Chapter 21
One day, Elizabeth woke up and realized that the ghosts she had been trying to escape from had finally caught her. The promoting artillery was released and Elizabeth's self-imposed exile was permanently bombarded with information about 'The Secret of the Mountain'. Posters followed her on the street, 'Secrets in the Mist', the love song of the film, was a huge success and names like Charles Bingley, Caroline Benjamin, William Darcy and John Lucas were repeated over and over again on the radio and on TV. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that she didn't care, that she didn't want to know about them, she was almost waiting for someone to mention them and her feet would invariably take her to the TV to see what was going on.
The first complete report she saw was on E! Entertainment Television, the 'Behind the Scenes' special which, of course, she recorded on video. It was the show they filmed in Africa, that day the reporters came. Caroline was wearing that white Victorian dress, Charles, handsome as ever in his explorer attire and she even saw Darcy and herself, talking and smiling during a break, in that so relaxed morning before George came into her life, before her problems started.
While one side of her was drawn by that contagious enthusiasm that the close release provoked -everyone was anticipating the premiere of what seemed to be the hit of the season- the other side was growing more and more disturbed. Charles appeared frequently on TV, in live shows or pre-recorded interviews and nothing was mentioned about his private life. The rumors about an affair with Caroline were denied every time the subject was brought up and any interrogatory that wasn't specifically related to the movie he was promoting was avoided. That only brought more doubts about a subject that had been troubling her for a long time. She had thought that, at this point, Charles should be knowing about Jane's pregnancy, Darcy promised he would contact him quickly in his letter, so that 'silence' could mean one of two different things: Darcy never passed the message or Charles never contacted Jane back.
Time cures all wounds and fortunately there was one that was on its way to healing completely. Her relationship with her mother was slowly returning to what it once was. Amanda was missing her a lot, Elizabeth could tell that every time they talked on the phone, so the reunion she had been postponing finally took place. She was now traveling South for the weekends and though some subjects were still forbidden (John Lucas and Will Darcy were some of them) their chats were again becoming what they once were.
In those trips back home, Elizabeth realized that her little sister had also changed a lot during her absence. Lydia had turned from the sluttish, rebellious teenager into the introspective, locked in her room, mind your own business sort of girl. She had slowed down with partying around at night and hanging out with her friends, she lost some weight and her grades had improved slightly. But she was rather distant lately, with an above-her-company attitude. Fortunately, for her mother's sake, she had tuned down her confrontational behavior, they didn't fight anymore as they did before, but mainly because Lydia was avoiding those same fights she used to provoke. She knew this was only a phase, something that every teenager went through, but for once she was glad that her little sister wasn't giving her mother so much trouble any more.
"Mom, I'm making some tea, do you want some?" Elizabeth asked from the kitchen.
"All right, darling!"
Five minutes later, Elizabeth came with two teacups in her hands.
"Now, stand still. I want to measure this on you." Amanda stood and extended the sweater she was knitting over Elizabeth's back. "No, not yet, it's too short."
"It's coming out nicely," Elizabeth commented. "Do you think you'll finish it before I leave?"
"I'll try," Amanda sighed. "But I have to wash it first and I don't think it will dry in time."
Elizabeth turned the TV on with the remote. Today, they'd made plans to go shopping together but the weather was so awful outside that they preferred to spend the rest of this cold and rainy November day at home. "Where's Lydia?"
"Mary's house. She left just before you woke up. She said something about having to study chemistry. She was doing quite well in that one so it's good to see her so interested in studying it." Amanda sat down and started knitting again. "Did you call Jane?"
"Twice," she put some sugar in her tea. The distance between Jane and herself was something she wanted to leave behind now; she really wished to rebuild their friendship, especially if Jane was still on her own, but every time she tried to call her home she wasn't there. "I only reached her machine. It's odd, she's always home on Saturdays."
"Did you leave a message?" Amanda asked while counting the stitches.
"No, I didn't."
"Maybe she traveled to Texas, to see her parents."
"I don't think so."
Her daughter was relaxed, there was an old movie playing on TV and the mood seemed to be the appropriate one to bring up a subject that Amanda thought Elizabeth needed to talk about. "Have you seen the trailers of the movie you worked on?"
Elizabeth shot her mother a sideways glance. She guessed her intentions as soon as she pronounced the first word. Her mother had already tried to bring the Darcy issue up a couple of times and she was not willing to discuss it. "Yes."
"I think I heard that the premiere is on the following week."
"The Avant Premiere is next Wednesday."
"Looks like it's very good movie. Everyone is talking about it."
"Yes." Her daughter replied as interestedly as she could.
"I saw this William Darcy the other night, on TV. You were right, he's handsome." Amanda said in a casual voice.
Elizabeth raised the volume of the TV as an indication that she wasn't interested in hearing about him.
She proceeded anyway, "I think he's still thinking of you. What would you say if I tell you that ..."
"Mom, drop it, all right?" Elizabeth cut her off before she started. "If you mention him again, I'll spend the following weekend in Derbyshire, do you understand?"
"I can't believe you are so stubborn, Elizabeth, the man only ... all right, I'll stop," Amanda said when Elizabeth rose from the couch. "Now you'll never know that he came here to see you."
"What?" Elizabeth sat down again.
"He came to the shop, he was looking for you."
"When?"
"I thought you said you didn't want to hear about him." Amanda started knitting again.
But this little game she was playing didn't work the way she thought it would. Instead of wanting to learn more, Elizabeth reacted with violent rejection to that knowledge.
"You are right, I don't." Elizabeth rose and walked away with angry steps.
Amanda let out a loud sigh when she heard the door of Elizabeth's room slamming noisily. Again this man was standing in between her and her daughter. This would be the last time.
She was angry, she was very angry. Why did he have to come to see her?
Elizabeth sat on her bed, knees under her chin, arms around her legs, hating him. Hating him because she couldn't forget him, because he didn't allow her to forget him. If he was not in her dreams, he was on TV, she read his name on the posters or someone would talk about him. And now her own mother, the one that should be more upset with him for doing what he did was taking his side? All right, she wasn't but she was trying to soften her image of him.
And now he was coming after her. What a selfish guy he was. He left without giving her the chance to apologize for what she said and now he was coming to say something she didn't want to hear. Damn William Darcy. Couldn't he just leave her in peace?
"Excellent!" cried Jason, the photographer. "Raise your hair ... very good." He lowered the camera. "George, why don't you spray some more water over her shirt? It's getting dry."
George did as he was told, spraying some water over Lydia's white linen shirt. She giggled and closed her eyes as he did this.
"Did I tell you how sexy you are looking today?" George whispered in her ear once he finished.
She smiled flirtatiously. "A couple of times."
"All right, you two," said Jason. "Let's get on with this."
A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. That announced the end of Lydia's photo session and the beginning of the next one. George opened the door and Terry and another girl entered the studio.
"Terry!" Lydia cried excitedly. "I didn't know you were coming."
Terry grinned broadly. "Liddy! It's so good to see you. Wow." He eyed her body up and down. "You are looking great."
"Listen," George suggested, "Why don't we try some group photos before Lydia leaves? That will be fun."
Until now, Lydia had posed on her own, and while she didn't mind posing with Terry, sharing the stage with another girl wasn't to her liking. Even less so today, when they were filming a 'backstage' video of her photo session.
Terry and the other girl changed into the clothes George gave them -Lydia noticed that Andie (that was the girl's name) outfit was more sensual than hers- and they joined her in front of the camera. George told the girls to start posing together but the first shots were more like a battle where each one tried to become the center of the action instead of looking like two models working together. Lydia was quite jealous of how the other girl was stealing her place in front of the camera and George had to call their attention a couple of times before they started working properly.
"Now," said Jason, "I want more wickedness ... come on ... chests touching ... that's it."
Andie was quite a veteran at this and she placed her hands on Lydia's hips while she leaned her chest again hers. Catcalls and encouraging cries came from the observers turned them on and the girls started performing a sensuous dance that was arousing themselves and their audience.
"Fabulous ... mouths closer ... now I want a kiss ..."
"What?" Lydia giggled. He couldn't be asking her that they should kiss each other.
"Come on," cried Jason, "like Britney and Madonna. What's wrong with that?"
Wilson's was one of Darcy's favorite restaurants when he was in London. It wasn't pretentious, but it had the best Scottish food he had tasted on this side of the country. No one could cook Forfar bridies like his grandma Fitzwilliam, but here he found one that was acceptable to his standards. He liked the food, he liked the place and when in London and on a cold and rainy day like this one, a plate of steaming haggis was the best thing to warm him up.
With a sigh that combined irritation and resignation, he glanced at his watch. Ann was late, again. He knew very well her inability to arrive on time when the meeting wasn't about business, but he thought that at least this time she would have had the consideration of arriving with only a fifteen minute delay.
Maybe it was better this way. A beer and half an hour looking outside the window had done wonders to appease his nervousness. Though he wasn't completely calm either. No matter how 'honest' his relationship with Ann was, telling her that he didn't want to go on wasn't an easy thing to do. He really cared for her, like good friends care for each other, and he didn't want to hurt her. They didn't break up the first time, they just allowed distance and obligations to come in between them and after three months of separation they realized that they weren't missing each other. For a year, they walked separate paths. Ann dated someone else for a time while Darcy preferred to remain on his own.
But this time he didn't want the same thing to happen. He just didn't want to go on and wait till the relationship cooled down like the first time. He didn't want to live a lie. He never wanted it to recommence in the first place, it had been a huge mistake, so the best thing to do was to end it before someone got hurt. It didn't have much to do with his love for Elizabeth, well, it had, but not because he felt he was betraying her. As John said, it only brought emptiness and going on pretending he felt something he didn't was only bringing him more pain.
He asked the waiter for another beer and caught sight of Ann descending from a taxi across the street. She slammed the door of the car, tried to cross the street before the light changed and insulted the poor man on a bike that almost ran over her. In the same flurry, she entered the restaurant and scanned the tables looking for him. She smiled apologetically when she saw him.
"I'm sorry, Will," she kissed him quickly and sat across from him at the table, "I got caught in the traffic."
"No problem," he smiled. "I've only been waiting for half an hour."
"You still owe me that one from John's party," she retorted playfully, "So now we are even."
"Are you ready to order?" The waiter approached them and placed Darcy's second beer over the table.
Darcy looked at Ann.
"Cullen skink and a diet Coke," she replied.
"Haggis with mashed potatoes," said Darcy. His beer was still untouched so he didn't order a beverage.
The waiter left and Ann turned to the man sitting in front of her. "Now, tell me what's wrong. If you came to London on a Saturday to have lunch with me it's because something serious is happening. Don't tell me, I'll guess," Ann raised her hand, "Richard ruined the negatives and we won't be ready for the premiere."
"No" he smiled. "It's not about the movie."
"Then," she smiled impertinently, "You asked me to come because you want to break up with me."
Darcy frowned instantly. "Ann, how ...?"
"Wills," she held his hand over the table. "We've known each other since we were children. I'm not stupid, you know, I can see that you don't have your heart in this. Do you know how many times we slept together since we started back?"
"Four times?" he asked tentatively.
"Twice, and you weren't there," she said matter-of-factly.
Darcy looked down. "I'm sorry, Ann, it's just that I ..."
"I'm not reproaching you for that, William, you made it clear that night in LA. We tried it before and it didn't work. I must confess that I had expectations that this time it would be different, that it would work, but I can see that it's not."
He held her fingers in his hand. "That's why I want to end it now. It would be the best, for both of us. I'm not in love, Ann; I'm not being sincere. I can't go on pretending I'm interested or happy or that this is what I want. I'm being unfair with you and with myself."
"I know that, Wills." She sighed and caressed his hand with her thumb. "You are hurting. You are not telling me but I can see it. That's why I'm staying around, why I'm insisting on this. I just didn't want to leave you on your own." Then a wicked smile curled her lips up. "I know that what I'm going to say will sound scheming and selfish, but I'm also with you because it's convenient for me."
"How so?" He half smiled.
"Do you think it would be the same if I enter a room without you standing by my side? People turn to look at you when you show up at a party," she said playfully. "You are William Darcy, the best of this new generation of British directors. Everyone wants to see you. I'm using you as my escort and promoting both our careers in the meantime."
A soft chuckle acknowledged a fact that was half joke, half true. "You deserve more than that, someone who really loves you."
"Who says I want more than that? I'm very happy with my independence. That's the good thing about dating you, Will, you are so uninterested in me that I can do whatever I want. But you are right, it's not fair, for you or for me. Anyway, we always worked better as friends that as lovers, so let's end this definitively."
"Now you are dumping me." Darcy raised a teasing eyebrow.
"You are right, sir," she smiled. "Consider yourself officially dumped."
"Now, Terry," George asked the male model, "Let's take some pictures of the two of you."
Posing with Terry was something that Lydia had been wishing for a long time. The man was handsome, fit and while she was in his arms, if it was only for a moment, it made her feel like she was one of those models that posed for international fashion campaigns. And Terry was guiding her marvelously. He was touching her everywhere, she was feeling sexy and emboldened and began to do things she would never do in front of a camera, like consenting to remove her shirt when Terry removed his. George promised that they would be careful with the material, showing only the pictures where her breasts were covered by Terry's hands or other elements, but she didn't care. She liked this too much to mind about that.
Terry was standing behind her, holding her against his chest, with one hand on her bosom while the other was on her stomach. Lydia lifted her arms around his neck and arched her body to his, provocatively leaning her backside on his front. The model didn't waste his time in moving further and throwing a glance of victory in George's direction, Terry slowly slid his hand down, introducing it inside Lydia's silk boxers. She squirmed and giggled immediately, but Jason was able to obtain a couple of very good pictures before that happened.
"All right, this is it." George announced the end of the photo session. "I don't want you to have any problems at home, Lydia. You said you had to be back before five."
Finding the whole thing very amusing, Lydia ignored George's serious face and turned towards Terry, scolding him for being so forward. The model apologized with a flirting smile, saying she was looking too sexy lately for him to control himself. Before he could finish, George dragged her off the stage and took her to the other room so she could change.
"What's wrong with you?" Lydia removed herself from his grip. He was holding her wrist quite roughly.
"You better change, you'll be late." He turned away from her.
For a moment, she didn't understand what was going on, but then she realized that George was jealous of how Terry was touching her. "George?" She ran her hand up and down his back. "Are you angry at me?"
Slowly, George turned around while running his hand through his hair. He liked her, a lot. He knew the dangers of becoming involved with the girls, but he was feeling too much attraction to control himself. He had endured the photo session, her provoking glances, her roguish interaction with Andie and he couldn't understand what stopped him from making love to her right there. And now she was standing there, half naked, with an inviting smile on her lips and he couldn't hold back anymore.
"Oh, Liddy," he pulled her against him, "you don't know what you're doing to me."
One second later, George's mouth was over hers. They kissed, passionately, madly and only the fact that they were so close to the others stopped them from moving ahead.
"Lydia," George whispered in lust and in love. "I don't want any other man touching you, do you understand?"
"George," she sighed, overwhelmed by the intensity of his voice. She had secretly wished that this would happen for weeks, she had been doing everything she could to attract him and she couldn't believe it was finally happening. "All the time I was thinking it was you."
That confession melted the last traces of control that he had. They kissed ravenously until a knock at the door interrupted them.
"George, we need you here." Jason called him.
Breathless, he pulled back from her. "I'm coming!" he yelled. Then, turning to her, he said. "I want you, but not like this, Liddy."
Though disappointed that they had to stop, she understood. "Can we see each other tomorrow?"
George cupped her cheek and smiled tenderly. "Of course, sweetheart. Tomorrow. I'll come for you. Wait for me at the café, the one with red tables, around the corner from your building. I'll be there at eleven."
She nodded and pulled him into one last kiss.
"I love you, George," she whispered against his lips.
"I love you too." He wasn't sure if this was true or not, but now, with her, it seemed the right thing to say.
"My mother will go crazy when she learns we broke up." Ann lit up a cigarette. "She was having great expectations about us this time."
"I'm sure she'll understand." Darcy observed how she nervously inhaled the smoke. "I thought you quit smoking."
"I tried, but with the premiere and all this stress I just couldn't hold back anymore. You smoke too, so don't start with that crap about what is good or bad for me."
"You know it's not the same. I don't send the smoke into my lungs. And I'm only smoking one or two cigars a week." His attitude was as defensive as hers.
The waiter brought their coffees and Darcy paid the check.
"Are we going to the premiere together?" Ann asked him after finishing her coffee. She wasn't sure if this 'sentimental rupture' would change what was originally planned for the promotion.
"Yes," he said with a half smile. "It's too late to find another date."
She chuckled as they rose from the table. "Well, at least I can display myself on your arm one last time."
"That would be my pleasure." He smiled.
"Joan Rivers agreed to come to the London premiere," Ann said as Darcy helped her into her coat. "She confirmed yesterday."
"You convinced her?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I thought she never moves from the studios unless she's covering the Oscars."
Grinning, Ann wrapped her scarf around her neck. "Actually, she's coming to England for another event. And you know she has a soft side for John. A call from him and a gross check and she'll swim across the ocean if necessary."
"I'm feeling so nervous about this one, Ann." Darcy let out a tense sigh as he buttoned his raincoat. He placed his hand on the small of her back and they left the restaurant. It was very cold outside. "The tests came out fine, but I still have doubts about the public's reaction."
Ann placed a comforting hand on his cheek. Darcy was not someone that would share his fears or insecurities with the others so it was quite touching to see him depone his self-sufficient attitude at least for a moment. This was a major bet for him, he co-financed this movie and it was his first one with worldwide distribution. If everything went fine, it would skyrocket his career as a director. "It's a great movie, Will, it will be a huge success, I can feel it."
"Thank you, Ann." He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her into a tight embrace. "For everything."
She allowed him to hold her for a moment and then pulled back, quite abruptly, and looked around for a taxi. "I better be going."
Darcy wasn't sure that the sniff he heard was provoked by the cold temperature or by something else. Was all this irony just a facade? Was the iron woman finally softening her heart? "Do you want a lift?"
"No, thanks, there's a taxi." She avoided his stare.
"Bye, take care, Annie." Darcy opened the door for her.
Ann climbed inside the car and waved her hand at him as it drove away. With a frown, he noticed that her smile wasn't spontaneous and that her eyes were shiny with tears. Maybe Ann wasn't so unaffected by their separation as she let him think she was.
Elizabeth organized her day so she could be back at her uncle's before five. Not that she cared much about the time, but exactly at that hour a cable channel would be transmitting live the pre-show of London premiere of 'The Secret of the Mountain'. Maddy teased her all day long, saying that her usual aloofness was only a bluff and that she was desperate to see the movie she worked on. Of course, Elizabeth brushed it off with feigned indifference but the truth was that she was quite anxious to see it. So there she was, five o'clock, sitting on the couch with a soda, popcorn and peanuts waiting for the show to start.
Like every event of the kind, it was quite boring at the beginning. A reporter was describing the red carpet, the decoration and announcing the celebrities that might come to the premier. There were pan shots of the public (everyone looked like they were freezing), the decoration, the red carpet, and the fans again. Ten minutes later, the limos started arriving and Joan Rivers -who had the exclusive of the event- took her place before the staircases to interview the celebrities as the arrived. Kate Winslet, Dougray Scott, Chris Penn and some other famous actors showed their support for John Lucas' new movie and, as a way of payment for the favor they bestowed on him, they spoke about their upcoming projects.
Elizabeth's breath caught in her throat when she saw John Lucas walking the red carpet. On his right, his wife, on his left, his daughter, her half sister. He was looking radiant in his tux, fat as she recalled him, and with that good-natured, happy air that she always found adorable. She couldn't describe what she felt, it was still too recent, too confusing. He wasn't her father but he wasn't Uncle John anymore.
Soon after she recovered from seeing John on TV, she received strike two. Joan's voice turned more excited and the camera turn to her right to focus the arrival of the next celebrity. The figure that emerged from the limo was one she knew too well.
"Look at William!" Maddy said excitedly. "Time has been very kind to him. He's looking even more handsome than he was when I met him! And who is that woman? His wife?"
"No," Elizabeth replied in a strangled voice, hoping she was right. "She's Ann de Bourgh, she's in charge of the marketing campaign."
"Beautiful, don't you think so? They are both so tall and elegant. Very nice couple."
Elizabeth was too disturbed by the sight of them to reply. Darcy and Ann's interaction were distant and proper, very much like it was at Rosings, so she couldn't affirm or deny that they were a 'couple' on a different level. And if they were, it was none of her business. But what was really bothering her was something else. Darcy had the right to do what he pleased with his life, they weren't together, that had been her decision, but she couldn't stop thinking that that could have been her place.
'And to think that I could be the one standing there with him,' she thought, feeling a pang of regret. Instead of watching the show as a stranger, she might have been part of it, holding his arm as the flashes illuminated their walk, smiling at the crowd while her aunt and her mother commented what a lovely couple they were. But no, she refused that place and now she had to conform herself to see him on TV.
Joan was quite inquisitive with him. Of course, she was being paid to do exactly this, it was part of the promotion, so she made a lot of questions about the movie and the actors and asked for juicy details about the shooting. Charming as ever -though Elizabeth could sense a little nervousness in his voice- Darcy supplied as much information as he could. When his ten minutes were over, he walked towards the theatre with Ann by his side.
It didn't take long before Caroline made her appearance. As always, she was a stunner. She came on her own, dressed in a fabulous powder pink, one-shoulder dress that wasn't curve-hugging but that showed her slim, perfect figure to its advantage. She posed for the cameras, waved at the fans and walked towards Joan to tell her about her experience during this movie.
Caroline walked into the theatre and a sudden uproar made everyone turn towards the street. The fans started screaming and the cameras pointed at the star of the movie that had just arrived. Charles Bingley was doing his entrance and in only a matter of seconds, he became the center of the world. Gorgeous in black tie, he posed for the photographers and stood there for the crowd to admire. Elizabeth could almost feel the excitement erupting from everyone around him. The girls were yelling, some of them fainted and the reporters were calling his name so he would pose for them. Charles turned to the limo and extended his hand to help his 'date' out.
Elizabeth blinked twice, fearing that her eyes were deceiving her. "Jane!" she gasped.
A new row of flashes brightened the red carpet. Looking so very happy, Charles encircled Jane's waist as they posed together for the photographers. Beautiful, wearing a deep red maternity dress, Jane smiled shyly at the cameras and the crowd that had gone crazy with the image of their idol in this new and unexpected role. He whispered something in Jane's ear, they smiled at each other and the fans exploded.
Joan Rivers had been speculating about who this pregnant and beautiful blonde might be since she saw her coming out from the limo. When the couple reached her, she was all excitement.
"Charles, I can't believe it! You MUST tell who she is."
Oh so very charming, Charles replied. "Joan, I've been holding back this secret because I wanted to give you the exclusive. This is Jane, my wife, the mother of my child to be."
Only the fact that Joan Rivers was a very experienced professional prevented her from fainting right there on the red carpet. "This is just amazing! And she's pregnant, how many months are you along, dear?"
"I'm entering the sixth month," Jane replied with a radiant smile.
"And you are so beautiful, you two are beautiful. I wish you all the happiness in the world. But, when did all this happen? When did you get married?"
Charles took the lead in the conversation, not wishing to supply any information that would start ill-intended speculations on the press. His agent would take care of details later. "We married in a secret ceremony here in London."
"Now, I want to know where you met," Joan clutched Charles' arm, "How long you have been together ... everything!"
"We met during the filming of this movie. Jane was my makeup artist. That makes this film even more special to me," replied a smiling Charles.
The conversation then turned towards the film, Charles' character, anecdotes about the African location and his expectations about this movie. As a way to assure that he would have Joan's good favor where his recent marriage was concerned -always be in good favor with the press, that's every celebrity's mantra-, Charles promised her that she would be the first one to know when his baby was born. More good wishes, the typical condescending reporter babbling then Charles and Jane made one last turn around for the fans and photographers to see before entering the theatre.
"Can you believe this?" Maddy asked. "Charles Bingley is married! Wasn't that the girl you became friends with?"
Elizabeth was too stunned to say a thing.
"She's lovely, and they look so happy. You never said she was pregnant, Lizzy."
Elizabeth sat back on the couch, unable to utter another word. So Darcy fulfilled his promise in the end; he reunited Jane and Charles.