on, Wills, I'm not stupid. You never truly cared about me, you were just passing time."
"And you were not?" He retorted.
"No." She fixed her eyes on his. "Never."
At that moment, realization came. Ann was in love with him. All this time, she had been in love with him. And the only thing he could feel right now was compassion. He never wanted to hurt her, but he did it. "Ann, you never told me, you even said that you didn't ..."
"I lied." She sucked some smoke into her mouth and blew it out nervously. "You weren't in love, Wills. If it lasted the time it lasted it was because I played your game. I know you well enough to know that had I asked or said or demanded, you would have terminated it right away."
No, that wasn't the truth. If he had something to reproach her about the time they were together, was her lack of passion, of tenderness. She wasn't demonstrative or affectionate. If she loved him, she never showed it, she never made him feel loved or cared for. That's why he stopped seeing her the first time and the second one ... that thing shouldn't have happened, he was in love with someone else. Maybe his mistake was never saying how he felt about this, but, in any case, this wasn't the moment to bring up recriminations about a relationship that never worked and that was long ago finished. This was the moment to move ahead and leave the past behind.
"I'm sorry, Annie, I never meant to hurt you in any way."
She half smiled, as if offering a truce. Though this wasn't the end. She still had one last blow to release. "You didn't. I knew what I was getting myself into."
Darcy smiled too, though he wasn't happy with the outcome of this chat.
"So the only thing I have to do is to wish you luck with your ... Elizabeth. You are going to need it."
"Why?" He bit the hook.
"Why?" She cried, smiling triumphantly. "She's a civilian! Come on, admit it, she's a cute little thing, but she has no idea of how this works. Will she be able to handle the media exposure, to become your 'girl'? What do you think that will happen when the tabloids invent you or her an affair with someone else?" She saw him swallow and proceeded. "Or when you disappear to film on location, for weeks? You are insupportable when filming, William, not everyone has the strength to deal with you. You focus on your movie and don't care about anything else. Or did you forget what happened with Georgiana that time you stayed in Alaska for three months filming that documentary film? Poor child, she was so depressed, crying over her big brother because he didn't care about her. What was that eating disorder she had at the time? Bulimia? Oh, no," Ann shook her head, "anorexia, she was anorectic. But you obtained your Golden Globe for that one, didn't you? Pity she was the one who paid the higher cost. Now, is your Elizabeth strong enough to deal with you?"
Darcy stood there, observing her silently, with eyes full of pain. At that moment, Ann realized that she hit him where it hurt and regretted everything she just said, though now, there was no way to take it back.
"Please forgive me, William, I don't know why I said all this, I think I had too much wine. I'm sorry."
He looked down at his hands and then at her. "Excuse me, I must return to the party. Good night."
Elizabeth nodded at the elder woman and made an attempt to walk around her to leave the room. But her Ladyship blocked her way.
"I must have a word with you."
"With me?"
"Yes, you. The rumor that William was seeing someone reached me a few days ago though, frankly speaking," she looked at Elizabeth disdainfully, "I never imagined he would be with someone like you."
Elizabeth was so astonished that she couldn't say a word and her Ladyship continued to speak in a very suggestive manner.
"You certainly played your cards very cleverly, miss, you chose your man wisely."
"I did what?"
"Yes, very cleverly. You escalated quite quickly."
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Miss " Lady Catherine stopped for Elizabeth to fill the blank.
"Bennet."
"Miss Bennet. I know your kind, I know what you are capable of doing. What I don't understand is how a man like William descended so low in his standards."
"Excuse me?"
"I don't know what you did to him, but the man had certainly forgot himself. What a shame, acting so recklessly, at his partner's house. I've never seen William behaving like that."
"I don't understand." Elizabeth was confused.
"Your little dance," Lady Catherine made a flourish with her hand. "You two looked like a pair of horny rabbits."
Elizabeth couldn't believe her ears. "I don't think that what he did was shameful. We were only dancing."
"I'm not blind, miss. You were rubbing yourselves against each other. And that kiss, shameful indeed."
"He was only kissing the woman he loves! What's wrong with that?"
"The woman he loves?" Lady Katherine laughed at her. "Oh, come on! Is that what you think? That he's in love? I know him better than you, darling, you are only his latest entertainment."
"That's not what he says."
"He may say many things, Miss Bennet," her Ladyship spoke as if giving the matter little importance, "but the truth is that he's only passing time with you. William knows what's best for him, and you certainly will do him no good. He needs someone classy, smart, someone that would help him to pivot his career and you don't fit into that category. When he's tired of you he'll return to the only woman he ever cared for."
"And that would be?" Elizabeth was almost dreading the answer.
"You must be aware of the relationship he has with my daughter, Ann."
"That ended a long time ago. William told me that himself."
"Well," Lady Catherine said mockingly, "if he said so ..."
"Why would he lie?"
Lady C saw her defenses weakening and planned her attack.
"Their relationship is of a 'particular' kind, based in something more 'intellectual' and less 'physical' than the one he's having with you. William knows that they are meant for each other but at the time he's too busy with his career to think of anything else, and so is Ann. So they agreed to give themselves a little license, a sort of 'gap' year, where they'll focus in their careers before committing." Lady Catherine proceeded suavely. "The only difference between them is that William found someone to shag in the meantime, that's all."
"That's not true, he's not like that."
"He's just a man, my dear. They are ruled by their hormones. But this time it's going too far. There will be rumors, comments about you two and I must protect his interests and hers."
"What I don't understand is what this had to do with me and in any case, this is William's decision, not yours."
"You certainly don't know who you are dealing with, Miss Bennet. You are wrong if you think that I'll allow you to continue to seduce him with your arts and allurements. I shall see the end of this!" Elizabeth once again tried to leave the room, but Lady Catherine impeded it. "Not so hasty, Miss. I still have something to say. One day, William will get tired of you and your little body and will return to my daughter and that day you'll go back to the sphere you should never have left. I told you, I know your kind. But you are wrong if you think you'll succeed with this one, I'll expose you publicly. I'll personally see that all the doors are closed for you."
"I'm not afraid of you." Elizabeth spat back.
"No? You don't know me, my dear. I have influence. I can have something published about you that he might not like and then, he'll dump you like the nobody you are."
Elizabeth swallowed hard. "William is smart enough as not to believe in tabloids."
With a knowing smile, Lady Catherine played her last card. "Let's see, shall we?"
With that, she left the room, leaving a troubled Elizabeth so immersed in her own confusion that she couldn't understand this conversation for what it was: a threat of a woman who had lost what she wanted and was only taking revenge.
For nearly ten minutes, Elizabeth stayed in that small room, trying to compose herself after the argument with Lady Catherine. She didn't want to return to the party, she didn't want to face Darcy or John or anyone that would look at her and compare her with Ann de Bourgh and see if she was up to Darcy's standards or not. But she knew she wouldn't be able to hide in this place forever and that sooner or later, she would have to go back.
Back in the living room, she walked around, trying to pass unnoticed while searching for Darcy. She didn't know what she was going to do when she saw him, telling him what had just happened would make him go ballistic and would surely provoke a fight between him and Lady Catherine so she decided she would keep this to herself and tell him only if the occasion arose, preferentially, never. What would be the point of upsetting him? What if he confirmed what Lady Catherine had just said? Over and over again, Elizabeth was telling herself that Darcy wasn't like this, that he loved her, that he would never hurt her, but Lady Catherine had been convincing enough as to make her doubt.
And then, she saw him, coming in from the terraces, followed by Ann de Bourgh. In front of her surprised eyes, he stopped and ran his hand through his hair. He was with his back to her, Ann was telling him something, her hand on his back, moving slowly up and down, as if comforting him. He didn't turn around so she walked around him so they could talk face to face. She talked to him while holding his forearm, he nodded and then he walked away.
That was the picture that Elizabeth saw and that she couldn't interpret. Hurt and embarrassed, she fled to the other end of the room and pretended she was looking at the food so, if Darcy came, he wouldn't guess that she witnessed his encounter with Ann. Her frame of mind wasn't the best one at the moment and while she understood that Darcy looked more upset than pleased with Ann, she couldn't stop feeling that something had happened between them just now. What were they talking about? What were they doing outside? Was Ann trying to convince him that she wasn't good for him? Was she reminding him of their 'agreement'? As much as Elizabeth didn't want to, she was terrified. Terrified that all that Lady Catherine said was true, terrified of losing him.
"Elizabeth," Darcy's tense voice came from behind her. "Here you are. I've been looking for you."
Deep breath, she turned around, and acted as if nothing had happened. "I was looking for you, too."
He smiled, though he didn't look sincere.
They stood there, in silence, for more than five minutes, each looking in different directions. A waiter passed near Darcy and he grabbed a glass of scotch. He asked Elizabeth if she wanted something to drink, she declined and he continued to stare at the room with a frown on his forehead, occasionally nibbling his scotch. Elizabeth was alternating looking at her feet and at the chandelier. Something was completely wrong with him and she was starting to feel that her suspicions were right.
"Do you want something to eat?" He asked again.
"No. Thank you." She replied curtly.
Silence again.
"This party sucks." He said disdainfully. "Why don't we leave?"
"What would John say?"
"I don't care." Darcy glanced at his partner and friend and finished his scotch in one shot.
"Then let's go," she said, more and more worried about his attitude with every second. He started walking and she followed.
"What?" John asked merrily when the couple approached him to say goodbye to their host. "Leaving the party so early? You'll miss the best part! We'll have this mariachis coming and "
"Really, John," Darcy forced a smile. "We must go. It's late and we have this New Year party at Pemberley tomorrow and we can't stay any longer."
If John weren't a little tipsy, he would have noticed that their smiles weren't sincere. He gave them his blessing, told them that he would call on the following day and returned to his guests.
Wrapped in their coats, they waited for the valet to bring Darcy's car. They practically didn't exchange words, save for a polite 'cold?' that Darcy asked and a brief 'I'm fine' that Elizabeth mumbled without meeting his eyes. The car arrived, Darcy opened the door for her and they left at full speed.
It was late at night, there wasn't too much traffic when they crossed Manchester so Darcy sped down the streets. Anyhow, the drive was silent, extremely silent. Elizabeth was looking out of her window, Darcy at the road. It continued like this until Darcy lost his nerve and pulled off of the road. He parked the car out of the lane and demanded angrily.
"Tell me what's wrong with you."
"With me?" She cried defensively. "I would like to know what's wrong with you!"
"Come on, Elizabeth! You've been acting strange since I found you!"
"What? You are the one that is driving like a freak! You are going to kill us both if you continue like that!"
"I am not!" he barked. "And in any case, it's because of you! You are "
"Stop yelling at me!" She cried.
"I'm not yelling!" He yelled.
That was what made her defenses collapse. Sobs started to climb up her throat, tears clouded her eyes and the storm began. She buried her face in her hands and started crying.
Darcy slapped the wheel and rested his head on the headrest, frustrated and helpless as he had never been. "I'm sorry I shouted, Elizabeth, I didn't mean it, it's just that I don't know what's wrong with you."
She tried -unsuccessfully- to control her breathing and spoke in between hiccups, "No, you forgive me, I yelled at you, too."
"Will you tell me what happened?"
"Nothing happened," she sniffed.
Why was it that women never spoke directly about their worries? This time he cursed inwardly and spoke slowly, holding back his anger. "Elizabeth, tell me."
"I'm fine, I told you." She hiccupped.
He lost his patience with her. "Bloody hell, Elizabeth, tell me!"
"You are getting tired of me!" She couldn't hold back anymore.
He stared at her for a moment before asking "What?"
"I'm not right for you! You are this famous director, you need someone that would help you with your career, you need someone like Ann!"
"You are insane." His tone was deadly serious. "No, you are not insane. You're drunk. Tell me you had too much to drink and that you lost your senses, Elizabeth, because if not, I'll think you've gone mad."
"Don't speak to me like that!" She cried. "I'm not drunk! You want to go back with her!"
He blinked once, then a second time and turned the engine on. "Now I understand what is going on. You don't need to invent this crap so you can break up with me. First you say you want live on your own and now this. If you don't want to go on, just tell me straight forward, Elizabeth, you don't need invent stupid excuses to get rid of me!"
"I am not!" Her tears rolled down her cheeks again
"Then why on earth are you acting like this?" He cried, his desperation obvious in his voice.
She looked at him, eyes wide open and teary, cheeks stained with make-up. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please hold me, William, hold me."
That was the only thing he wanted to do since they left the party, hold her, love her, hear her say that she loved him and that she would never leave him. Holding back his own sobs, he embraced her, hugging her tightly against his chest. He rocked her body while kissing her hair and spoke softly, tenderly.
"It's all right, my love, please calm down. I'm here. I'll never let you go."
Elizabeth cried in earnest for a while and he comforted her. When she was feeling better, she pulled back and said,
"Oh, William, I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I believed what she said."
"Who?"
"Lady Catherine. She told me she said that that "
"Catherine." He repeated, his tone serious.
"Yes, she said all those things about you, that you were just just " her voice faltered. Now Lady Catherine's speech seem so meaningless that she felt stupid and ashamed for believing it. "It doesn't matter. It's not important."
"Lizzy, could you speak directly, for once?"
"Well," Elizabeth bit her lip, "she said something about you and Ann and then I saw you coming from the terrace and she came after you and I thought you two were back together. And when you came, you were acting so serious that I started doubting even more. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
Darcy couldn't believe what he just heard. "Didn't I tell you enough times that I love you?" His tone betrayed the anguish he felt. "Is that so difficult to understand?"
She shrugged and looked down.
"Come here, little thing," he embraced her when he saw that she was about to cry again. "I'm not angry with you, it's just that I "
"Yes?" She asked softly.
His eyes fixed on hers and he spoke with such an intensity that her skin tingled with every word he pronounced. "Tell me that you love me."
It was then when she realized that he had her same fears, her same doubts and that he needed the same reassurance that she was now needing. Without hesitancy, she replied,
"I love you, William, I really do."
His mouth descended over hers and he kissed her with such passion, with such hunger that Elizabeth was consumed by his fire. When he kissed her like that, she knew what would follow next: lovemaking, of the most intense kind and the first signs of his desire didn't take long to come. His hand went to her thigh, then slid up to her breast, then down to her waist to try to pull her over him, but the tight skirt of her dress didn't allow him room to maneuver her and breathless and crazy with lust, he said,
"I want to make love to you, Elizabeth, now."
"Here?" She blurted out. This was what she was expecting him to say, but, in the car? In the middle of the road?
He moved his lips to her ear and murmured, "nearest hotel?"
His desire became hers and warm and needy she replied a breathless "Yes."
Darcy didn't waste any more time and sped down the road. Not far away, they found an Inn, not luxurious, but nice and more than apt for their current needs. Once in the privacy of their room they started kissing again and Darcy spoke while lowering the zipper of her dress.
"I " he said in between kisses, " I can't wait Elizabeth I "
"Come here, big man," she was unbuttoning his shirt, "shut up and love me."
Her dress fell on the floor and his clothes followed. In a matter of seconds they were making love, rough and wild, Elizabeth pressed under his weight and Darcy marking the pace. His state of arousal was such, that he wasn't sure he would be able to wait for her and, Elizabeth, noticing it, wrapped her legs around him to receive the powerful impact of his thrusts. His climax came with a groan just when she reached hers and their bodies relaxed to enjoy that peace and that marvelous connection that they always shared after making love.
Darcy was still on top of her, resting on one elbow so he wouldn't suffocate her, smiling in that languid, blissful way he always had when they were together, like this. He gave her a kiss, soft and slow and she responded by curling her limbs around his body so she would embrace as much of him as she could. They stayed like this, united, just enjoying the sensation of holding each other, of feeling the other in their arms. After a while they parted to lay together in bed.
"Now that you are calm," Darcy put his arms about her, "could you tell me what happened with Catherine?"
"Promise you won't get mad?" she asked quietly.
"Is it that bad?"
"Awful," she made a face and saw him frowning in concern. "The worst part was when she told me that she would have horrible things published about me so you would leave me."
"Lizzy, that's ridiculous, I know you well enough as to "
"You believed it once "
"I thought that we already cleared up that subject " His expression darkened instantly.
She pressed her forefinger on his lips to stop him. "I know, and I'm sorry that I didn't trust you. But she sounded so convincing. She said that our relationship was only physical, that it's just about sex "
He lowered his face closer to hers and spoke while placing soft kisses all over her cheeks, "Our relationship is physical emotional special fantastical sensational total."
She giggled, he was tickling her ear. "She also said that she would expose me publicly, that she would tell everyone what I was doing and that I would never work in this business again "
Darcy rose his head to look at her. "You don't get it yet, do you?"
"What do you mean?" she frowned.
"You are John Lucas' daughter, Elizabeth. Your father is one of the most powerful and influential men in the industry. In any case, it's Catherine who is the one who should be careful about what she says about you. You only needed to say 'get this witch out of here' and Lady Catherine de Bourgh's fat arse would have been kicked out of the house."
"Really?" She smiled broadly.
"Like a dog." He smiled too. "If Catherine knows what's good for her, she should go down on all four and kiss your feet while begging for forgiveness the next time she sees you. But she'll have her comeuppance when she learns the truth. I would pay to see her face when she learns that John is your father."
"I think I'll have to get use to this, won't I?"
"I think you should. That would surely save us a lot of trouble in the future."
She bit her lip and whispered an 'I'm sorry' that he replied with a soft 'you're forgiven' while nuzzling her nose and kissing her lips. He rested his head on the pillow next to hers and smiled in absolute bliss when she started caressing his hair. He absolutely adored her when she did this.
"Will?"
"Mmmmmm?"
"What happened with Ann that you were so upset?"
He sighed deeply. "Something I would prefer to forget."
Darcy wasn't someone who avoided answers, so his reluctance to tell her about what happened with Ann surely meant that it was not a pleasant experience. "Was it about me?"
"Partly, yes, though it was more about things that were left unsaid when we broke up. Poor Ann. I think she was only venting out her bitterness about something that never worked. But it wasn't nice, I grant you."
"Will you not tell me?"
"Not tonight, please. I really don't want to think about that right now."
She nodded quietly.
Darcy rose to his elbow and traced her jaw with his finger, from her chin to her ear and frowned, as if considering every word before saying them. He took a strand of her hair and spoke while twisting it around his finger. "Lizzy, I know that you want to live on your own for a time, that you want to have your own space, your own place, I can't really understand why, but if that's what you wish, I'll respect that ..."
Elizabeth was looking at her otherwise super confident, tough, big man, acting hesitant and shy and vulnerable that she wanted to scream 'yes' to whatever he was going to ask.
" so when you're done with that if you think you are ready I would like to know if you would consider marrying me sometime in the future."
"Marry you?" Her face illuminated with joy.
"Yes," he dared to look up at her, a small smile on his lips.
"You want me to marry you?"
"It doesn't have to be now, you know, I don't want to rush you, I just need to know if you would like that." His smile grew broader and had this combination of wickedness and hope that made her heart skip a beat.
"Of course I do, why do you think I would not?"
He shrugged and pouted, making her his best 'lost puppy' face.
That really melted her into a puddle. "I'd love to marry you, William." She said softly, cupping his face in her hands.
She guided his face to hers and they kissed, sweet and deep.
"Good girl." He said when he raised his head. "I knew you would make the right decision."
The man looked so absolutely pleased with himself that it made her giggle. "Does that mean that we are engaged?"
"Actually, it doesn't." Darcy brushed his fingertips along her cheek. "I didn't ask you to marry me, only if you would consider the idea. In any case, I want a short engagement so, as you still have this silly idea of living on your own for some time "
"It's not silly."
" this senseless idea, I'll have to wait until you realize your mistake and ask you to marry you when you are ready to move in with me right after my proposal. "
"That is absolutely capricious and despotic."
"Yes," he nodded. "I know."
"And manipulative." She frowned.
"Aha."
"Tyrannical."
He nodded again, so absolutely proud of himself. "I never said I wasn't."
She laughed aloud. He undoubtedly was all this and many things more and there were all these traits that made him the most amazing man in the word. "Do you always get what you want?"
"Usually, yes." Smiling in satisfaction, he moved closer to her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. "When I work hard for it."
"Oh, Wills, you're incredible." Elizabeth smiled, her heart so full of love for this man.
His lips were only a fraction of an inch from hers. "You aren't bad either."
"No?" she asked smilingly.
"Actually," He moved his body partially over hers, "You are fantastic."
Before she was able to say anything else, his mouth covered hers. Her lips parted to receive his tongue and the kiss became deep, wet and sensuous.
Elizabeth knew her man well enough to know that, when he took his time in loving her slowly, he would love her with agonizing slowness and that -oh boy- he was so good at it that she was already melting in anticipation. First, he worked on her mouth, nibbling and kissing while his hands traced paths all over her skin. Breasts, stomach, thighs, everything, except for the part where she was more desirous to be touched, were brushed with his fingertips. Then, his lips followed the same route, teasing her mercilessly, making her feel cold and warm and when she thought she couldn't take any more of this, he tasted her salt. Her body arched in response and her need was such that it could only be satisfied by the weight of his body over hers and the warmth of his flesh inside of her. Only when she begged, he obliged. They became one and the dance began. When he wanted, he was really good at it, the best, and as he wasn't in a hurry this time, he took his time in pleasing her. And when it happened, it was just mind-blowing. Once she was satisfied, he focused on himself, he switched from lovemaking to mating, he became instinct and power, and honoring the well earned title of Lion King, he groaned his pleasure and filled his queen.
"William Darcy," she purred as the man relaxed over her, "you are such an animal."
His smile was as lazy as could be when he replied with a guttural "Grrrrrrr."